Crime quotes

“When you think of crime, you think of English crime. The psychology's different here.”

Michael Culver - McBryde

“- Barney Rubble: You're all making a big mistake. Fred couldn't have stolen that necklace. It was locked up in a safe... Fred can't even remember the combination to his bowling locker. Look, he's gotta write it down on his hand, see?
- Fred Flintstone: Great. Now, everybody's seen it.
- Barney Rubble: Crack a safe? He couldn't even crack his...” (continue)(continue reading)

Stephen Baldwin - Barney Rubble
Mark Addy - Fred Flintstone
Thomas Gibson - Chip Rockefeller

“- Mike Lafebb: Man, I never met anybody who did crime for a living. I mean I had a cousin once who held up a gas station on his bicycle, but he was nuts.
- Ernie Mullins: Runs in the family, huh?”
Casey Siemaszko - Mike Lafebb
Burt Reynolds - Ernie Mullins

“Never again will you dare - in my presence - to condone your crimes under the mask of patriotism.”

Flora Robson - Queen Elizabeth

“Act your age. Go and break some windows. Demolish some phone boxes.”

John Gordon Sinclair - Gregory

“- Nicky Santoro: What's takin' so long over there?
- Frank Marino: This peter's a motherfucker.
- Jack Hardy: It's workin'. Just keep workin' it. It's comin'.
- Nicky Santoro: Gotta learn how to open these fuckin' things so you won't have to take 'em.”

Joe Pesci - Nicky Santoro
Frank Vincent - Frank Marino
Jed Mills - Jack Hardy

“- Moral Statute Machine: Your repeated violation of the Verbal Morality Statute has caused me to notify the San Angeles Police Department. Please remain where you are for your reprimand.
- Simon Phoenix: Yeah, right.
[police sirens approach]
- Simon Phoenix: Fuckers are fast too.
- Moral Statute Machine: You are fined one credit for a violation...” (continue)(continue reading)

Wesley Snipes - Simon Phoenix

“The room looks like the Manson family stayed here a month.”

Christian Slater - Robert Boyd

- Pee-wee Herman: What did you do?
- Mickey: Well, I lost my temper and I took a knife and I uh... do you know those "Do Not Remove Under the Penalty of Law" labels they put on mattresses?
- Pee-wee Herman: Yeah.
- Mickey: Well I cut one of them off!

Paul Reubens - Pee-wee Herman
Judd Omen - Mickey

“Maybe you're right. As you pointed out, there are certain similarities between the two crimes, but you missed perhaps the most important: both murders were discovered by the same man - you!”

Charles Waldron - District Attorney

“Rooster, you're the only con I know who can con a cop.”

Kathy Bates - Miss Agatha Hannigan

“So what if I'm young and beautiful? That's not a crime, you know.”
Elaine Hendrix - Meredith Blake

“- O'Niel: Hey, Sheppard. Guess what I just found in a meat locker.
- Sheppard: Y'know, I have a feeling that you'll tell me even if I don't guess.
- O'Niel: 250 pounds of hamburger named Yario that works for you. I also found your shipment of PDE. So, I threw the hamburger in the jail, and the PDE in the toilet. Or was it the other way around? I...” (continue)(continue reading)

Sir Sean Connery - O'Niel
Peter Boyle - Sheppard

“All crime is passionate. It's passion that moves the criminal to act, to disrupt the static inertia of morality.”
Bill Pullman - Daryl Zero

“Don't worry, people, no need for alarm, it's just a good-old fashioned, low-tech stick up! We're interested in the basics: cash, jewelry, cellular telephones. Just hand them over nicely, and no one will be hurt.”
Tommy Lee Jones - Two-Face

“River City, station stop River City. Just crossed the state line into Iowa. Population of River: twenty-two hundred and twelve. Cigarettes: illegal in this state!”

Percy Helton - Train conductor

“- Carl Lyne: Listen, obviously we have to work together here. And I guess you passed the test. Where did you stash the bodies? The car, the whole thing, that was incredible.
- Jack Lyne: I stuffed them up my ass. And I'm still not as full of shit as you.”
Jamey Sheridan - Carl Lyne
Jonathan Penner - Jack Lyne

“- Nick Beam: We have to bring the money back.
- Terrance Paul Davidson: Ha ha. Maybe you a little confused about the purpose of a robbery.
- Nick Beam: Oh gee I didn't tell you, when we were at the hotel I called my wife. Everything's alright. She wasn't even there. Isn't that great? It was her sister and her sister's fiancé.
- Terrance Paul...” (continue)(continue reading)
Tim Robbins - Nick Beam
Martin Lawrence - Terrance Paul Davidson

My old man... was a preacher. And when I started messin' with this shit, he said, "you gonna pay for that. You gonna pay for that shit, boy". He was right. You can't cheat this shit no... mo'.
Thomas Jefferson Byrd - Errol Barnes

“Television. Television is the explanation for this - you see this in bad television. Little assault guys creeping through the vents, coming in through the ceiling - that James Bond shit never happens in real life! Professionals don't do that!”
Willem Dafoe - Paul Smecker

“- Scarface: Man, you didn't say nothing 'bout no door, yo!
- Thurgood Jenkins: Just chill out, man. I smoked weed here all the time. This door's never locked.
[Scarface opens the door, the alarm goes off]
- Thurgood Jenkins: I didn't say the alarm would be off, though. I just said it's never locked.”

Guillermo Díaz - Scarface
Dave Chappelle - Thurgood Jenkins

“I've had six chauffeurs in two years. You get me drunks, guys who can't understand English, one guy ran over an old lady with me in the car and now this guy's wanted for mail fraud.”
Woody Allen - Sandy Bates

“- Robert Roy MacGregor: You're a thief, a murderer and a violator of women.
- Archibald Cunningham: Ah... I had hoped you'd come to me long since on that score.
- Robert Roy MacGregor: If I had known earlier you would have been dead sooner.”
Liam Neeson - Rob Roy
Tim Roth - Cunningham

“Haven't you ever committed a wrong? If you have, you must know that the worst consequences have the unforeseen ones.”
Douglass Dumbrille - Grilov

“- Martin Daniels: I have a criminal record. But you know what you're gonna have? You're gonna have a one-way ticket back to your parents!
- Clifford Daniels: Don't send me back to my parents, they hate me!
- Martin Daniels: Not as much as I do!”
Charles Grodin - Martin Daniels
Martin Hayter Short - Clifford Daniels