Danny DeVito movie quotes

“- V. A. Vandevere: Uh, Max, if you don’t mind my asking, where did you come upon the animal?
- Max Medici: He hails from the far east.
- V. A. Vandevere: How far?
- Max Medici: Far.
- Neils Skellig: He doesn’t look like magic to me.
- Holt Farrier: Well, what the heck can you tell by appearances, right?”

Michael Keaton - V. A. Vandevere
Danny DeVito - Max Medici
Joseph Gatt - Neils Skellig
Colin Farrell - Holt Farrier

“Welcome to the Medici Family circus where we believe no wild animals shall be held in captivity.”
Danny DeVito - Max Medici

“Never do anything I tell you, without checking with me first.”
Danny DeVito - Max Medici

“- V. A. Vandevere: He stole my elephant! Medici, we had a deal!
- Max Medici: I'm no expert, but I think you have bigger problems!”

Michael Keaton - V. A. Vandevere
Danny DeVito - Max Medici

“Why do these third world cesspools always got to be so hot?”
Danny DeVito - Ralph

“There's no such thing as monsters. You all know that, don't you? Monsters exist only in ourselves. They live in the darkest chambers of our hearts.”

Danny DeVito - John Leary

“A civilized divorce is a contradiction in terms.”
Danny DeVito - Gavin D'Amato

“Her father was very, very rich, and very, very sick. The doctors assured me he'd be dead any minute. There wasn't a second to lose! I rushed right out and married the boss's daughter. He was so sick, it was like the Angel of Death was sitting in the room with him, watching the clock. They pulled the plug on him... he wheezed and shook for about...” (continue)(continue reading)
Danny DeVito - Sam Stone

“- Julius Benedict: You have no respect for logic.
- Vincent Benedict: But he's got an axe!”
Arnold Schwarzenegger - Julius Benedict
Danny DeVito - Vincent Benedict

“I'd look at them and I noticed, they don't stay like this. None of 'em. They put on years and pounds and wrinkles. And I got one like that at home. And we can talk to each other. I know her and I'll always know her.”

Danny DeVito - Jimmy Merino

“I robbed a thief! How can you not see the humor in that?”

Danny DeVito - Max Fairbanks

“- Larry: Owen, what the hell did you do to my wife?
- Owen: I don't want to say over the phone. All I can tell ya is that I killed her last night.”

Billy Crystal - Larry
Danny DeVito - Owen

“- Max Fairbanks: Nobody talks to me that way! Nobody!
- Gloria Sidell: I do!
- Max Fairbanks: That turns me on!”

Danny DeVito - Max Fairbanks
Glenne Headly - Gloria Sidell

“Allow me to untangle this web of shit. I don't care if his last job was jugging apples for a hut full of pygmies on the outskirts of the Congo! This man fits the bill, and you need him! And that's why the rhino's going to get exactly what he deserves.”

Danny DeVito - Burke Bennett

“- Joe Moore: Anybody can get the goods. The hard part's getting away. You plan a good enough getaway, you could steal Ebbets Field.
- Mickey Bergman: Ebbets Field's gone.
- Joe Moore: What did I tell you?”
Gene Hackman - Joe Moore
Danny DeVito - Mickey Bergman

“- Joe Moore: Where's my wife?
- Mickey Bergman: Let me tell you something about your girl Joe, she's a whore.”
Gene Hackman - Joe Moore
Danny DeVito - Mickey Bergman

The choices we make dictate the life we lead, ”to thine own self be true”.
Danny DeVito - Bill Rago

“- Owen: Larry! I can't breathe!
- Larry: Yes! That's because I'm choking you!”
Danny DeVito - Owen
Billy Crystal - Larry

“- Nora Tilley: If we went on a picnic it would be fun.
- Ernest Tilley: I don't understand a picnic. We go someplace, we put a thing on the ground and eat.
- Nora Tilley: Yeah, it's nice to do that.
- Ernest Tilley: Why? I don't get it. It's better sittin' in front of the TV.
- Nora Tilley: I happen to think there's somethin' nice about a...” (continue)(continue reading)
Barbara Hershey - Nora Tilley
Danny DeVito - Ernest Tilley

“- Lawrence Garfield: Would you like a donut?
- Kate Sullivan: No thank you. I'm not hungry.
- Lawrence Garfield: Gotta be hungry to eat a donut? I never heard of such a thing.”
Danny DeVito - Lawrence Garfield
Penelope Ann Miller - Kate Sullivan

“- Catwoman: We need to talk. You see, you and I have something in common.
- The Penguin: Sounds familiar. Appetite for destruction? Contempt for the czars of fashion? Wait, don't tell me... naked sexual charisma.
- Catwoman: Batman. The thorn in both our sides. The fly in our ointment.”
Michelle Pfeiffer - Catwoman
Danny DeVito - Penguin

“- Catwoman: Batman napalmed my arm, he knocked me off a building just when I was starting to feel good about myself. I wanna play an integral part in his degradation.
- The Penguin: A plan is forming.
- Catwoman: I want in. The thought of busting Batman makes me feel all... dirty. Maybe I'll just give myself a bath right here.”
Michelle Pfeiffer - Catwoman
Danny DeVito - Penguin

“He wrote plays. Plays? You know, like TV without the box.”

Danny DeVito - Bill Rago

“I am self-centred. I just adore myself.”
Danny DeVito

“I'll tell you one thing, it's a cruel, cruel world.”
Danny DeVito