Father quotes

“Your dad's a paranoid nitwit who has never let his baby girl out of his sight for the simple reason that he's a paranoid nitwit.”

Dan Aykroyd - Harry Sultenfuss

“- Radley: Who's that?
- Carla : Oh, that's just my friend Daniel, but I like to call him Danny.
- Radley: Yeah? Well Danny's kinda cute.
- Carla: Stop teasing dad!!!”
Tom Skerritt - Radley
Juliette Lewis - Carla

“I know every kid thinks his dad is invincible.”
Kurt Russell - Steve Stronghold

“- Alex: Hey, I need a huge favor.
- Jeff: You're not jerking off on my dad.”
Allen Covert - Alex
Nick Swardson - Jeff

“- Marwood: If my father was loaded I'd ask him for some money.
- Withnail: If your father was my father you wouldn't get it.”
Paul McGann - ... & I
Richard R. Grant - Withnail

“If we forgive our fathers, what is left?”
Evan Adams - Thomas Builds-the-Fire

“- Yellowbeard: Dan, if you're my son, prove it. Kill this stupid old bugger!
- Lord Lambourn: Hold your horses...
- Dan: I can't kill him! He brought me up! Just like a father.
- Yellowbeard: Oh, you mean he's beat ya and kicked ya and smashed ya in the teeth?”
Graham Arthur Chapman - Yellowbeard
Peter Cook - Lord Lambourn
Martin Hewitt - Dan

“- Aladdin: After all these years you finally have your treasure!
- Cassim: This thing? No. This wretched thing almost cost me the ultimate treasure. It's you son, you are my ultimate treasure. I'm just sorry it took me so long to realize it. The Hand of Midas can take its curse to the bottom the sea!”
Scott Weinger - Aladdin
John Rhys-Davies - Cassim

“- First reporter: Say, do you know anything about electricity?
- S.B. Bellows: My father occupied the chair of applied electricity at State Prison.”
Jimmy Conlin - First reporter
W.C. Fields - S. B. Bellows

“- Truman Burbank: It was Dad. I swear! Dressed like a homeless man. And you know what else was strange? A business man and a woman with a little dog came out of nowhere and forced him onto a bus.
- Truman's Mother: Well! It's about time they cleaned up the trash downtown before we become just like the rest of the country.”

Jim Carrey - Truman Burbank
Holland Taylor - Truman's Mother

“Yo, I'm Gilbert. This summer, my parents shipped me off to camp. I caught impetigo. And when I got back, my dad had moved out. Only since then he moved back, but he's still sleeping in my room and I'm sleeping on the couch.”
Louis Martin Braga III - Gilbert Bates

“- Charlene 'Charlie' McGee: Where's my father?
- Captain Hollister: He's fine. He's happy, and he sends his love, and he wants you to cooperate with us.
- Charlene 'Charlie' McGee: You're a liar!
- Captain Hollister: Now, what kinda talk is that from a nice little girl like you?
- Charlene 'Charlie' McGee: Go to Hell!”
Drew Barrymore - Charlene 'Charlie' McGee
Martin Sheen - Captain Hollister

“I'm a tramp, and who's to blame? My father. A swell start you gave me. Ever since I was fourteen, what's it been? Nothing but men! Dirty rotten men! And you're lower than any of them. I'll hate you as long as I live!”

Barbara Stanwyck - Lily

“- Ms. Guillermo: You must love him very much.
- Hank Grotowski: No, I don't. But he's my father. So, there it is.”
Carol Sutton - Ms. Guillermo
Billy Bob Thornton - Hank Grotowski

“- James: Okay, if you're the father then maybe you can answer me these questions. What's Mikey's favorite cereal?
- Albert: I don't know.
- James: Cheerios. How many diapers does he go through a day? About six. Who's his favorite rock star? Michael Jackson. Don't you think a father should know some of these things?”
John Travolta - James
George Segal - Albert

- Sebastian: Like I always say, Your Majesty, "Children have got to be free to lead their own lives".
- Triton: You always say that, Sebastian?
- Sebastian: Tee-hee.
- Triton: Well I guess there's one problem left.
- Sebastian: And what's that, Your Majesty?
- Triton: How much I'm going to miss her.
Samuel E. Wright - Sebastian
Kenneth Mars - Triton

“Who's the lucky, soon-to-be-dead son-in-law?”
Mel Gibson - Martin Riggs

“He's like you, dad! Except he's brilliant.”
Kimberly Williams-Paisley - Annie Banks

“- Gloria: My mother died when I was six.
- Arthur Bach: Son of a bitch! Don't they know what they do to kids?
- Gloria: My father raped me when I was twelve.
- Arthur Bach: So, you had six relatively good years? I'm sorry. Listen, my father screwed me, too.”
Anne De Salvo - Gloria
Dudley Moore - Arthur Bach

- Kate: What would you tell your father if he came home and I was dead on the kitchen floor?
- Eugene Morris Jerome: "Don't go in the kitchen, Pa"?
Blythe Danner - Kate
Jonathan Silverman - Eugene Morris Jerome

“- Ely Jackson: I can blow up your dad's car. Then you can stay longer.
- Skye Davidson: Thanks.”
Christina Ricci - Ely Jackson
Kate Hudson - Skye Davidson

“I lied to you too. When I told you I didn't want to be like you. Because I am like you. Everything good that I have inside of me, I have from you. I love you so much daddy. And I'm so proud of you, I'm so scared. I'm so scared.”

Liv Tyler - Grace Stamper

“- Sandy Travis: I'm your mother, so, you have to like me.
- Tim Travis: Okay. What about dad's?
- Sandy Travis: Well, he used to make me feel like I was the only person in a crowded room.”
Sigourney Weaver - Sandy Travis
Emile Hirsch - Tim Travis

“- Honey: Raven, you know, you're a really pretty girl. You could escape from all of this madness.
- Raven: Escape to what, Honey? I mean, my father is Zo-Zo, the three headed guard dog at the gate to hell.
- Honey: Oh, I'm sorry to hear that.”
Melanie Griffith - Honey Whitlock
Maggie Gyllenhaal - Raven

“- Benjamin Wells: You can't stay here. Live your life anyway you want, but not here.
- Julian: Just give me a second. You're the father, and I'm the son. I'm your son. I'm sleepy.”

Nicholas Pryor - Benjamin Wells
Robert Downey Jr. - Julian