Michael Keaton movie quotes

“You can vote too, it's America.”

Michael Keaton - Billy Caufield

“- Young Birdman: You could jump right back into that suit if you wanted to. We're not dead.
- Riggan: Look at me. Look at this. Look, look, look! I look like a turkey with leukemia!”
Benjamin Kanes - Young Birdman
Michael Keaton - Riggan

“Lesley: He quit... or got fired.
Riggan: Which is it, quit or fired?
Lesley: Well, with Mike it's usually both.”

Naomi Watts - Lesley
Michael Keaton - Riggan

“- Ben Bradlee Jr.: So it's thirteen priests?
- Sacha Pfeiffer: Yeah.
- Walter 'Robby' Robinson: Looks that way.
- Ben Bradlee Jr.: Holy shit.”
John Slattery - Ben Bradlee Jr.
Rachel McAdams - Sacha Pfeiffer
Michael Keaton - Walter 'Robby' Robinson

“Bye-bye. And fuck you.”

Michael Keaton - Riggan

“- Billy Caufield: You guys need to pay up and get out of here.
- Drunk: Who the hell are you?
- Billy Caufield: I'm an escaped mental patient with a history of violence.”

Michael Keaton - Billy Caufield

- Riggan: Stop saying "we"! There is no "we"! I'm not fucking you! I'm Riggan fucking Thomson!
- Young Birdman: No, you're Birdman. Because without me, all that's left is you, a sad, selfish, mediocre actor, grasping at the last vestiges of his career.
Michael Keaton - Riggan
Benjamin Kanes - Young Birdman

“- Michael McDougal: What's with all the grunt work? I'm a columnist.
- Henry Hackett: You're not a columnist. You're a reporter who writes long.”
Randy Quaid - Michael McDougal
Michael Keaton - Henry Hackett

- Billy Caufield: Can we go now?
- Dr. Weitzman: Billy, every week you get up and say, "Can we go now?" And every week I tell you we haven't heard from Albert yet.
- Billy Caufield: Nobody's ever heard from Albert. I've had better conversations with cheese.
Michael Keaton - Billy Caufield
Dennis Boutsikaris - Dr. Weitzman

“People, they love blood. They love action. Not this talky, depressing, philosophical bullshit.”
Michael Keaton - Riggan

“- Frank Conner: My son needs a transplant!
- Peter McCabe: Yeah, well, I need a blowjob and a Martini. Looks like we're both gonna have to wait.”
Andy Garcia - Frank Conner
Michael Keaton - Peter McCabe

“- Bill Blazejowski: [picking up photo from desk] Hey Chuck? Who is this? Your wife?
- Chuck Lumley: Fiancée.
- Bill Blazejowski: Nice frame!”
Michael Keaton - Bill Blazejowski
Henry Winkler - Chuck Lumley

“- Julia: Shall we speak the unspoken language of love?
- Kevin: You mean the kind only dogs can hear?
- Julia: Yes, the very same.”
Geena Davis - Julia
Michael Keaton - Kevin

“- Ken: And this... well, this is where I live. It's got a disco, it's got a dune buggy, and a whole room just for trying on clothes.
- Barbie: You have everything!
- Ken: Everything... except someone to share it with...”

Michael Keaton - Ken
Jodi Benson - Barbie

“- Riggan: Fuck you!
- Young Birdman: No, fuck you, you coward. We grossed billions! You're ashamed of that? Billions!
- Riggan: And billions of flies eat shit every day! So what? Does that make it good? I don't know if you noticed, but that was 1992!”
Michael Keaton - Riggan
Benjamin Kanes - Young Birdman

“I'm the answer to a fucking Trivial Pursuit question.”

Michael Keaton - Riggan

“- Bob Jones: I'm looking for a miracle here, so...
- Mr. Ho: You believe in miracles?
- Bob Jones: I will if this works.”
Michael Keaton - Bob Jones
Haing S. Ngor - Mr. Ho

“- Jack McDermott: You told me you played for the New York Rangers.
- Billy Caufield: Are you saying I didn't?
- Dr. Weitzman: Attacking a referee on the ice doesn't make you a hockey player either.”
Peter Boyle - Jack McDermott
Michael Keaton - Billy Caufield
Dennis Boutsikaris - Dr. Weitzman

“- Richie: You guys use my name on this and I'll fucking find you. You understand?
- Henry Hackett: I got it. Police department source only. Promise, right?
- Richie: These kids? They didn't do it.”
Mike Sheehan - Richie
Michael Keaton - Henry Hackett

“- Oishi Kazihiro: None of you would last two days in management training.
- Hunt Stevenson: None of us would be dumb enough to stay two days.”
Gedde Watanabe - Oishi Kazihiro
Michael Keaton - Hunt Stevenson

“- Bernie White: You do have a problem, Henry. But it's your problem.
- Henry Hackett: Thanks, Bernie. You've been a big help.”
Robert Duvall - Bernie White
Michael Keaton - Henry Hackett

“Listen guys, I've got two jobs. I work here, and I have another job at Bed, Bath, and Beyond. I'm doing it to put a kid through NYU, so he can explore his bisexuality and become a DJ.”
Michael Keaton - Captain Gene Mauch

“They're lying. These people are completely pathological. They took a 1/2 year's rent from me, and they said I never paid them. They evicted me, they slandered me, they totally destroyed my credit. They physically assaulted me. They threatened my life. And now this. These people are parasites.”
Michael Keaton - Carter Hayes

“- Bernie White: I hate columnists! Why do I have all these columnists? I got political columnists, guest columnists... celebrity columnists - The only thing I don't have is a dead columnist. That's the kind I could really use.
- Henry Hackett: Right. Listen...
- Bernie White: We reek of opinions. What every columnist at this paper needs to do is...” (continue)(continue reading)
Robert Duvall - Bernie White
Michael Keaton - Henry Hackett

“- Henry Hackett: When did you get so paranoid?
- Michael McDougal: When they started plotting against me.”
Michael Keaton - Henry Hackett
Randy Quaid - Michael McDougal