Vince Vaughn movie quotes

“It's great extremes which leads to great drama and great comedy.”
Vince Vaughn

“You don't worry about being liked. You have to be yourself.”
Vince Vaughn

“You're sitting there, you're wondering, 'do I have food on my face? Am I eating? Am I talking too much? Are they talking enough? Am I interested?' I'm not really... and when am i supposed to kiss her?”

Vince Vaughn - Jeremy Grey

“- Randolph: You banging the daughter and the grandma? How much jam you got, man?
- Jeremy Grey: Jam, I...
- Randolph: Listen man, the family dog lives downstairs. I can wake him up for you if you like. His name is Snooky.”
Ron Canada - Randolph
Vince Vaughn - Jeremy Grey

“- Billy McMahon: For you this is like teaching a little kid the alphabet, right?
- Headphones: No, actually it's like teaching a kid a letter. Just one letter.
- Billy McMahon: Yeah. Yeah, your strong point would not be communicating to humans.
- Headphones: I know.”
Vince Vaughn - Billy McMahon
Josh Gad - Headphones

“- Jeremy Grey: Do you know what that awareness is, Gloria?
- Gloria Cleary: What?
- Jeremy Grey: That we're all one. That separateness is an illusion.”
Vince Vaughn - Jeremy Grey
Isla Fisher - Gloria Cleary

“Get your balls out of your wife's purse and write me a fucking check.”
Vince Vaughn - Pendelton 'Penny' Wise

“- Connor: Do you know who I am?
- Brad: What?
- Connor: Google me bitch! I might be famous one day.”
Skyler Gisondo - Connor
Vince Vaughn - Brad

“- Trent: She smiled, baby.
- Mike: I can't believe what an asshole you are.
- Trent: Did she, or did she not smile.
- Mike: She was smiling at what an asshole you are.”
Vince Vaughn - Trent
Jon Favreau - Mike

“- Dwight: [as Kate Veatch kisses Joyce] I told you she was a lesbian.
- Peter La Fleur: Wow. Good call.
- Kate Veatch: Hey! I'm not a lesbian.
- Peter La Fleur: You're not?
- Kate Veatch: No. I'm bisexual.
[she kisses Peter]”
Chris Williams - Dwight
Vince Vaughn - Peter La Fleur
Christine Taylor - Kate Veatch

“- Nick 'Santa' Claus: I never realized. You hate me.
- Fred Claus: I don't hate you, Nick. I just wish you'd never been born.”
Paul Giamatti - Nick 'Santa' Claus
Vince Vaughn - Fred Claus

“- Billy McMahon: Come on, Megan, listen to me. Honey, let's talk about this. Is this because I'm too unselfish in bed? Because I can change it around. I'm not gonna say it's going to be easy, but I can do it. Megan, listen to me. Honey, it's always darkest before the dawn.
- Megan: No, Billy, it's not. It's actually darkest in the middle of the...” (continue)(continue reading)
Vince Vaughn - Billy McMahon
JoAnna Garcia Swisher - Megan

“A hobby should pass the time, not fill it.”
Vince Vaughn - Norman Bates

“- Billy McMahon: We can't talk about it later. The future doesn't know later.
- Nick Campbell: All the future is, is later. That's literally what the future is. It's later.”
Vince Vaughn - Billy McMahon
Owen Wilson - Nick Campbell

“- Jeremy Grey: How many times you gonna do this shit? Rule #32: you don't commit to a relative unless you're absolutely positive they have a pulse.
- John Beckwith: Rule #16: give me an up-to-date family tree. That was your mistake. You made me look like an idiot.”

Vince Vaughn - Jeremy Grey
Owen Wilson - John Beckwith

“- Mike: What the fuck are you carrying a gun for? What, in case somebody steps to you, Snoop Dogg?
- Sue: Hey man, you're not from here, alright. You don't know how it is. I grew up in L.A.
- Trent: Anaheim.
- Sue: Whatever, man. It's different out here. It's not like New York, Mikey.”
Jon Favreau - Mike
Patrick Van Horn - Sue
Vince Vaughn - Trent

“Why don't you give me your number in case anything happens to my wife.”

Vince Vaughn - Beanie

“It's America, you know what I mean? Find out what it is and put that down on the application for college.”
Vince Vaughn - Fred Claus

“What we need to do now is get focused and stop pointing fingers. You're a problem. You're a real, real problem.”
Vince Vaughn - Dave

“Um... a malt Glen Garry for me and my friend here. And if you tell that bartender to go extra easy on the water, this 50 cent piece has your name on it.”
Vince Vaughn - Trent

“I had an imaginary friend when I was kid, and his name was Shiloh! We used to play checkers with each other every day, and bless his heart, Shiloh would always let me win!”
Vince Vaughn - Jeremy Grey

“- Trent: I'm gonna find me two waitresses here and I'm gonna pull me a Fredo.
- Mike: Yeah, well they're all skanks.
- Trent: What are talking about? Look at all the beautiful babies here.
- Mike: The beautiful babies don't work the midnight-to-six on a Wednesday. This is the skank shift.”
Vince Vaughn - Trent
Jon Favreau - Mike

“My childhood was like the Shawshank Redemption, except I didn't have some old, warm, black man to share my story with!”
Vince Vaughn - Brad

“Are you sure you wouldn't like to stay just a little while longer? Just for talk?”
Vince Vaughn - Norman Bates

“- Darryl: I never had a sexual thought about your mom until I was 30.
- Brad: Can you leave it alone? You can't be my friend anymore. You can't be sleeping with my mom and still be my friend, ok?”
Patrick Van Horn - Darryl
Vince Vaughn - Brad