Jack Nicholson movie quotes

“- Daryl Van Horne: You haven't seen any snowy egrets around here, have you?
- Alexandra Medford: No.
- Daryl Van Horne: Of course, I wouldn't know a snowy egret if I were pissing on one. Lunch?
- Alexandra Medford: I think it's a little late in the season.
- Daryl Van Horne: For lunch?
- Alexandra Medford: No, pissing on birds.”
Jack Nicholson - Daryl Van Horne
Cher - Alexandra Medford

“- Walsh: Does that mean he wants you to prove your own client is guilty of murder?
- Jake Gittes: Yeah.
- Walsh: Well, is that ethical?
- Jake Gittes: Larry, he's a lawyer.”
Joe Mantell - Walsh
Jack Nicholson - Jake Gittes

“If you were mine, I wouldn't share you with anybody or anything. It'd be just you and me. We'd be the center of it all. I know it would feel a lot more like love than being left alone with your work.”

Jack Nicholson - Eugene O'Neill

“- Francis Phelan: I'd like to buy this shirt from you. Will you take two bits for it?
- Rosskam: Why does a bum need a clean shirt?
- Francis Phelan: Clothes make the man, they say.
- Rosskam: Tidy bum. Sensitive, tidy bum I got on my wagon.”
Jack Nicholson - Francis Phelan
Hy Anzell - Rosskam

“I'm gonna give ya a piece of advice. Don't ask for something if it's a burden to ya if ya get it.”
Jack Nicholson - James R. Hoffa

“What I do for a living may not be very reputable... but I am. In this town I'm the leper with the most fingers.”

Jack Nicholson - Jake Gittes

“I've been offered a choice between no job and a job no one would want.”
Jack Nicholson - Will Randall

“- Garrett Breedlove: You're just going to have to trust me about this one thing. You need a lot of drinks.
- Aurora Greenway: To break the ice?
- Garrett Breedlove: To kill the bug that you have up your ass.”
Jack Nicholson - Garrett Breedlove
Shirley MacLaine - Aurora Greenway

“Here I am, sitting in the center of a lot of wealth, the escalation in crime couldn't be better, and I'm not turning a damn nickel on it!”
Jack Nicholson - Harry Bliss

“I'll never forget you, Hermione. You was the first woman I didn't have to pay for.”
Jack Nicholson - Henry Lloyd Moon

“- Bruce Wayne: I know who you are. Let me tell you about this guy I know, Jack. Mean kid. Bad seed. Hurt people.
- Joker: I like him already.”
Michael Keaton - Bruce Wayne
Jack Nicholson - Joker

- Batman: You killed my parents.
- Joker: What? What? What are you talking about?
- Batman: I made you, you made me first.
- Joker: Hey, bat-brain, I mean, I was a kid when I killed your parents. I mean, I say "I made you" you gotta say "you made me". I mean, how childish can you get?
Michael Keaton - Batman
Jack Nicholson - Joker

“I made a promise. You're old enough to remember when that meant something...”

Jack Nicholson - Jerry Black

“I'd been thinkin' about Mars when there wasn't no Mars.”
Jack Nicholson - Art Land

“- Receptionist: How do you write women so well?
- Melvin Udall: I think of a man, and I take away reason and accountability.”
Julie Benz - Receptionist
Jack Nicholson - Melvin Udall

“I'm the only guy who knows what in the hell I'm doing!”
Jack Nicholson - Harry Bliss

“- Joker: Tell me something, my friend. You ever dance with the devil in the pale moonlight?
- Bruce Wayne: What?
- Joker: I always ask that of all my prey. I just... like the sound of it. [shoots him]”
Jack Nicholson - Joker
Michael Keaton - Bruce Wayne

“I want the people to know that they still have 2 out of 3 branches of the government working for them, and that ain't bad.”
Jack Nicholson - President James Dale

“What is that, some sort of Latin concept, kill the one you love?”
Jack Nicholson - Alex

- Don Corrado Prizzi: Charley, you swore an oath of blood, my blood and yours, that you would always put the family before anything else in your life. We are calling on you to keep that sacred oath.
- Charley Partanna: Irene is my family. She's my wife.
- Angelo "Pop" Partanna: Charley, she is a woman you have known only for a few weeks. She is... (continue)(continue reading)
William Hickey - Don Corrado Prizzi
Jack Nicholson - Charley Partanna
John Randolph - Angelo "Pop" Partanna

“Stay in this business long enough and every street leads to a place you'd like to forget, every case brings back memories of what you should have done and what might have been, and every skirt reminds you of another woman... or, if you've got it bad enough, the same woman.”

Jack Nicholson - Jake Gittes

- Rotelli: What if we say "no"?
- Joker: Well, Tony, nobody wants a war. If we can't do business, why, we'll just shake hands and that'll be it.
- Rotelli: Yeah?
- Joker: Yeah.
[Rotelli shakes hands with Joker and starts to get electrocuted]
Edwin Craig - Rotelli
Jack Nicholson - Joker

“You wouldn't hit a guy with glasses on, would you? Huh?
[Batman punches him]”

Jack Nicholson - Joker

“- Jack Torrance: Wendy, let me explain something to you. Whenever you come in here and interrupt me, you're breaking my concentration. You're distracting me. And it will then take me time to get back to where I was. You understand?
- Wendy Torrance: Yeah.
- Jack Torrance: Now, we're going to make a new rule. When you come in here and you hear me...” (continue)(continue reading)
Jack Nicholson - Jack Torrance
Shelley Duvall - Wendy Torrance

“- Stuart Ullman: Physically, it's not a very demanding job. The only thing that can get a bit trying up here during the winter is, uh, a tremendous sense of isolation.
- Jack Torrance: Well, that just happens to be exactly what I'm looking for. I'm outlining a new writing project and, uh, five months of peace is just what I want.”
Barry Nelson - Ullman
Jack Nicholson - Jack Torrance