Danny DeVito movie quotes

“Of course I've got lawyers. They are like nuclear weapons, I've got em 'cause everyone else has. But as soon as you use them they screw everything up.”
Danny DeVito

“- Mickey Bergman: OK, you want to wrap it up? Or you want to just stand around here, try to guess my real name?
- Joe Moore: What is your real name?
- Mickey Bergman: Rumpelstiltskin.
- Joe Moore: What was it before you changed it?”
Danny DeVito - Mickey Bergman
Gene Hackman - Joe Moore

“- Burke Bennett: This is the high life, Sheldon. You gotta get used to this. Pretty soon you're gonna be pissin' on hundred dollar bills just to see the look on Franklin's face!
- Sheldon Mopes: I don't think I could ever do that. I have too much respect for what that man accomplished.”
Danny DeVito - Burke Bennett
Edward Norton - Sheldon Mopes

“I trained all those would-be heroes. Odysseus, Perseus, Theseus. Alotayusses! And every one of those bums let me down flatter than a discus. None of them could go the distance. And then, there was Achilles. Now there was a guy who had it all: the build, the foot-speed. He could jab! He could take a hit! He could keep on coming! But that...” (continue)(continue reading)

Danny DeVito - Phil

“A bad salesman will automatically drop his price. Bad salesmen make me sick.”
Danny DeVito - Sam Stone

“Everybody needs money. That's why they call it money.”
Danny DeVito - Mickey Bergman

- Bill Coles: Can I speak frankly?
- Lawrence Garfield: No. Lie to me! Tell me how thrilled you are to know me. I always speak frankly. I hate people who say "Can we speak frankly?". It means they're bullshittin' me the rest of the time.
Dean Jones - Bill Coles
Danny DeVito - Lawrence Garfield

“Since when do you have to be nice to be right?”
Danny DeVito - Lawrence Garfield

“My dear penguins, we stand on a great threshold! It's okay to be scared; many of you won't be coming back. Thanks to Batman, the time has come to punish all God's children! 1st, 2nd, 3rd and 4th-born! Why be biased? Male and female! Hell, the sexes are equal with their erogenous zones blown sky high! Forward march! The liberation of Gotham has...” (continue)(continue reading)

Danny DeVito - Penguin

“Not Albert Schweltzer. Robin Hood. I take from the rich. And give to the middle class... Well, the upper middle class.”

Danny DeVito - Lawrence Garfield

“- Lawrence Garfield: I don't take money from widows or orphans, I make them money! I am sorry.
- Bea Sullivan: Before or after you put them out of business?”
Danny DeVito - Lawrence Garfield
Piper Laurie - Bea Sullivan

“You gotta admit I played this stinkin' city like a harp from hell.”
Danny DeVito - Penguin

“- Chili Palmer: It's the Cadillac of hybrids.
- Martin Weir: But what about speed?
- Chili Palmer: If you're important, people will wait.”

John Travolta - Chili Palmer
Danny DeVito - Martin Weir

“- Catwoman: Not even in office yet and already an enemies list?
- The Penguin: Those names are not for prying eyes. Hey, why should I trust some cat-broad, anyway? Maybe you're just a screwed-up sorority chick who's gettin' back at her daddy for not buying her that pony when she turned sweet sixteen.”
Michelle Pfeiffer - Catwoman
Danny DeVito - Penguin

“You were a big fish in a small pond, but this here is the ocean and your drownin'.”
Danny DeVito - Amos Calloway

“This is all just a bad dream. You're at home, in bed, heavily sedated, resting comfortably, dying from the carcinogens you personally spewed in a lifetime of profiteering. Tragic irony or poetic justice, you tell me.”
Danny DeVito - Penguin

“I want my house to be seen from space!”
Danny DeVito - Buddy Hall

“You're Beauty and the Beast in one luscious Christmas gift pack.”

Danny DeVito - Penguin

I'm really glad you rejected me ten years ago when I auditioned for the part of Eddie Solomon, the pedophile clown in "Birthday Boy". If I'd have gotten that part, I might have been typecast.

Danny DeVito - Martin Weir

“There's a time to shirk, and a time to work.”
Danny DeVito - Bobby Ciaro

“My father used to say that a man can never outdo a woman when it comes to love and revenge.”
Danny DeVito - Gavin D'Amato

“I love money. I love money more than the things it can buy. There's only one thing I love more than money. You know what that is? Other people's money.”
Danny DeVito - Lawrence Garfield

“No kid, giving up is for rookies. I came back because I'm not quitting on you. I'm willing to go the distance. How about you?”

Danny DeVito - Phil

“- Ralph: The boat blew up.
- Jack: My boat blew up?
- Ralph: The boat blew up!
- Jack: Everything's gone.
- Ralph: Who are you? The prince of darkness? Don't you got any friends?”
Danny DeVito - Ralph
Michael Douglas - Jack

“I had to live with that squealing, corpulent little toad all these years. God, I hate that woman. I hate the way she licks stamps! I hate her furniture! And I hate that little sound she makes when she sleeps.”

Danny DeVito - Sam Stone