Michael Keaton quotes
- From the movie: Clean and Sober
“- Daryl Poynter: What is it with you guys and food?
- Richard Dirks: Addicts are compulsive.” - From the movie: Night Shift
- From the movie: Clean and Sober
“- Darryl Poynter: I want you to leave now.
- Lenny: Fuck you.
- Darryl Poynter: Fuck me? Fuck me? No, fuck you asshole! You're in my house now! So you get the fuck out!” - From the movie: The Dream Team
- Jack McDermott: What about dinner? Who's gonna get us our dinner?
- Billy Caufield: "Who's gonna get us our...". Aren't you the same guy who changed water into wine? Huh? J.C.? Ain't the son of god good for a burger in his town? You get us something!
- Jack McDermott: That's not funny. You're a very disturbed young man.
- Billy Caufield: Man... (continue)(continue reading) - From the movie: Inventing the Abbotts
“My mother once told me that if the Abbotts didn't exist, my brother would have had to invent them.”
- From the movie: Multiplicity
“- Doug Kinney: We're gonna eat a dolphin!
- Doug Kinney: Hey! Lenny. You're not gonna eat a dolphin pal, you're gonna pet one.” - From the movie: The Dream Team
“- Henry Sikorsky: I'm the doctor until the doctor comes back!
- Billy Caufield: Okay, you be the doctor and I'll be the escaped mental patient, okay?” - From the movie: Night Shift
“What if you mix the mayonnaise in the can, with the tunafish? Or... hold it! Chuck! I got it! Take live tuna fish, and feed 'em mayonnaise! Oh this is great.”
- From the movie: The Paper
- Henry Hackett: Doesn't anybody say "good morning" any more?
- Carmen: I don't think so. - From the movie: The Other Guys
“Shake your dicks, this pissing contest is over!”
- From the movie: Multiplicity
“- Laura Kinney: [to Doug thinking he's her husband] Please, just tell me what it is that you want.
- Doug Kinney: I want Pizza.” - From the movie: The Dream Team
- From the movie: Desperate Measures
“Do you like school, Matt? I fucking hated every minute of it.”
- From the movie: The Paper
“A clipboard and a confident wave will get you into any building in the world!”
- From the movie: Desperate Measures
“I can't imagine a God that would care.”
- From the movie: Gung Ho
“- Oishi Kazihiro: In Japan, production in same sized factory is 40% higher.
- Saito: With superior quality.
- Hunt Stevenson: That's impossible. How can you guys work that fast?
- Oishi Kazihiro: Japanese worker is very loyal to company. Is very proud when company does well. Is ashamed when it does poorly.” - From the movie: Inventing the Abbotts
“The end of my innocence and childhood began in 1957. It is remarkable to me now just how little I knew then about the people around me. It took me years to figure out exactly what the truth was, especially given my brother's knack at inventing facts.”
- From the movie: Inventing the Abbotts
- From the movie: Mr. Mom
“- Alex: Wow, what a house!
- Jack Butler: Yeah, probably mortgaged to the eyeballs.
- Caroline: Not this one, his great grandfather - Commander Richardson - built it.
- Jack Butler: Eh... hand me down.” - From the movie: Desperate Measures
- From the movie: Batman Returns
“- Batman: Mistletoe can be deadly if you eat it.
- Catwoman: But a kiss can be even deadlier if you mean it. You're the second man who killed me this week, but I've got seven lives left.” - From the movie: Desperate Measures
“These cigarettes are stale. You tell that cop and his dead kid I won't stand for stale cigarettes.”
- From the movie: Gung Ho
“I'd rather have one of these cars that we made together, by hand. Your guys and my guys, together. You know why? Because those cars stand for something. Those cars stand for something pretty great. I'm proud of those cars. I'm taking one.”
- From the movie: Johnny Dangerously
“- Johnny Dangerously:Take it easy!
- Jocko Dundee: Take it easy? I'm standing here with my dork in my hand!”
Highlights