Michael Keaton movie quotes

“- Janet: Are you completely psychotic?
- Henry Hackett: I have episodes. Nothing serious.”
Lynne Thigpen - Janet
Michael Keaton - Henry Hackett

“- Jack Butler: [Enters scene revving chainsaw] How ya doin'. You must be Ron Richardson. I'm - Jack Butler, nice to meetcha.
- Ron Richardson: Pleased to meet you.
- Jack Butler: Huh?
- Ron Richardson: I say I'm pleased...
- [Jack Turns chainsaw off]
- Ron Richardson: ...to meet you. I'm just waiting for Caroline.
- Jack Butler: Well, uh, you...” (continue)(continue reading)
Michael Keaton - Jack
Martin Mull - Ron

“- Joker: Tell me something, my friend. You ever dance with the devil in the pale moonlight?
- Bruce Wayne: What?
- Joker: I always ask that of all my prey. I just... like the sound of it. [shoots him]”
Jack Nicholson - Joker
Michael Keaton - Bruce Wayne

“The truth about our mother and Lloyd didn't comfort Jacey, because the truth seemed to him just as unfair as the lie he had always believed in.”
Michael Keaton - Narrator

“- Johnny Dangerously: I never should have picked a name like that. A name like that you gotta live up to. What's your last name?
- Hood: Binzerhoff.
- Johnny Dangerously: Binzerhoff? Perfect. Keep that name and you'll stay out of trouble.”
Michael Keaton - Johnny Dangerously
Russell Forte - Hood

“Restaurant security. Just a minor utensil violation. Go ahead, enjoy your dinner.”
Michael Keaton - Billy Caufield

“- Doug Kinney: I'm gonna buy you something.
- Doug Kinney: A chainsaw?
- Doug Kinney: Or a book.”
Michael Keaton - Doug Kinney
Michael Keaton - Doug Kinney

“- Martha Hackett: Why don't you just pour battery acid down your throat?
- Henry Hackett: No caffeine.”

Marisa Tomei - Martha Hackett
Michael Keaton - Henry Hackett

It'll help you to understand a word if you break it down, so let's do that now, shall we? "Pros"... it doesn't mean anything. Forget about that... "tit", I think we all know what that means. "Tu", kay two tit and "tion", of course, from the Latin "to shun"... "to say no", uh uh, "thank you anyway I don't want it", "to push away"... it doesn't... (continue)(continue reading)
Michael Keaton - Bill Blazejowski

“Ah, it's great to be young and insane!”
Michael Keaton - Billy Caufield

“Today's D-Day. Death day. I'm supposed to be dead today. From now on, I'm living on borrowed time.”
Michael Keaton - Bob Jones

“- Sergeant Vincente: You're not out of here in 30 seconds, you got a night in jail!
- Billy Caufield: What kind of bonehead cop would send four confessed mental patients back out in the streets?”
Brad Sullivan - Sergeant Vincente
Michael Keaton - Billy Caufield

“And you know for you kids out there who are thinkin' about smokin', don't start. And if you started, stop. Smokin' don't make you look tough kids. It makes you look stupid. If you gotta put something in your mouth, make it a stick of chewing gum. Sure, that’s what Johnny does.”
Michael Keaton - Johnny Dangerously

“Honey if you call and I'm not home I'll be at the gym or the gun club.”
Michael Keaton - Jack

“Sometimes you can just smell a horrendously shitty day on the way, can't you?”
Michael Keaton - Henry Hackett

“- Batman: I tried to save you.
- Catwoman: Seems like every woman you try to save ends up dead... or deeply resentful. Maybe you should retire.”
Michael Keaton - Batman
Michelle Pfeiffer - Catwoman

“- The Penguin: You're just jealous because I'm a genuine freak and you have to wear a mask!
- Batman: You might be right.”
Danny DeVito - Penguin
Michael Keaton - Batman

“You got those. I like those on a woman.”
Michael Keaton - Johnny Dangerously