Danny DeVito movie quotes

“You're insane, but you might also be brilliant.”

Danny DeVito - George Shapiro

“- Meg: Phil! Phil, Hercules needs your help.
- Phil: What does he need me for when he's got friends like you?
- Meg: He won't listen to me.
- Phil: Good! He's finally learned something.”
Susan Egan - Meg
Danny DeVito - Phil

“I've just financialized the problem, and you've just become more trouble than you're worth.”

Danny DeVito - Mickey Bergman

- Dr. Alex Hesse: I've noticed that the side effects of pregnancy are greatly amplified... With the dosage of Expectane that l've required. The morning sickness, the mood swings. Sleepiness, sexual appetite.
- Dr. Larry Arbogast: Sexual appetite?
- Dr. Alex Hesse: Yesterday, just scooping the middle out of a honeydew melon gave me a... a "Steifen".
Arnold Schwarzenegger - Dr. Alex Hesse
Danny DeVito - Dr. Larry Arbogast

“- The Penguin: Check it out. We're gonna disassemble his Batmobile and turn it into an H-bomb on wheels.
- Catwoman: No, no, he'd have even more power as a martyr. To destroy Batman, we must first turn him into what he hates the most. Namely us.”
Danny DeVito - Penguin
Michelle Pfeiffer - Catwoman

“When capitalism gets f - -ed up, the communists come back. They're waiting in the bushes. First thing they do is shoot the lawyers.”
Danny DeVito - Lawrence Garfield

“Hello? Debbie? Yeah, Debbie's here, who's this? Well, Ralph, uh, Debbie can't talk right now, my dick's in her mouth. How about if I have her call you back later when I'm done? ...I love wrong numbers.”

Danny DeVito - Sam Stone

“I've never taught before and you've never thought before. So good luck to all of us.”

Danny DeVito - Bill Rago

“There is no sympathy for the working man in this country.”
Danny DeVito - Ernest Tilley

“Why is there always someone who brings eggs and tomatoes to a speech?”

Danny DeVito - Penguin

- Momma: Owen! Food!
- Owen: In a minute, momma.
- Momma: Don't you "in a minute, momma" me! Get off your fat little ass or I'll break it for you! I want two soft-boiled eggs, white toast, and some of that grape jelly goddammit! And don't burn the toast!
- Owen: Kill her, Larry.
Anne Ramsey - Momma
Danny DeVito - Owen

- Fat Clown: Penguin... I mean, killing sleeping children. Isn't it that a little, uh...
- The Penguin: No! It's a lot "uh"!
Travis McKenna - Fat Clown
Danny DeVito - Penguin

“- Bobby Ciaro: He wants to know what you're scared of.
- Jimmy Hoffa: Tell him it's none of his fucking business.”
Danny DeVito - Bobby Ciaro
Jack Nicholson - James R. Hoffa

“You wanna conquer the world, you're going to need lawyers, right?”

Danny DeVito - Rude Gambler

- Pvt. Jamaal Montgomery: You can't say that. That is a diss. I ain't no ox moron.
- Bill Rago: No, no, no not “ox moron”, schmuck! Oxymoron.

Kadeem Hardison - Pvt. Jamaal Montgomery
Danny DeVito - Bill Rago

“We're at a crossroads, can you feel it? It's dark down there and there are things nobody wants to meet in the dark. Whether we'll come out on the other side, hating everything and everybody, I don't know.”
Danny DeVito - John Leary

“- Jack Leary: Nothing is alright!
- John Leary: Then we're gonna make it alright.”
Robert J. Steinmiller Jr. - Jack Leary
Danny DeVito - John Leary

"What do you call 500 lawyers at the bottom of the ocean? An excellent start”. I used to resent jokes like that. Now I see them as simple truths.
Danny DeVito - Gavin D'Amato

“- Martin Weir: And I'm wondering: how did it all slip away?
- Karen Flores: Well, it didn't slip away, Martin. You did, when you went off to fuck Nicky at my birthday party.
- Martin Weir: Yeah, that was a good party.”

Danny DeVito - Martin Weir
Rene Russo - Karen Flores

“You have to look inside and ask this question: who are you trying to entertain - the audience or yourself?”

Danny DeVito - George Shapiro

“- Kate Sullivan: For someone who has nothing nice to say about lawyers, you certainly have plenty of them around.
- Lawrence Garfield: They're like nuclear warheads. They have theirs, so I have mine. Once you use them, they fuck up everything.”
Penelope Ann Miller - Kate Sullivan
Danny DeVito - Lawrence Garfield

“- Vincent Benedict: Money talks and bullshit walks!
- Julius Benedict: How can bullshit walk?”
Danny DeVito - Vincent Benedict
Arnold Schwarzenegger - Julius Benedict

“- The Penguin: You're just jealous because I'm a genuine freak and you have to wear a mask!
- Batman: You might be right.”
Danny DeVito - Penguin
Michael Keaton - Batman

“Jackie, my heart's beginning to beat with the monster's heart.”

Danny DeVito - John Leary

“- Kate Sullivan: Rumor has it you got balls.
- Lawrence Garfield: I've been trying to show you for weeks.”
Penelope Ann Miller - Kate Sullivan
Danny DeVito - Lawrence Garfield