University quotes

“I'm sorry you didn't get into Stanford. But if you think that going here is the only way that you can be the person you want to be, well, then I just feel sorry for you.”
Schuyler Fisk - Ashley

“It's your choice: you can run off with Megan and turn into a raging bull-dyke, or you can do the simulation and graduate and lead a normal life.”
Cathy Moriarty - Mary Brown

“- Randall - 'R': I want you to go to college. It's really important, okay?
- Randy Harris, Jr.: Did you?
- Randall - 'R': Yes.
- Randy Harris, Jr.: What did you learn?
- Randall - 'R': Give me a second, I'll think of it.”

Albert Brooks - Randall - 'R'
Desmond Harrington - Randy

“With a law degree you're taking on insurance. After that you can do anything you want.”

Al Pacino - Michael Corleone

“- Larry Kroger: What are you majoring in?
- Brunella: Primitive cultures.”

Tom Hulce - Larry Kroger
Eliza Roberts - Brunella

“I'm Lorna Larkin, Miss Texas. I'm a magna cum laude graduate from the University of Texas with a double degree in genetic engineering and cosmetology.”
Bridgette Wilson-Sampras - Lorna Larkin

“I'm a bum. But I'm a Harvard bum.”
Joe Pesci - Simon Wilder

“Obtuse? Oh, what a dreadfully big word for a college dropout.”
Nancy Travis - Prof. Joyce Reardon

“- Shaun: I have to go to college.
- Cindy: Why?
- Shaun: Because it's what you do after high school.”
Colin Hanks - Shaun Brumder
Catherine O'Hara - Cindy Beugler

“Personally, I liked the university. They gave us money and facilities, we didn't have to produce anything! You've never been out of college! You don't know what it's like out there! I've worked in the private sector. They expect results.”
Dan Aykroyd - Dr. Raymond Stantz

“When a girl tells you how many guys she's slept with, multiply it by three and that's the real number. Didn't you fuckers learn anything in college?”
Seann William Scott - Stifler

“You went to college to drink beer, play football, and get laid. None of this academic shit.”

Ed Lauter - Buzz

“- Max: Do you realize going off to college means no more well meaning, but totally smothering, overprotective, doting, a-hyuck-ing dads?
- P.J.: Yeah, well... yours, at least. My dad's been counting down the days until he can turn my room into a bowling alley.”
Jason Marsden - Max Goof
Rob Paulsen - P.J. Pete

Sophomore year at Brown, we had this one hot month. But, of course, you know me, I got restless. So, I get up the nerve to break his heart and he gives me this look, and then he says, “The thing that makes me wanna cry is, I'm losing the best friend I ever had”. And at that moment, I knew, I felt the same way. So, I cried, for maybe the third... (continue)(continue reading)
Julia Roberts - Julianne Potter

“- Danny Noonan: I planned to go to law school after I graduated, but it looks like my folks won't have enough money to put me through college.
- Judge Elihu Smails: Well, the world needs ditch diggers, too.”
Michael O'Keefe - Danny Noonan
Ted Knight - Judge Elihu Smails

“Back where I come from, we have universities, seats of great learning, where men go to become great thinkers. And when they come out, they think deep thoughts and with no more brains than you have. But they have one thing you haven't got: a diploma.”
Frank Morgan - The Wizard of Oz

“- Jason Melon: Wait a minute. When did you dream about going to college?
- Thornton Melon: When I used to fall asleep in high school.”
Keith Gordon - Jason Melon
Rodney Dangerfield - Thornton Melon

College chicks are totally different, bro. They're all serious and shit. They all talk about world issues and "ecolomological" crap. They all wanna date older guys.
Jerry O'Connell - Trip McNeely

“I think that Bisexual Asian Studies should have its own building. The question is who goes? The math department or the hockey team?”
Jessica Walter - President Garcia-Thompson

“- Jimmy Reardon: Do you want to give up? Is that what you're trying to tell me?
- Fred Roberts: That's right...
- Jimmy Reardon: Fine. Go to Harvard a virgin! But what are you gonna do when they ask you how many times you've scored? Those ivy league schools send out questionaires on that kinda stuff you know.
- Fred Roberts: I'll lie.”
River Phoenix - Jimmy Reardon
Matthew Perry - Fred Roberts

“One's primary purpose at university level is to learn how to think.”
Laurence Fishburne - Professor Maurice Phipps