Jim Belushi movie quotes

“You know what your problem is? Your face. Come on, you're too good-looking. Girls go out with you and get nervous. They feel dumpy, they don't want to compete. They want a guy like... like me. A guy who'll make them look good. A basic Neanderthal type. The swarthy type. A man's man.”
Jim Belushi - Bernie

“- Mall Santa: That'll be three hundred.
- Howard Langston: Dollars?
- Mall Santa: No, chocolate kisses; yes, dollars!
- Howard Langston: I can't believe this, whatever happened to your lofty ideas huh? I though you're doing all this for the kids.
- Mall Santa: Well sure, but I don't see why we can't pick up a little loose change in the process.”

Jim Belushi - Mall Santa
Arnold Schwarzenegger - Howard Langston

“- Art Ridzik: Tell me something, Captain. If you've got such a fucking paradise over there, how come you're up the same creek as we are with heroin and cocaine?
- Ivan Danko: Chinese find way. Right after revolution, they round up all drug dealers, all drug addicts, take them to public square, and shoot them in back of head.
- Art Ridzik: Ah,...” (continue)(continue reading)

Jim Belushi - Art Ridzik
Arnold Schwarzenegger - Ivan Danko

“- Joan: And you are a schizophrenic, psychopathic, maladjusted social misfit who is clearly in the middle of a very deep homosexual panic.
- Bernie: So, you want to dance or what?”
Elizabeth Perkins - Joan
Jim Belushi - Bernie

“- Victor Duncan: Why don't you do yourself a favor and go back to your white-bread, suburban, cesspool land while you still have a chance?
- Rick Latimer: I can't.”
Michael Wright - Victor Duncan
Jim Belushi - Rick Latimer

“- Cynthia Webb: Isn't this breaking and entering?
- Divinci: I don't know, I'm homicide, we don't learn that stuff.”

Lela Rochon - Cynthia Webb
Jim Belushi - Det. Frank Divinci

“- Carolina: I’m marked. They’re going to kill me.
- Humpty: That’s what you get when you marry a gangster.”
Juno Temple - Carolina
Jim Belushi - Humpty

“- Mike: You'll see. Things have changed, Larry. You have to take the bad with the good. You didn't think everything was gonna be perfect, did you?
- Larry Burrows: Well, I suppose not.
- Mike: This is your life, Larry. Learn to enjoy what you've got.”
Sir Michael Caine - Mike
Jim Belushi - Larry Burrows

“- Hubie: Everybody knows that penguins can't fly!
- Rocko: You're wrong! You are dead wrong! Our ancestors flew! They gave us wings when we can't fly?! I mean, I mean whose idea of a cruel joke is this?”
Martin Hayter Short - Hubie
Jim Belushi - Rocko

“The harder you hit me the more I'll know you love me.”
Jim Belushi - Bill Dancer

“- Tyler Dayton: [back from the zoo] And then we went to see the gorillas and Mommy said it was you.
- Megan Dayton: I did not!
- Joe Dayton: Oh, really? Did you go to see the elephants?
- Megan Dayton: Watch it, Joe.”
Tyler Spitzer - Tyler Dayton
Bonnie Hunt - Megan Dayton
Jim Belushi - Joe Dayton

“Can you believe that a straight man to a chimpanzee is going to be the next President of the United States? I mean, doesn't that depress you?”

Jim Belushi - Dr. Rock

“- Jake Phillips: What is a fine, white-bread boy like you doing in a place like this?
- Rick Latimer: Keeping my warm ass planted in this chair.”

Louis Gossett Jr. - Jake Phillips
Jim Belushi - Rick Latimer

“- Tracy: Do you know you have an animal growing out of your pants?
- Dooley: Thanks, hon. I also have a dog here.”
Mel Harris - Tracy
Jim Belushi - Dooley

“- Art Ridzik: Captain Danko, congratulations. You are now the proud owner of the most powerful handgun in the world.
- Ivan Danko: Soviet Patparine, nine-point-two milimeter, is world's most powerful handgun.
- Art Ridzik: Oh, come on, everybody knows the .44 Magnum is the big boy on the block. Why do you think Dirty Harry uses it?
- Ivan Danko:...” (continue)(continue reading)
Jim Belushi - Art Ridzik
Arnold Schwarzenegger - Ivan Danko

“- Bernie: Was that the chick from last night?
- Danny: Yeah, I picked up the phone and she was already on the line.
- Bernie: Yeah, right. Pull this leg and it plays jingle bells.”
Jim Belushi - Bernie
Demi Moore - Debbie

“- Ivan Danko: I do not understand this sport.
- Art Ridzik: You're not supposed to, it's completely American.
- Ivan Danko: We play baseball now in Soviet Union.
- Art Ridzik: Are you kidding me? This is our national pastime!”
Arnold Schwarzenegger - Ivan Danko
Jim Belushi - Art Ridzik

“- Joan: I'm a neurosurgeon, you?
- Bernie: I'm a prizefighter. Do you know much about boxing?
- Joan: No.
- Bernie: I'm the heavyweight champion of the world.”
Elizabeth Perkins - Joan
Jim Belushi - Bernie

“Lighten up! Have some courage. Brave it through a little bit. Look, stoneface; knives only hurt if they go through you. Urine only smells if you don't clean it up.”

Jim Belushi - Rick Latimer

“We're the teachers, and in our classroom two and two can add up to five if we say it does.”
Jim Belushi - Det. Frank Divinci

“- Detective Rodriguez: I can make your life miserable, that's what I can do.
- Vic: Look at me. Am I married to a supermodel? Do I look strikingly handsome? Have I got a job at IBM and a swanky bachelor pad? No, no, and no! I loan big money to people like you who can't control their urge to blow it all gambling; Then I stay awake half the night...” (continue)(continue reading)
2Pac - Det. Rodriguez
Jim Belushi - Det. Frank Divinci

- Stevie "The Rose" Rosellini: You mean like a dame?
- Tony Greco: Well, yeah, like a dame. I guess you could say a dame.
- Stevie "The Rose" Rosellini: How about like a chick?
- Tony Greco: No, she didn't look like a chick. She looked more like a broad. That's why I said a broad.
- Stevie "The Rose" Rosellini: Oh yeah, that helps me. You're... (continue)(continue reading)

Jim Belushi - Stevie "The Rose" Rosellini
Kyle Chandler - Tony Greco

“Vegas is Sin City. It really gives you a feeling of looseness and anything can go.”
Jim Belushi

“I like to consider myself a star - a star, that when you look in the sky, it's always there.”
Jim Belushi

“Obama's sensible... he's just a reasonable, sensible human being.”
Jim Belushi