University quotes

“- Chris: I volunteered. I dropped out of college, and told them I wanted the infantry, combat, and Vietnam.
- Crawford: You volunteered for this shit, man?
- Chris: You believe that?
- King: You's a crazy fucker, giving up college.
- Chris: It didn't make much sense. I wasn't learning anything.”
Charlie Sheen - Chris
Chris Pedersen - Crawford
Keith David - King

“Brown. Me. Wow! It wasn't possible! Did I deserve it? I mean, twenty minutesago some guy was masturbating over me. ...Mom! I need more soap!”

Dominique Swain - Andrea Marr

“I told their teacher to beat them. He beat them so well that this one's going to the university.”

Paul Muni - Wang

“At college, more than anywhere else, one was likely to make the friendships that supported one through life.”
Alicia Vikander - Vera Brittain

“You may say that this falls into the great academic tradition of knowing more and more about less and less until we know everything about nothing.”

Julianne Moore - Dr. Alice Howland

“- Dean Vernon Wormer: Greg, what is the worst fraternity on this campus?
- Greg Marmalard: Well that would be hard to say, sir. They're each outstanding in their own way.”
James Daughton - Greg Marmalard
John Vernon - Dean Vernon Wormer

“I'm an astronomer, not a doctor! I mean, I am a doctor, but I'm not that kind of doctor. I have a doctorate, it's not the same thing. You can't help people with a doctorate. You just sit there and you're useless!”
David Hyde Pierce - Doctor Doppler

“- Mr. Bailey: You go to high school in Inglewood. You think you're going to get into Harvard?
- Malcolm: I'm from a poor, crime-filled neighborhood, raised by a single mother, don't know my dad, blah, blah. It's cliche.”
Bruce Beatty - Mr. Bailey
Shameik Moore - Malcolm

“The only magic I ever did was try to figure out how to stay in college for nine years and not go back to my trailer park in Idaho.”
Dana Goodman - Carrie Mae

“- Michelle Flaherty: So Finch, what will you do with your fancy NYU diploma?
- Paul Finch: I'll frame it. Then I'll write my memoirs.”
Alyson Hannigan - Michelle Flaherty
Eddie Kaye Thomas - Paul Finch

“- Darnell Lewis: When you was at Harvard, did you ever get raped for failing a test?
- James King: I think that's more of a Yale thing.”
Kevin Hart - Darnell
Will Ferrell - James

“To Harvard we will go. Hi ho the merry-o, to Harvard we will go. Hey!”

Graham Phillips - Danny Campbell
Kate Walsh - Danny's Mom
Jim Gaffigan - Danny's Dad

“The purpose of university is to find a suitable husband.”
Frances Fisher - Ruth Dewitt Bukater

“When I decided to go to university I didn't know what I wanted to do.”
Kim Coates

“- Maureen: Look, you're a smart girl, Jody. If you turn in your application now, you can still get into a good college.
- Jody: But I don't want to go to college. I want to dance.
- Maureen: Yeah? Well so do a lot of people.”
Susan May Pratt - Maureen
Amanda Schull - Jody

“- Elle Woods: Going to Harvard is the only way I'm going to get the love of my life back.
- Elle's Father: Oh, sweetheart, you don't need law school. Law school is for people who are boring and ugly and serious. And you, button, are none of those things.”
Reese Witherspoon - Elle Woods
James Read - Elle's Father

“- Mike Dexter: Guys, we're gonna be in college soon. You know what there's gonna be in college, right?
- Jock #1: Girls that used to be in high school.
- Mike Dexter: No, women. College women. Women with no curfew, women on the pill, women... women, bro. We are staring into the future here. And the future is women.”
Peter Facinelli - Mike Dexter
Channon Roe - Jock #1

“- Nicole: So, I take it you're not in a frat?
- Casey: No, because I'm not angry and secretly gay.”
Sarah Wright - Nicole
Skylar Astin - Casey

“- Sydney Ellen Wade: Oh, Andy, a C minus in Women's Studies.
- President Andrew Shepherd: Yeah, well, that class wasn't about what I thought it was about.”

Annette Bening - Sydney Ellen Wade
Michael Douglas - President Andrew Shepherd

Those persons whose names were called, and whom are standing, the university has instructed me to inform you that your financial bill as of yet has not been paid. You may leave and settle your debts. However, you may not return to this course until you have done so. There are "no" handouts in the free world. And appropriately, none in my course.... (continue)(continue reading)
Laurence Fishburne - Professor Maurice Phipps

“- Roland Leighton: When we're at Oxford, we'll be able to see each other every day.
- Vera Brittain: I'll be concentrating on my work.
- Roland Leighton: Well, you'll need fresh air, surely. And a chaperone.”
Kit Harington - Roland Leighton
Alicia Vikander - Vera Brittain

“- Alex: I have a class at 7:00.
- Charley Brewster: People actually attend class at 7 in the morning? It's inhumane, it's anti-American.”
Traci Lind - Alex
William Ragsdale - Charley Brewster

“- Donald Kimball: What whole Yale thing?
- Patrick Bateman: Well, for one thing, I think he was probably a closet homosexual who did a lot of cocaine. That whole Yale thing.”
Willem Dafoe - Donald Kimball
Christian Bale - Patrick Bateman

“- Dawn Weiner: I don't want to go to Disney World.
- Mark Weiner: Don't be stupid. If nothing else, it'll look good on your college résumé.”
Heather Matarazzo - Dawn Wiener
Matthew Faber - Mark Wiener

“- Simon Wilder: Which door do I leave from?
- Prof. Pitkannan: At Harvard we don't end our sentences with prepositions.
- Simon Wilder: Okay. Which door do I leave from, asshole?”
Joe Pesci - Simon Wilder
Gore Vidal - Prof. Pitkannan