John C. Reilly movie quotes

“- Tucker: Look, they use Canola oil, okay? You know what Canola oil is? You probably don't.
- Gilbert: No, no.
- Tucker:They probably don't sell it at Lamson Grocery.
- Gilbert:No.
- Tucker: It's cutting edge. It creates a crispier French fry and. . .
- Bobby: Well, that's...
- Tucker: And, er, a more unique product. And Burger Barn... Forget...” (continue)(continue reading)
John C. Reilly - Tucker Van Dyke
Johnny Depp - Gilbert Grape
Crispin Glover - Bobby McBurney

“- Ma Cox: I'm just so glad you learned to play the guitar so good... even without having a sense of smell!
- Dewey Cox: It's okay mama, I learned how to play by ear.”
Margo Martindale - Ma Cox
John C. Reilly - Dewey Cox

- Brennan Huff: Mom, I honestly thought I was gonna be raped for a second. He had the craziest look in his eyes. And at one point he said, "lets get it on".
- Dale Doback: That was about the fighting. I am so not a raper!
- Brennan Huff: Look, I didn't touch your drum set, okay?
- Dale Doback: I witnessed with my eyes your testicles touching my... (continue)(continue reading)
Will Ferrell - Brennan Huff
John C. Reilly - Dale Doback

“- Tucker: He drowned.
- Gilbert: You're kidding?
- Tucker: No. In that.
- Gilbert: Oh.
- Tucker: A kiddy pool. I don't get it.
- Gilbert: Wow.
- Tucker: It's like one foot deep. Weird, right?
- Gilbert: Yeah.
- Arnie: He drownded!”
John C. Reilly - Tucker Van Dyke
Johnny Depp - Gilbert Grape
Leonardo DiCaprio - Arnie Grape

- Ricky Bobby: From now on, you're the Magic Man and I'm El Diablo.
- Cal Naughton Jr.: What does “Diablo” mean?
- Ricky Bobby: It's like... Spanish for like a fighting chicken.
Will Ferrell - Ricky Bobby
John C. Reilly - Cal Naughton Jr.

“- Ricky Bobby: [to Jean Girard]I can't understand a word you've said the whole time.
- Cal Naughton Jr.: Did you eat some peanut butter or something?
- Ricky Bobby: Yeah, you sound like a dog with peanut butter on the roof of your mouth.
- Jean Girard: I think what you are hearing is my accent. I am French.”
Will Ferrell - Ricky Bobby
John C. Reilly - Cal Naughton Jr.
Sacha Baron Cohen - Jean Girard

“- Surge Protector: Anything to declare?
- Ralph: I hate you.
- Surge Protector: I get that a lot. Proceed.”
Phil Johnston - Surge Protector
John C. Reilly - Ralph

“- Dale Doback: Why do you have Randy Jackson's autograph on a martial arts weapon?
- Brennan Huff: 'Cause I bumped into him and all I had on me was this samurai sword. And you're not gonna not get Randy Jackson's autograph, right?
- Dale Doback: I would've done the exact same thing.”
John C. Reilly - Dale Doback
Will Ferrell - Brennan Huff

- Dale Doback: I work at a college as a janitor even though I feel like I'm smarter than most of the people who go there. Sometimes I see an equation written on a blackboard like half an equation and... I just figure it out.
- Male Therapist: Is this "Good Will Hunting"?
- Dale Doback: No.
- Male Therapist: It sounds a lot like the plot of "Good... (continue)(continue reading)

John C. Reilly - Dale Doback
Ian Roberts - Male Therapist

“- Buck Bretherton: Well how 'bout that, a side we don't have to fix.
- Harry Hogge: [kicks that door panel] I don't want you sto be spoiled, Buck.”
John C. Reilly - Buck Bretherton
Robert Duvall - Harry Hogge

- Dale Doback: Why are you so sweaty?
- Brennan Huff: I was watching "Cops".
John C. Reilly - Dale Doback
Will Ferrell - Brennan Huff

“- Brennan Huff: This house is a fucking prison!
- Dale Doback: On Planet Bullshit!
- Brennan Huff: In the galaxy of This Sucks Camel Dicks!”
Will Ferrell - Brennan Huff
John C. Reilly - Dale Doback

“- Dr. Robert Doback: You have one month to find jobs or you're out on your asses. I will arrange interviews for Monday and you will go!
- Dale Doback: Dad, why are you talking to me like this? I'm your son.
- Dr. Robert Doback: I'm not buying that crap anymore!”
Richard Jenkins - Dr. Robert Doback
John C. Reilly - Dale Doback

“- Theo: Those stupid siamese glass cats you get us every year for Christmas! I don't want anymore siamese glass cats!
- Dewey Cox: The siamese cat is a symbol of nobility in Ancient Egypt.
- Sam: Fuck nobility!
- Dave: Fuck Ancient Egypt!
- Theo: Fuck cats!”
Chris Parnell - Theo
John C. Reilly - Dewey Cox
Tim Meadows - Sam
Matt Besser - Dave

“- Brennan Huff: I remember my first beer.
- Dale Doback: That's so funny, the first time I heard that I laughed so hard I fell off my dinosaur.”
Will Ferrell - Brennan Huff
John C. Reilly - Dale Doback

“- Ricky Bobby: You can't have two number ones.
- Cal Naughton Jr.: Yeah, 'cause that would be eleven.”
Will Ferrell - Ricky Bobby
John C. Reilly - Cal Naughton Jr.

“- Sam: Get out of here, Dewey. You don't want no part of this shit.
- Dewey Cox: Whatch y'all doin' in here?
- Sam: We doin' pills. Uppers and downers. It's the logical next step for you.
- Dewey Cox: I want some of that shit!”
Tim Meadows - Sam
John C. Reilly - Dewey Cox

“- Edith: It's illegal to be married to two people at the same time, Dewey!
- Dewey Cox: What about if, if you're famous?”
Kristen Wiig - Edith
John C. Reilly - Dewey Cox

“- Dewey Cox: Edith, I am starting to think... that maybe you don't believe in me.
- Edith: I do believe in you. I just know you're gonna fail.”
John C. Reilly - Dewey Cox
Kristen Wiig - Edith

“- Justine Last: Couple that prays together, stays together.
- Phil Last: I heard it was the couple that lays together, stays together.
- Justine Last: Well, you've heard wrong.”
Jennifer Aniston - Justine Last
John C. Reilly - Phil Last

“- Dale Doback: Okay, I'll be honest with you. I did fart.
- Sporting Goods Manager: Is that onion? Onion and... Onion and ketchup. It stinks. And this is a small room.”
John C. Reilly - Dale Doback
Seth Rogen - Sporting Goods Manager

“- Miss Schermerhorn: Is that man drunk?
- Happy Jack Mulraney: Och, dead as Good Friday, miss.”
Barbara Bouchet - Mrs. Schermerhorn
John C. Reilly - Happy Jack Mulraney

“It makes no difference who you are, no matter how much training you got and the tougher guy you might be. When you're at the wrong spot at the wrong time, you gonna get it.”
John C. Reilly - Sgt. Storm

“- Happy Jack Mulraney: I'm paid to uphold the law.
- Bill 'The Butcher' Cutting: What in Heaven's name are you talking about?”
John C. Reilly - Happy Jack Mulraney
Daniel Day-Lewis - Bill 'The Butcher' Cutting

“The law is the law. And heck if I'm gonna break it. You can forgive someone. Well, that's the tough part. What can we forgive? Tough part of the job. Tough part of walking down the street.”
John C. Reilly - Officer Jim Kurring