John Candy movie quotes

“- Chet: You bastard! You bastard!
- Roman: I think he's saying go faster.”

John Candy - Chet Ripley
Dan Aykroyd - Roman Craig

“Throw another shrimp on the barbie, girls, because here I come!”
John Candy - Wilbur

“It's not that we're afraid, far from it, it's just that we've got this thing about death... It's not us!”
John Candy - Barf

“- Neal Page: What do you think? You think this is a good combination?
- Del Griffith: No, probably not.”

Steve Martin - Neal Page
John Candy - Del Griffith

“- Miles Russell: You have much more hair in your nose than my dad.
- Buck Russell: How nice of you to notice.
- Miles Russell: I'm a kid, that's my job.”
Macaulay Culkin - Miles Russell
John Candy - Buck Russell

“- Irv: Dig where I'm coming from. I'm coming from two gold medals. I'm coming from nine world records in both the two and four-man events. I'm coming from ten years of intense competition with the best athletes in the world.
- Sanka Coffie: That's a hell of a place to be coming from!”
John Candy - Irv
Doug E. Doug - Sanka Coffie

“- Lasky, Guard at Walleyworld: Has your father ever killed anyone?
- Rusty Griswold: Just a dog. Oh and my Aunt Edna.”
John Candy - Lasky, Guard at Walleyworld
Anthony Michael Hall - Rusty Griswold

“- Salvatore Buonarte: Let him fall.
- Danny Muldoon: To the ground?
- Salvatore Buonarte: Yeah!
- Danny Muldoon: A fall like that could kill a guy!
- Salvatore Buonarte: He's dead for Chrissake! He's not gonna mind!”

Jim Belushi - Salvatore Buonarte
John Candy - Danny Muldoon

Welcome to "albatross air: a fair fare from here to there". You get it? "A fair fare". It's a play on... never mind.
John Candy - Wilbur

“My reputation precedes me. Otherwise I'd be late for all my appointments.”
John Candy - Harry Crumb

“- Buck Russell: Hey, I stopped smoking cigarettes.
- Cindy Russell: Oh, good.
- Buck Russell: Isn't that something? I'm on to cigars now. I'm on to a five-year plan. I eliminated cigarettes, then I go to cigars, then I go to pipes, then I go to chewing tobacco, then I'm on to that nicotine gum.”
John Candy - Buck Russell
Elaine Bromka - Cindy Russell

“A book cover is only skin deep. Sometimes you have to read every word to get the whole picture.”
John Candy - Harry Crumb

“- Fausto Squiriniszu: Wait, I'm entitled to one phone call.
- Dennis: Surely, and you're more than welcome to make one, if we had a phone.”
Taylor Negron - Fausto Squiriniszu
John Candy - Dennis

“I'm only gonna say this once. I'm a special officer. You have to get me to the corner of 83rd and Aviation in 10 minutes... otherwise, two wonderful people that I know are gonna die.”

John Candy - Frank Dooley

“- Danny Muldoon: You came home late. You were arguing and I woke up. I was scared. I didn't know what was going on, so I listened in at the door.
- Rose Muldoon: A little spy.
- Danny Muldoon: Come on, I was only 12.
- Rose Muldoon: Spy!”

John Candy - Danny Muldoon
Maureen O'Hara - Rose Muldoon

“- The Cowboy: Slim, I ain't never seen a handgun that big before.
- Frank Dooley: Yeah, it's a 50 caliber. They used to use it to hunt buffalo with... up close! It's only legal in two states. And this isn't one of them.”
Steve Railsback - The Cowboy
John Candy - Frank Dooley

“- Dennis: Would you watch things around here for a minute? I'm gonna go for a smoke.
- Miss Purdah: Go for a smoke? But, Dennis, they've got guns, drugs! One of 'em tried to kill ya! I'm stayin' to watch!”

John Candy - Dennis
Valri Bromfield - Miss Purdah

“- Harry Crumb: I've had my eye on you for a while, lady. I knew you were up to something, and here's my proof: it was you who was having an affair with your husband all along!
- Mrs. MacIntyre: What?
- Harry Crumb: I've uncovered some pretty low schemes in my time. But secretly hiring me to take pornographic pictures of you and your sleazeball...” (continue)(continue reading)

John Candy - Harry Crumb
Michele Goodger - Mrs. MacIntyre

“- Miss Bianca: Oh, Captain. Is this a non-stop flight to Australia?
- Wilbur: Well, uh, not exactly. No. I can definitely say no. We're gonna have to make connections with a bigger bird. Non-stop? Who do I look like, Charles Lindbergh?”
Eva Gabor - Miss Bianca
John Candy - Wilbur

“- Roman: How about the gourmet here, you know what he wanted? Hotdogs! You know what they make those things out of, Chet? You know? Lips and assholes!
- Chet: Hahaha I guess I'm old-fashioned I like assholes.
- Roman: Ha and I like lips! kisses Connie's lips If I could market lips like those I would make another million.”
Dan Aykroyd - Roman Craig
John Candy - Chet Ripley

“Earth women who experience sexual ecstasy with mechanical assistance always tend to feel guilty!”

John Candy - Robot

“- Sam Sleaze: What seems to be the problem, officer? What's the charge?
- State Trooper: What about counterfeiting, extortion, fraud, impersonating a dentist, stealing an apple from a kid?
- Sam Sleaze: Oh, about that apple, officer, I can explain that. We was just holding it for a friend.
- State Trooper: You can tell that to the judge.”
Dave Thomas - Sam Sleaze
John Candy - State Trooper

“- Malachai: What has the Lord commanded?
- Isaac: In my dream the Lord did come to me, and He was a shape. It was He Who Walks Behind the Rows. And I did fall on my knees in terror, and hide my eyes, lest the fierceness of His face strike me dead!”
Courtney Gains - Malachai
John Candy - Isaac

“- Princess Vespa: Who are you?
- Barf: Barf!
- Dot Matrix: Not in here, mister! This is a Mercedes!”
Daphne Zuniga - Princess Vespa
John Candy - Barf
Lorene Yarnell Jansson - Dot Matrix

“- Lasky, Guard at Walleyworld: That's not a real gun, is it Clark?
- Clark Griswold: Are you kidding? This is a Magnum P.I.
- Lasky, Guard at Walleyworld: It's a BB gun!
- Clark Griswold: Don't tempt me. I could put an eye out with this thing.
- Lasky, Guard at Walleyworld: You couldn't even break the skin with that thing.
- Clark Griswold: Yeah...” (continue)(continue reading)
John Candy - Lasky, Guard at Walleyworld
Chevy Chase - Clark Griswold