Children quotes

“Kids: can't live with them, can't shoot them.”
Burgess Meredith - Grandpa Gustafson

“I should think you'd be a little more grateful. We've raised you since you were a baby, given you the food off our table, even let you have Dudley's second bedroom, purely out of the goodness of our hearts.”

Richard Griffiths - Uncle Vernon

“- Hub: We're old, damnit! Leave us alone!
- Garth: The last thing we need is some little sissy boy hanging around all summer.”
Robert Duvall - Hub
Sir Michael Caine - Garth

“- Joan: Deborah, you work in advertising... a civilized business. I on the other hand work with monsters.
- Debbie: You're talking about 5-year-olds!
- Joan: Right! and my job is to break their spirit. That is what kindergarten is all about. The Germans invented it, think about it.”
Elizabeth Perkins - Joan
Demi Moore - Debbie

“Good job, killer, make the ball fear you.”

Zac Efron - Troy Bolton

“- Ralph: The reason I'm calling this assembly is, too much people are screwing around when they should be working. I mean there's a bunch of things. Some people don't even know when to use the bathroom.
- Tony: Yeah. There's this one kid, the other day he took a shit in his pants and later sat on it, I'm not naming names because it's possible...” (continue)(continue reading)
Balthazar Getty - Ralph
Brian Matthews - Tony

“I want a girl who's smart, a girl who can teach me things. I hate stupid women. You know why? You marry a stupid girl, you have stupid kids. You don't believe me? Follow a stupid kid home and see if somebody stupid don't answer the door.”
Jerome Benton - Tricky

“- Mr. Boorg: How many children do you have?
- Roy: None that I know of. I mean, I'm unable to have children. Nasty cheese grating accident as a boy.”
William Jordan - Mr. Boorg
Woody Harrelson - Roy Munson

“- Sally Lamonsoff: See that? Now he won't even drink from me.
- Roxanne Chase-Feder: That's what men do. They take and take, and then give you up for some cow.
- Sally Lamonsoff: Well now I don't know what I'm going to do with these.
- Eric Lamonsoff: I do.”

Maria Bello - Sally Lamonsoff
Salma Hayek - Roxanne Chase-Feder
Kevin James - Eric Lamonsoff

“I understand that you little guys start out with your woobies and you think they're great... and they are, they are terrific. But pretty soon, a woobie isn't enough. You're out on the street trying to score an electric blanket, or maybe a quilt. And the next thing you know, you're strung out on bedspreads Ken. That's serious.”

Michael Keaton - Jack

“Any fool with a dick can make a baby, but only a real man can raise his children.”
Laurence Fishburne - Furious Styles

“- Dewey Finn: You know what? You don't have to worry about me 'cos i'm tough. If a kid gets outta line, I got no problem, smackin' 'em in the head.
- Rosalie Mullins: No. No, we don't use corporal punishment here.
- Dewey Finn: Okay, so just... verbal abuse?”

Jack Black - Dewey Finn
Joan Cusack - Rosalie Mullins

“Children are the only form of immortality that we can be sure of.”
Peter Alexander Ustinov

“- Coach Herman Boone: Well I'm very happy to have the approval of a 5-years-old.
- Sheryl Yoast: I'm 9 and a half, thank you very much.
- Coach Herman Boone: Why don't you get this little girl, some pretty dolls or something, coach?
- Coach Bill Yoast: I've tried. She loves football.”
Denzel Washington - Coach Herman Boone
Hayden Panettiere - Sheryl Yoast
Will Patton - Coach Bill Yoast

“If our children can live safely for one more day it would be worth the one more day that we defend this island.”
Ken Watanabe - General Tadamichi Kuribayashi

“Worrying about your kids is sanity, and being that sane... can drive you nuts.”
Adam Sandler - John Clasky

“You know, there are some children who aren't really children at all. They're just pillars of flame that burn everything they touch. And there are some children who are just pillars of ash, that fall apart if you touch them. Me and Victor, we were children of flame and ash.”
Evan Adams - Thomas Builds-the-Fire

“- Nahari: I'm going to Hell! I killed a child! I smashed his head against a wall.
- Mahatma Gandhi: Why?
- Nahari: Because they killed my son! The Muslims killed my son!
- Mahatma Gandhi: I know a way out of Hell. Find a child, a child whose mother and father have been killed and raise him as your own. Only be sure that he is a Muslim and that...” (continue)(continue reading)
Om Puri - Nahari
Ben Kingsley - Mahatma Gandhi

“Let's put the women and children to bed and go lookin' for fuckin’ dinner!”
Craig Sheffer - Joe Kane

“I can't have a baby because I have a 12:30 lunch meeting.”
Diane Keaton - J.C. Wiatt

“- Cesar Toban: Do you have pictures of your kids?
- Jack Stevens: What?
- Cesar Toban: I need to see them. I'll also need their names and the names of their schools. We are trusting you with millions of dollars of coke, Mr. Stevens. Without your children, there is no deal.”
Dan Ferro - Cesar Toban
Charles Noland - Jack Stevens

“- Zini: This monster's got no teeth! What's he gonna do? Gum us to death?
- Plio: Come on! Look at that sweet little face. Does that look like a monster to you?”

Max Casella - Zini
Alfre Woodard - Plio

“- Mrs. Knowles: The point is, we establish criteria for parenting, and an ex-convict compared to other desirables...
- Frank: Great, so we'll take a kid that's not so desirable. You got a black kid? We'll take a black kid. You got a chink kid?
- Mrs. Knowles: You don't seem to understand...
- Frank: Nobody likes older kids. You got an eight-year...” (continue)(continue reading)

Marge Kotlisky - Mrs. Knowles
James Caan - Frank

“- Annie: Mrs. Burbridge, would you come over here for a moment? Has it escaped your attention that these children have head to toe poison oak?
- Adele Burbridge: Well no, I... well yes, but...
- Annie: But what? My children are in need of medical assistance! And you can sit here and smugly lecture me on the importance of tests? Tests which exist...” (continue)(continue reading)
Goldie Hawn - Annie
Doris Hess - Adele Burbridge

“I would like a nice, powerful, mind-altering substance. Preferably one that will make my unborn children grow gills.”
Parker Posey - Mary