Joe Pesci movie quotes

“That black book's a joke. It's only got two names in it for the whole country. And one of them's still Al Capone.”
Joe Pesci - Nicky Santoro

“- Leo Getz: Leo Getz, private investigator.
- Martin Riggs: Private investigator? Yes, Mr. Getz, I was just wondering if you'd be willing to investigate my privates.
- Leo Getz: Investigate what?
- Martin Riggs: My privates, you stupid shit.”

Joe Pesci - Leo Getz
Mel Gibson - Martin Riggs

“- Simon Wilder: When it comes to relationships, everyone's a used car salesman.
- Montgomery 'Monty' Kessler: Is that your philosophy? Don't trust anyone.
- Simon Wilder: No, you've got to trust people. But you can't believe in the warranty.”
Joe Pesci - Simon Wilder
Brendan Fraser - Montgomery 'Monty' Kessler

“- Martin Riggs: Police! Open up!
- Leo Getz: How do I know it's the police?
- Martin Riggs: After I shoot you through the door, you can examine the bullet. Open up!”
Mel Gibson - Martin Riggs
Joe Pesci - Leo Getz

“I don't want to have to put you kids through hell so let me tell you what's going to happen. First I'm gonna hurt you. Then you're gonna try to be brave. Then I'm gonna hurt you again, then you're gonna tell me everything.”
Joe Pesci - Tommy

“- Jake La Motta: Did you fuck my wife?
- Joey LaMotta: How do you ask me that? I'm your brother and you ask me that? Where do you get you're balls big enough to ask me that?
- Jake La Motta: You're very smart, Joey. You're giving me a lot of answers, but you ain't giving me the right answer.”
Robert De Niro - Jake La Motta
Joe Pesci - Joey

“Everybody loves to have their picture took. Everybody.”
Joe Pesci - Leon Bernstein

“I had this pet frog, his name was Froggy. He was my best friend in the whole world. I didn't have a lot of friends. As a matter of fact. I had no friends, and I used to kiss the frog, too. I thought maybe, that it would turn into a princess since I was a boy, and it could be my mother. They told me that she left or something, and my father was...” (continue)(continue reading)
Joe Pesci - Leo Getz

“So, here are my options. Option a: I get my ass kicked, or option b: I kick your ass and collect the 200. I think I'm gonna go with option b: kickin' your ass and collecting $200.”
Joe Pesci - Vinny Gambini

“Notice how in the count room nobody ever seems to see anything. Somehow, somebody's always lookin' the other way. Now, look at these guys. They look busy, right? They're countin' money. Who wants to bother them? I mean, God forbid they should make a mistake and forget to steal.”

Joe Pesci - Nicky Santoro

“Who cares about the reward is right. Forget about the reward. Let's just take the $2 1/2 million in money and jewels. We're millionaires! Millionaires, Gus! We're rich!”

Joe Pesci - Joe Waters