Steve Carrell movie quotes

“- Balthazar Bratt: You've ruined everything! And now it's time to die! Any last words, Gru!
- Gru: You know what? I got two words for you: dance fight!”
Trey Parker - Balthazar Bratt
Steve Carrell - Gru

“Good night, sleep tight, and don't let the bed bugs bite. Because there are literally thousands of them. Oh, and there's probably something in your closet.”
Steve Carrell - Gru

“You told me my father died of disappointment the day I was born!”

Steve Carrell - Gru

“- Dru: You ready to continue the family tradition, you and me?
- Gru: No... I left that life behind me.
- Dru: Just one heist?
- Gru: Mmm...”

Steve Carrell - Dru
Steve Carrell - Gru

“I'm going to find moral redemption at the roulette table.”
Steve Carrell - Mark Baum

“- Health Clinic Counselor: Now, there are ways of having sex without intercourse. Let's see, there are things like body rubbing or dry humping.
- Andy: You could dry hump.
- Health Clinic Counselor: There's masturbation.
- Andy: Masturbation. Play with yourself.
- Health Clinic Counselor: Mutual masturbation.
- Andy: Play with a friend.”
Nancy Carell - Health Clinic Counselor
Steve Carrell - Andy

“- Jane Burns: If you don't let me, I'll never learn.
- Dan Burns: But if I let you, you might not live.”

Alison Pill - Jane
Steve Carrell - Dan

Ultimately, I think you have to ask yourself "Is this person worth more to me than my pride"?

Steve Carrell - Doctor Feld

“All I'm saying is that until we understand that our enemies are also human beings we will never defeat them. Yes, they are bad guys, but that is what they do, not who they are.”
Steve Carrell - Maxwell Smart

“Your discomfort is hilarious!”

Steve Carrell - Dru

“What bothers me isn't that fraud is not nice. Or that fraud is mean. For fifteen thousand years, fraud and short sighted thinking have never, ever worked. Not once. Eventually you get caught, things go south. When the hell did we forget all that?”
Steve Carrell - Mark Baum

“Goes zero to 400 in three seconds, able to withstand a nuclear blast, armed to the teeth... Okay, that's pretty nice! And it's a hybrid.”

Steve Carrell - Dru

“Face it, Gru! Villainy is in your blood!”
Steve Carrell - Gru

“- Steven Goldstein: Hell! If you and I got married tomorrow, I'd be entitled to your benefits!
- Laurel Hester: Wait, is that a proposal?
- Steven Goldstein: Oh honey. I would marry you, but I wouldn't know what to do with your vagina.”
Steve Carrell - Steven Goldstein
Julianne Moore - Laurel Hester

“- Young Gru: Mom, someday, I'm going to go to the moon.
- Gru's Mom: I'm afraid you're too late, son. NASA isn't sending the monkeys anymore.”

Steve Carrell - Gru
Julie Andrews - Gru's Mom

“- Steven Goldstein: I am not a radical. I am a middle-class, Jewish homosexual from New Jersey. How about you, sweetheart?
- Dane Wells: I'm a straight, white, ex-Protestant, atheist cop. You okay with that, sweetheart?
- Steven Goldstein: I am. That is very hot.”
Steve Carrell - Steven Goldstein
Michael Shannon - Dane Wells

“Do you want the long version or the short version? And I have to warn you, the long version is in Aramaic.”
Steve Carrell - Uncle Arthur

“- Agent 99: Are you staring at my butt?
- Maxwell Smart: No, no, I... I was, but I'm not... I'm staring again.”
Anne Hathaway - Agent 99
Steve Carrell - Maxwell Smart

“- Agent 99: Did you see anything while I was dancing?
- Maxwell Smart: Just once, but I don't think you expected him to lift you so high.”
Anne Hathaway - Agent 99
Steve Carrell - Maxwell Smart

“- Paula: Andy. Have you ever heard of the term... 'Fuck Buddy'?
- Andy: No... what's that?
- Paula: Well, it's a special... friend... who you fuck.”
Jane Lynch - Paula
Steve Carrell - Andy

“- Mark Baum: It's time to call bullshit.
- Vinnie Daniel: Bullshit on what?
- Mark Baum: Every fucking thing.”
Steve Carrell - Mark Baum
Jeremy Strong - Vinnie Daniel

“One big unicorn, strong and free, thought he was happy as he could be. Then three little kittens came around and turned his whole life upside down. They made him laugh, they made him cry. He never should have said goodbye. And now he knows he can never part from those three little kittens that changed his heart.”

Steve Carrell - Gru

“- Phil Foster: We are going to die.
- Claire Foster: I don't want the kids to live with your mother.
- Phil Foster: What?
- Claire Foster: She's awful.”

Steve Carrell - Phil Foster
Tina Fey - Claire Foster

“- Edith: You're gonna be a spy?
- Gru: That's right, baby. Gru's back in the game with gadgets and weapons and cool cars. The whole deal.”
Dana Gaier - Edith
Steve Carrell - Gru

“- Agnes: I don't think I should do this.
- Gru: Well, what do you mean? Why not?
- Agnes: I don't even have a mom.
- Gru: Well, you don't need one to do the show. I mean, you did the Veteran's Day pageant and you haven't been in combat.”

Elsie Fisher - Agnes
Steve Carrell - Gru