Crime quotes

“We came to town to see a ball game, and now they wanna give us the chair. I love New York. Bring your kids. Have them arrested. Do some time in the Big Apple.”
Michael Keaton - Billy Caufield

“I'm so excited. That was my very first felony. I've committed a lot of misdemeanors but I do believe that was my very first felony!”
Oliver Platt - Harvey

“- Shaun: [about Ed] Oh, he sells a bit of weed every now and again, you know. You've sold puff.
- Pete: Yeah. Once. At college. To you.”
Simon Pegg - Shaun
Peter Serafinowicz - Pete

“- M: What else do we know about the Janus syndicate?
- James Bond: Top flight arms dealers headquartered in St. Petersburg. First outfit to restock the Iraqis during the Gulf War. The head man's unreliably described. No photographs. The woman, Onatopp, is our only confirmed contact.”
Dame Judi Dench - M
Pierce Brosnan - James Bond

“- Carter: Lee, let me introduce you to Carter's new theory of criminal investigation: follow the rich white man.
- Lee: Follow the rich white man?
- Carter: Behind every big crime there's a rich white man waiting for his cut.”
Chris Tucker - Carter
Jackie Chan - Lee

“- Lori: What are you? C.I.A., Mafia?
- Wallace Ritchie: Both.”
Joanne Whalley - Lori
Bill Murray - Wallace Ritchie

“- Coach: You ate her?
- Wayne: Yeah, we ate her.
- J.D.: Alive.
- Coach: My hat goes off to you. You boys are smart; that's the perfect crime.”
R. Lee Ermey - Coach
Steve Zahn - Wayne
Jack Black - J.D.

“- Thelma: You're a real live outlaw, aren't ya?
- J.D.: Well, I may be an outlaw, darlin', but, uh, you're the one stealin' my heart.”
Geena Davis - Thelma
Brad Pitt - J.D.

“I'm sorry, Watson, the pleasures of the chase are no longer for me. I'm through with crime now and forever.”

Basil Rathbone - Sherlock Holmes

“Because a victimless crime is still a crime.”

Erika Christensen - Anna Ross

“Strange that crime of passion should be committed with gloved hand.”
Warner Oland - Charlie Chan

“- Tim Whalen: There's nothing in the world I'd rather do than marry you but I - I just don't think you know enough about me.
- Olivia Lawrence: You rob banks or something?
- Tim Whalen: Bounce checks.
- Olivia Lawrence: For a living?
- Tim Whalen: When I quit school, I got caught in Cincinnati with no money. Wrote a lot of checks on a closed...” (continue)(continue reading)
Rob Lowe - Tim Whalen
Meg Tilly - Olivia Lawrence

“You know when a sweet mouth girl like you has a fancy case like this a man gets to thinking; where's a wallet? I'm gonna need that wallet, Alice. Where's that big fat wallet? Give it to me. Give me your fucking wallet you little bitch.”
John C. McGinley - Davis "Rig" Lanlow

“- Dr. Klein: Let me ask you something. What would you do if you had to change careers?
- Roy Waller: You mean if I wasn't an antiques broker?
- Dr. Klein: If you weren't a criminal.”
Bruce Altman - Dr. Klein
Nicolas Cage - Roy Waller

“These people are the dregs, Jack. Not even the governments can control them!”

Charlotte Rampling - Kate

“- Cole Younger: You still chargin' $15?
- Belle Starr: I sure am.
- Cole Younger: Lot of money.
- Belle Starr: Well, at the rate you're losin' you won't have to worry about it. Course you could always hold up another bank; scare some more innocent people half to death.”
David Carradine - Cole Younger
Pamela Reed - Belle Shirley Starr

“- Teenager: Are you gonna take me to jail for car theft?
- Irwin 'Fletch' Fletcher: Why? Did you steal the car?
- Teenager: I sure did.
- Irwin 'Fletch' Fletcher: Well, I'm not even sure that's a crime anymore. There've been a lot of changes in the law.”
David W. Harper - Teenager
Chevy Chase - Irwin 'Fletch' Fletcher

“I shall tell the truth. Because if I did not, my nights would be haunted by the spectre of an innocent man expiating under the most frightful torture a crime he never committed.”

Paul Muni - Emile Zola

“- Bart: Stampeding cattle.
- Hedley Lamarr: That's not much of a crime.
- Bart: Through the Vatican?
- Hedley Lamarr: [smiling] Kinky!”
Cleavon Little - Bart
Harvey Korman - Hedley Lamarr

“- Paul Cater: I didn't get this car, I stole it. That's a felony.
- Lurene Hallett: Well it shouldn't be if it can't go over forty!”
Dennis Haysbert - Paul Cater
Michelle Pfeiffer - Lurene Hallett

“At Security Concepts, we're projecting the end of crime in Old Detroit within forty days. There's a new guy in town. His name is RoboCop.”
Miguel Ferrer - Bob Morton

“- Eliot: Are you telling me I popped your cherry?
- Vivian: I didn't want to make a big deal out of it. I just wanted to get it over with. No ceremony.
- Eliot: That puts a lot of pressure on a man. Did you think of that? Did you think of me? You know what this makes me? A criminal. On 2 counts! Devirginizing a minor.”

Kevin Corrigan - Eliot
Natasha Lyonne - Vivian

“I spend all of my day with murders and rapists, and what's really crazy is that I like them.”
Cher - Kathleen Riley

“- Terrance Paul Davidson: When you meet my wife, she don't know nothin' about my sideline gig.
- Nick Beam: You mean she doesn't know you're a thief?
- Terrance Paul Davidson: Hey, I'm not a thief. Okay? I just dabble in future used goods.”
Martin Lawrence - Terrance Paul Davidson
Tim Robbins - Nick Beam

“- Mr. White: How do you know all this, Joe? How do you know Mr. Orange is the informant?
- Joe Cabot: He was the only one that I wasn't 100% sure on. I should have my fuckin' head examined for going on a plan like this when I wasn't a hundred percent sure of my crew!
- Mr. White: That's your proof?
- Joe Cabot: You don't need proof when you have...” (continue)(continue reading)
Harvey Keitel - Mr. White
Lawrence Tierney - Joe Cabot