Crime quotes

“Pubic hair causes crime.”
Mark Joy - Jimmy

“I was wondering if I could purchase some heroin and then we could go out and do some hate crimes and stuff.”
Chris Kattan - Corky Romano

“You don't... Steal... A Fucking... Cop car!”

Kevin Bacon - Sheriff Kretzer

“- Lilly Dillon: You're working some angle, and don't tell me you're not because I wrote the book!
- Roy Dillon: What about you? You still handling playback money for the mob?
- Lilly Dillon: That's me. That's who I am. You were never cut out for the rackets, Roy.”
Anjelica Huston - Lilly Dillon
John Cusack - Roy Dillon

“- Ray Duquette: Why don't we begin with a question? What is a sex crime?
- Jimmy Leach: Not gettin' any!”
Kevin Bacon - Ray Duquette
Cory Pendergast - Jimmy Leach

“- Mind Worker Cop Jake: So, you're saying your husband was blown away by an elephant. Was he with anyone?
- Mind Worker Cop Jake: Yes! And there she is!”

Flea - Mind Worker Cop Jake

- Remy Bressant: How well do you know "Cheese" Jean Baptiste?
- Helene McCready: Who?
- Nick Poole: Come on, sweetheart. "Cheese" Jean Baptiste.
- Helene McCready: Oh, sounds familiar.
- Remy Bressant: No. It don't "sound familiar", Helene. He's a violent sociopathic Haitain criminal named Cheese. Either you know him or you don't.
Ed Harris - Remy Bressant
Amy Ryan - Helene McCready
John Ashton - Nick Poole

“I robbed a thief! How can you not see the humor in that?”

Danny DeVito - Max Fairbanks

“Video games and television cleaned up the city. That's what cleaned up the streets. Come on, man, 'cause ya'll remember when everybody was outside. If you was two-years-old, if you were a hundred and two, you was outside.”
Tobias Truvillion - Gutta

“- Hedley Lamarr: Qualifications?
- Applicant: Rape, murder, arson, and rape.
- Hedley Lamarr: You said rape twice.
- Applicant: I like rape.”
Harvey Korman - Hedley Lamarr

“I planned and set in motion events to execute the perfect bank robbery. That's also the When. As for the Why: beyond the obvious financial motivation, it's exceedingly simple... because I can.”
Clive Owen - Dalton Russell

“- Asneeze: I've been in here for a while. Perhaps I could be of service. Do you have any questions?
- Robin Hood: What are you in for?
- Asneeze: Jaywalking.”

Isaac Hayes - Asneeze
Cary Elwes - Robin Hood

“- Mike Conlon: They should have locked you up a long time ago. Made you pay for the things you did.
- Jimmy Conlon: Just because I'm not behind bars doesn't mean I'm not paying for what I did, Michael.”
Joel Kinnaman - Mike Conlon
Liam Neeson - Jimmy Conlon

“We are insane. Who else but crazy men would film their crimes?”
Karel Roden - Emil Slovak

“The jury is going to remember Caroline tortured to death. They'll want someone to pay for the crime.”
Harrison Ford - Rusty Sabich

“You're offering me a bribe. What you have just done is illegal and in this state, if convicted, you could be fined up to $5,000 or spend six months in a correction facility!”

Jim Carrey - The Cable Guy

“- Bodhi: [Preparing for the next robbery] 90 seconds Johnny. That's all I ask for, just 90 seconds of your life Johnny, that's it. This is our tactic, is we strike fear. It's basic dog psychology, if you scare them and get them peeing down their leg, they submit. But if you project weakness, that promotes violence, and that's how people get...” (continue)(continue reading)
Patrick Swayze - Bodhi
James Le Gros - Roach

“- Lieutenant Nabulsi: What kind of criminal drives a Prius?
- Sergeant Harris: A socially responsible one?”
Lennie James - Lieutenant Nabulsi
Allan Steele - Sergeant Harris

“- Vann: Well, I think one thing you guys oughta learn is that the story's mine, it belongs to me, so I think I'll tell it my way.
- Graves: No matter which fucking way you tell it, gas chamber is where you're headed, Siegert.”
Owen Wilson - Vann
Dennis Haysbert - Graves

“- Cosmo: There I was in prison. And one day I helped a couple of nice older gentlemen make some free telephone calls. They turned out to be, let us say, good family men.
- Bishop: Organized crime?
- Cosmo: Hah. Don't kid yourself. It's not that organized.”
Ben Kingsley - Cosmo
Robert Redford - Bishop

“- Dougy: We keep robbin' banks but we never get to keep the money.
- Emil M. Antonowsky: Takes money to make money. We steal money to buy coke then sell the coke to make even more money. Capital investment, man.
- Dougy: Yeah, but why bother making it when we can just steal it?
- Emil M. Antonowsky: No better way to steal money than free...” (continue)(continue reading)
Neil Summers - Dougy
Paul McCrane - Emil M. Antonowsky

“- Kriminal: You thought I was just going to forgive you?
- Pretty boy: Jesus already did.”
Senyo Amoaku - Kriminal
Shwayze - Pretty Boy

“- J. Parnell Thomas: Mr. Trumbo, are you now, or have you ever been a member of the communist party?
- Dalton Trumbo: Am I accused of a crime?”
James DuMont - J. Parnell Thomas
Bryan Cranston - Dalton Trumbo

“I'm saying his sins will soon find him out. I'm saying his cup of iniquity is full. I'm saying Jesse James is a desperate case and may require a desperate remedy.”

James Carville - Governor Crittenden

“The weed of crime bears bitter fruit.”
Alec Baldwin - The Shadow