Job quotes

“If the 405 is your morning route, I hope you don't have a history of showing up late to work, 'cause today you're fired.”

Tamala Jones - Laura Leeton

“- Queen: Everyone has their place, Bala. You, the soldiers, the workers... Oh, it's not all that bad being princess, is it? Would you prefer to be carting around dirt all day?
- Princess Bala: Oh, Mother, don't be so dramatic.”
Anne Bancroft - Queen
Sharon Stone - Princess Bala

“This is the moneymaker! I'm not that good of an actor! This is how I get the jobs, I know that.”

Ashton Kutcher - Hank

“- The Detective: Today's your lucky day. I'm feeling generous. I'm gonna give you a choice. You and your boys can do one more job. A bank, a nice big one, for free. You're just going to hire a new driver, that's all. A good one.
- Glasses: I don't work with cops.”
Bruce Dern - The Detective
Joseph Walsh - Glasses

“- Peter Ludlow: Roland, there's a job for you in San Diego if you want it.
- Roland Tembo: No thank you. I believe I've spent enough time in the company of death.”
Arliss Howard - Peter Ludlow
Pete Postlethwaite - Roland Tembo

“Name: Loc Dog, baby. Height: Six-deuce! Age: 19. Father's name: mmm... I dunno. Sex: hell yeah, nigga! Salary desired: 3 million dollars! Cash!”

Marlon Wayans - Loc Dog

“- Navin: Are you a model?
- Marie: No. I'm a cosmetologist.
- Navin: Really? A cosmetologist? That's unbelievable. That's impressive. Must be tough handling the weightlessness.”
Steve Martin - Navin
Bernadette Peters - Marie

“- Pearl Antoine: Yeah, that's what I need, a good job. You wanna know what my favorite job would be, of all time? To be the radio talk lady, Dr Nancy Love. Ever listen to her?
- Mickey: I don't listen to radio talk.”
Rae Dawn Chong - Pearl Antoine
Keith Carradine - Mickey

“Mr. Charles, this sure is a pleasure! I should have recognized you, seeing the pictures in the papers. I follow all your cases. We still talk about the Thin Man job and the Landis case. Why, it's the slickest detective work in 50 years.”

Arthur Belasco - Policeman

“- Detective John Williams: I know you must be curious to know more. But I'm afraid I'm gonna have to ask you now not only not to tell anyone about your find but also not to ask more about the case. One day, when it's all sewed up, I'll let you know all the details. Right now, though, I can't.
- Jeffrey Beaumont: I understand. I'm just real...” (continue)(continue reading)
George Dickerson - Detective John Williams
Kyle MacLachlan - Jeffrey Beaumont

“- Vanessa: Does this mean I have to quit school now?
- Gina Norris: No, why would you say that?
- Vanessa: Because you got fired.
- Gina Norris: I didn't get fired, I quit, there's a big difference.”
Paige Hurd - Vanessa
Queen Latifah - Gina Norris

“- Mr. Patterson: Darlene, you just got promoted.
- Darlene Patterson: You mean you're gonna start paying me?
- Mr. Patterson: I didn't say that.”
Holmes Osborne - Mr. Patterson
Dawn Maxey - Darlene Patterson

“- Pete: It's four in the fucking morning!
- Shaun: It's Saturday!
- Pete: No, it's not. It's fucking Sunday. And I've got to go to fucking work in four fucking hours ‘cause every other fucker in my fucking department is fucking ill! Now can you see why I'm so fucking angry?
- Ed: Fuck, yeah!”
Peter Serafinowicz - Pete
Nick Frost - Ed

“- Lula Rogers: If is wasn't for me, you would probably still be singing in some run-down rat hole for a bunch of fat cowgirls from Iowa.
- Dusty Wyatt Chandler: Yeah, and if it wasn't for me, you would probably be a waitress there.”
Lesley Ann Warren - Lula Rogers
George Strait - Dusty Wyatt Chandler

“I am a prosecutor. I have spent my life in the assignment of blame.”
Harrison Ford - Rusty Sabich

“- Private Robert Ortiez: I got an honorable discharge, if you can believe it.
- Hank Deerfield: It's the Army, I can believe anything.”
Roman Arabia - Private Robert Ortiez
Tommy Lee Jones - Hank Deerfield

“- Freedonia's Secretary of War #1: I give all my time and energy to my duties, and what do I get?
- Rufus T. Firefly: You get awfully tiresome after a while!”
Edwin Maxwell - Freedonia's Secretary of War #1
Groucho Marx - Rufus T. Firefly

“If I don't get a little law and order around here, I get busted down to a traffic corner. And your friend don't like traffic corners.”

Simon Oakland - Schrank

“- Sweet Daddy Dee: Why do you do what you do?
- Jeff Dunham: Why? Because I enjoy it and it's the best way I know to make money.
- Sweet Daddy Dee: You the ho!
- Jeff Dunham: Wait a minute, what if I said I do it only because I enjoy it?
- Sweet Daddy Dee: You the dumb ho. Ha ha!”
Jeff Dunham - Sweet Daddy Dee
Jeff Dunham - Himself

“For a long time I didn't understand what he did that day. I figured he tossed a gold shield career into the shitter. But it started to hit me what the job had become for Buster. And for my too. Buster left his regrets, and what didn't work no more, in the Sing Sing Death House, and pushed on for better days. He never looked back.”
James Gandolfini - Det. Charles Hilderbrandt

“I think, instead of passport photographs, they should let you do a drawing of yourself.”
Joyce Deans - Stephanie

I've sent in my application to the Real World. So I'm hoping to hear back from that. I'm putting a lot of my eggs into that basket, the MTV basket. I'm also thinking about getting a gun, and dealing crack. Being a crack dealer. Not like a mean crack dealer, but like... like a nice one. Kinda friendly like, "hey, what's up guys? Want some... (continue)(continue reading)
Will Ferrell - Ricky Bobby

All I itch for is money. I'm so greedy that for fifty pounds a day plus expenses on the day I work, I risk my future, the hatred of the cops, of Eddie Mars and his pals, I dodge bullets and put up with slaps and say: "Thank you very much. If you have any further trouble please call me: I'll just put my card here on the table".
Robert Mitchum - Philip Marlowe

“- Dr. Bill Harford: You know what they say, once a doctor always a doctor.
- Nick Nightingale: Yes, or in my case, never a doctor, never a doctor.”
Tom Cruise - Dr. William Harford
Todd Field - Nick Nightingale

“- Dr. Peter Flynn: I understand you're a neurosurgeon.
- Bert Fischer: No, I'm a barber, but a lot of people make that mistake.”
Luke Wilson - Dr. Peter Flynn
Seymour Cassel - Bert Fischer