Jesse Eisenberg movie quotes

“To criticize Facebook is to criticize the telephone.”
Jesse Eisenberg

“- Tallahassee: Rules are for pussies, nothing personal.
- Columbus: How could that not be personal? That’s like my whole thing.
- Tallahassee: Yeah, you’re right. It was personal.”
Woody Harrelson - Tallahassee
Jesse Eisenberg - Columbus

“- J. Daniel Atlas: What is magic? Magic is deception, but deception designed to delight, to entertain, to inspire. It is about belief. Faith.
- Henley Reeves: Trust.
- Merritt McKinney: Without those qualities, magic as an art form would no longer exist.
- Henley Reeves: But what happens if these qualities are not used for their higher purpose?...” (continue)(continue reading)
Jesse Eisenberg - J. Daniel Atlas
Isla Fisher - Henley Reeves
Woody Harrelson - Merritt McKinney

“The bell cannot be unrung.”
Jesse Eisenberg - Lex Luthor

“The closer you think you are, the less you'll actually see.”
Jesse Eisenberg - J. Daniel Atlas

“I write all the time because I'm lonely. When you're acting, you're working every day all day. But then you have long amounts of time off.”
Jesse Eisenberg

“Welcome to Zombieland. Life is about more than just survival. We were a family. Dysfunctional, sure, but what family isn’t.”
Jesse Eisenberg - Columbus

“- Blu: What's so wrong with humans?
- Roberto: Oh they lure you in... they trap you... they destroy your mind!”
Jesse Eisenberg - Blu
Bruno Mars - Roberto

“- Lois Lane: You're psychotic.
- Lex Luthor: That is a three syllable word for any thought too big for little minds.”
Amy Adams - Lois Lane
Jesse Eisenberg - Lex Luthor

“Every boy's special lady is his mother... Martha, Martha, Martha... Now, the mother of a flying demon must be a witch. The punishment for witches, what is that? That's right. Death by fire.”

Jesse Eisenberg - Lex Luthor

“If God is all-powerful, He cannot be all good. And if He is all good, then He cannot be all-powerful.”
Jesse Eisenberg - Lex Luthor

“I used to avoid people like they were zombies before they were zombies. Now that they are all now zombies, I kinda miss people.”
Jesse Eisenberg - Columbus

“- Merritt McKinney: I'm just trying to create the space for wisdom.
- J. Daniel Atlas: Okay, so you're like Buddha, if he wasn't so enlightened.
- Merritt McKinney: And you're like Jesus, if he was arrogant and all of his miracles were fake.”
Woody Harrelson - Merritt McKinney
Jesse Eisenberg - J. Daniel Atlas

“People want to go online and check out their friends, so why not build a website that offers that? Eduardo, I'm not talking about a dating site, I'm talking about taking the entire social experience of college and putting it online.”
Jesse Eisenberg - Mark Zuckerberg

“- Rose: This is some serious proposal that you're doing. You're a sensitive kid.
- Mike Howell: Well, I love her.
- Rose: You gotta give it all when you love her like that. Know what I'm saying? Want to get drunk and get some booty in your face?
- Mike Howell: It's 8:15 in the morning.”

John Leguizamo - Rose
Jesse Eisenberg - Mike Howell

“The bittersweet pain among men is having knowledge with no power.”
Jesse Eisenberg - Lex Luthor

“Do you know the oldest lie in America, Senator? It's that power can be innocent.”
Jesse Eisenberg - Lex Luthor

“The ability to make money doesn't impress anybody around here.”
Jesse Eisenberg - Mark Zuckerberg

“- Adrian Yates: Uh, your girlfriend's here. Would you ever like to see her alive again?
- Mike Howell: I don't know.
- Adrian Yates: So if I just took out my gun and blew her fucking face off, you'd be cool with that?
- Mike Howell: No, that wouldn't be cool. Is she really there with you?
- Phoebe: Mikey? I'm sorry. But I'm the tree. I've been...” (continue)(continue reading)
Christopher Grace - Adrian yates
Jesse Eisenberg - Mike Howell
Kristen Stewart - Phoebe Larson

“I could tell she knew what I was feeling.”
Jesse Eisenberg - Columbus

- Adrian Yates: Where do you want to begin?
- Mike Howell: [thinking, seeing flashbacks] Dustpan. Spoon. Noodles. Bear. Frying pan. Fire. Apollo Ape. "Marry Me". Where did it all begin? Okay, it started three days ago, in the town of Liman, West Virginia. It's where I lived with my girlfriend, Phoebe. She is the only good thing that's ever... (continue)(continue reading)

Christopher Grace - Adrian Yates
Jesse Eisenberg - Mike Howell

“- Mike Howell: Yo, Phoebe, where are we going?
- Phoebe: We are leaving. We are getting the fuck out of town!
- Mike Howell: No, I can't leave town. You know that.
- Phoebe: Well, you didn't have people trying to kill you before, I was thinking maybe that could motivate us here.
- Mike Howell: Okay, fine, so where do you want to go?”
Jesse Eisenberg - Mike Howell
Kristen Stewart - Phoebe Larson

“- Jewel: For a bird from Minnesota, you've got some moves.
- Blu: Oh, that wasn't a move, it was an accident. But I accept the compliment.”
Anne Hathaway - Jewel
Jesse Eisenberg - Blu

“We were the perfect fucked-up couple. She was perfect, and I was the fuck-up. And we were really, really happy. I wanted to make it forever, so I saved up for the perfect ring. And I planned the perfect romantic trip to surprise her. And then I fucked that up too.”

Jesse Eisenberg - Mike Howell

“What is magic? Focused deception. But deception meant to entertain.”
Jesse Eisenberg - J. Daniel Atlas