Deceit quotes

“- Patrick Verona: Some asshole paid me to take out this really great girl.
- Katarina Stratford: Is that right?
- Patrick Verona: Yeah, but I screwed up. I, um, I fell for her.”
Heath Ledger - Patrick Verona
Julia Stiles - Katarina Stradford

“- Marcia Brady: I'm so happy for you, Jan.
- Jan Brady: Really, Marcia?
- Marcia Brady: No.”
Christine Taylor - Marcia Brady
Jennifer Elise Cox - Jan Brady

“A man can convince anyone he's somebody else, but never himself.”
Kevin Spacey - Verbal

Now, repeat after me: "Homosexuality is the best all-round cover an agent ever had".
Peter Boretski - Creature Voices

“A good fight is never clean.”
Clive Owen - Larry

“- Achilles: Play your tricks on me. But not on my cousin.
- Odysseus: You have your swords. I have my tricks. We play with the toys the gods give us.”
Brad Pitt - Achilles
Sean Bean - Odysseus

“- Larry: Oh my God, it's a trap.
- Dr. Gwen Lichtman: Dogs don't set traps.”
Jarrad Paul - Larry
Bess Wohl - Dr. Gwen Lichtman

“Mr. Wombosi was supposed to be dead three weeks ago. He was supposed to have died in a way where the only possible explanation was that he'd been murdered by a member of his own entourage. I don't send you to kill. I send you to be invisible. I send you because you don't exist.”

Chris Cooper - Conklin

“- Anthony Powell: You are a faker!
- Terry Randall: Oh, we're both fakers. Isn't faking the essence of acting?”
Adolphe Menjou - Anthony Powell
Katharine Hepburn - Terry Randall

“I hate to say it, but, the accountants seem to be running MI6 these days. Oh, not that I have anything against accountants. Many of them are lovely people. So, I decided that it was cheaper to supply his deputy with evidence that we were bribing Le Chiffre. Its amazing what you can do with photoshop, these days, isn't it.”
Giancarlo Giannini - Rene Mathis

“When I came out into society, I was fifteen. I already knew that the role I was condemned to, namely to keep quiet and do what I was told, gave me the perfect opportunity to listen and observe. Not to what people told me, which naturally was of no interest, but to whatever it was they were trying to hide. I practiced detachment. I learned how to...” (continue)(continue reading)
Glenn Close - Marquise de Merteuil

“- Echo: What did you say, anyway, that made that woman storm away like that?
- Orville: I told her you had the clap.”
Beverly D'Angelo - Echo
Geoffrey Lewis - Orville

“Always do business as if the person you're doing business with is trying to screw you, because he probably is. And if he's not, you can be pleasantly surprised.”
Steve Martin - Jimmy Dell

“On some small level, I think you owe me something for deceiving me so exquisitely.”
Clive Owen - Larry

“- Gary Johnston: Jesus, this is a nice limo.
- Spottswoode: Yes, it is. Now suck my cock! Just kidding.”
Trey Parker - Gary Johnston
Daran Norris - Spottswoode

“When I was ten-years-old, I killed my best friend, Tommy Hanley. All the folks in town thought he died of falling out a tree. But the fact of the matter is, I beat him with a club and drug him in the woods so's it'd look that way.”
David Dunard - Harry Bob Ferguson

“To say I love falsely is as contradictory as to say I believe falsely.”
Heath Ledger - Casanova

“The beauty of the Gatekeeper system is that we can get in and out of the FBI like it's the Public Library. It's a beautiful system.”
Jeremy Northam - Jack

“- Edward Wilson: This seems to me to be a problem for the British. Why are we involved?
- John Russell, Jr.: The British are a particularly civilized people. They don't eat their own. They have somebody do it for them.”

Matt Damon - Edward Wilson
Gabriel Macht - John Russell, Jr.

“Make no mistake. The American people are terrified. They know something's coming. They can feel it. And we can either shovel them the same old shit and call it sugar or we can arm them.”
Meryl Streep - Eleanor Shaw

“Congratulations, baby. Tonight you could've gotten laid, but instead you got fucked.”
Sandra McCoy - Mercedes

You're at home, hosting a birthday party for your daughter, and you've just shelled out 50 bucks so some pathetic loser can pull a mangy rabbit out of a flea market hat. At first, you might wonder to yourself "How did he do that?". But then you would probably just dismiss it as some sort of a trick. And you know something? You'd be right! It's... (continue)(continue reading)
Penn Fraser Jillette - Himself - Host (segment "The Sorcerer's Apprentice")

“You know the key to running a convincing bluff? Every once in a while you got to be holding all the cards.”
Sean Bean - Ian Howe

“- Hedra Carlson: Okay. Come on. The police will be here soon.
- Allison Jones: But... But you shouldn't run. It'll only make it worse. I know you weren't yourself when you did this, Hedy.
- Hedra Carlson: I know. I was you. Who is this Hedy, anyway? No one's seen her. She's not on the lease. There's not even a fingerprint of hers here. I've been...” (continue)(continue reading)

Jennifer Jason Leigh - Hedra Carlson
Bridget Fonda - Allison Jones

“Appearances are everything, Miss Fang. Politics and deception are built on it.”
Anne Archer - Eleanor Hooks