Bette Midler movie quotes

“- Deborah: Do you really hate this dress?
- Nick: What I really hate is this jacket, this white jacket. I look like a Brazilian gigolo.”
Bette Midler - Deborah
Woody Allen - Nick

“- Hillary: Oh, for God’s sake. Don’t you get it? We’ve grown apart. It happens to the best of friends, it’s happened to us. We might as well face it.
- CC: You’re ridiculous.
- Hillary: I’m ridiculous?
- CC: We haven’t grown apart. You’ve fallen apart.”
Barbara Hershey - Hillary Whitney Essex
Bette Midler - CC Bloom

“I betrayed you? You betrayed me! What about your seven month adventure with a girl named Ed?”

Bette Midler - Deborah

“- Additional Stepford Wife: I'm going to use a pinecone as the baby Jesus this year.
- Bobbie Markowitz: And I'm going to attach a pinecone to my vibrator and have a really merry Christmas!”
Emily Wing - Additional Stepford Wife
Bette Midler - Bobbie Markowitz

“- Willie Brodax: How 'bout a beer?
- Bonita Friml: That's no good for a radiator!
- Willie Brodax: Thought it might start your motor.
- Bonita Friml: I haven't got a motor!
- Willie Brodax: You will.”
Ken Wahl - Willie Brodax
Bette Midler - Bonita Friml

“- Ken Kessler: Wouldn't it be better if we were to strike at the core of Sam's being? His reason for living?
- Sandy: Well, what would that be?
- Barbara: His testicles!”
Judge Reinhold - Ken Kessler
Helen Slater - Sandy Kessler
Bette Midler - Barbara Stone

“- Winifred: Look...it's a black river. [Pushes Sarah on the road]
- Sarah: Tis firm! Tis firm as stone!...
- Winifred: Why it's a road!”
Bette Midler - Winifred
Sarah Jessica Parker - Sarah

The women are getting nasty. So what do you do when he comes home with the smell of another woman on him? Do you say, "Oh honey, let me open up my loving arms and my loving legs. Dive right in, baby, the water is fine?". Is that what you say, girls? Or do you say, "Fuck this shit! I've had enough of you, you asshole! Pack your bags. I'm putting... (continue)(continue reading)
Bette Midler - Mary Rose Foster

“Oh look, another glorious morning. Makes me sick!”
Bette Midler - Winifred

I read them women's magazines, you know? The ones that tell you how to get a better life. They say "go in a new direction". I wanna say, "where's the door? I'll go but where's the goddamn door?".
Bette Midler - Stella Claire

“- Doorman: Congratulations on winning the Tony Award.
- CC: Wasn't that something? Did you like my speech? I didn't mean a word of it! Did you see those other broads nashing their teeth? Ha ha, was great, wasn't it?”
Frank Campanella - Doorman
Bette Midler - CC Bloom

“Girl, we've got work to do
Pass me the paint and glue
Perfect isn't easy
But... it's... me!
And when one knows the world is watching
One does what one must
Some minor adjustments, Darling
Not for my vanity
But for humanity.”

Bette Midler - Georgette

- Rose Ratliff: Look, a sink in the living room.
- Sadie Ratliff: That's what the French call a “bidet”.
- Rose Ratliff: The French must be taller than me.
Lily Tomlin - Rose Ratliff
Bette Midler - Sadie Ratliff

“- Billy Butcherson: Go to hell!
- Winifred Sanderson: Oh! I've been there, thank you. I found it quite lovely.”
Doug Jones - Billy
Bette Midler - Winifred

“- Dave Whiteman: I thought we weren't going to drink anymore.
- Barbara Whiteman: Well, Dave. Yeah, it's true. I am a vegetarian. But I hear that vodka comes from a potato!”

Richard Stephen Dreyfuss - Dave Whiteman
Bette Midler - Barbara Whiteman

“- Tito: Allow me to introduce myself: I am Ignacio Alonso Julio Federico de Tito.
- Georgette: Get away from me, you little bug-eyed creep!”
Cheech Marin - Tito
Bette Midler - Georgette

“All I know about are people fucking their way to the movies, and popping pills and ending up in the gutter. All I know about are aging stars, hopeful whores and cheap studs. All I know about are tits, ass and the truth... and nobody writes books about that.”
Bette Midler - Jacqueline Susann

“- Winifred Sanderson: Therefore, it stands to reason, does it not, sisters dear? That we must find the book, brew the potion and suck the lives out of the children of Salem before sunrise. Otherwise it's curtains. We - evaporate! We cease to exist! Dost thou comprehend?
- Mary Sanderson: You explained it beautifully, Winnie. They way in which...” (continue)(continue reading)
Bette Midler - Winifred
Kathy Najimy - Mary
Sarah Jessica Parker - Sarah

“- Dr. Von Zimmer: Has there been some recent change in living arrangements?
- Barbara Whiteman: We have a houseguest.
- Dr. Von Zimmer: Oh. How long are you staying?
- Dave Whiteman: He's staying as long as he likes. And if the doggy doesn't like it, then the doggy can find other living arrangements.”

Donald F. Muhich - Dr. Von Zimmer
Bette Midler - Barbara Whiteman

“- Brenda Morelli Cushman: I remember your first talkie.
- Elise Elliot Atchison: What did you ever win? A pie eating contest? Best digestion?”
Bette Midler - Brenda Morelli Cushman
Goldie Hawn - Elise Elliot Atchison

“- Deborah: I have something to get you out of your midlife crisis.
- Nick: That can only mean a full-body vibrator!”

Bette Midler - Deborah
Woody Allen - Nick

“- Nick: I liked her. I loved the sex.
- Deborah: So, you love me, but you only like the sex.”

Woody Allen - Nick
Bette Midler - Deborah

“- Eddie Sparks: You know...for an old broad, you're still pretty sexy.
- Dixie Leonard: How would you know?
- Eddie Sparks: I think I'm getting excited.
- Dixie Leonard: Let me know when you're sure.”
James Caan - Eddie Sparks
Bette Midler - Dixie Leonard

“Book darling... come to mummy..”
Bette Midler - Winifred

“Ain't it just grand layin' there late at night in your bed, waitin' for your man to show up? And when he finally does, at oh about 4 o'clock in the mornin', with whiskey on his breath, and the smell of another woman on his person... Oh honey, I can smell another woman at 500 paces. That's a easy one to catch.”

Bette Midler - Mary Rose Foster