Job quotes

“You are useless Ignacio! Your only job is to cook. Do you not realize I have had diarrhea since Easters?”

Enrique Muñoz - Señor Ramon

“My job is to basically beat the shit out of you for the next 5 days, and whoever is still standing at the end, maybe we'll use for our scout teams. You'll be running the oppositions plays week in and week out. The greatest value to us is we don't care whether you get hurt.”

John Beasley - Coach Warren

“I lost my sister, my social life, my disposable income, my ability to fit into a size 2, and, this just in, my job. Pretty much the only two things that haven't disappeared are my nicotine fits and a few pounds that have recently taken up residence on my ass.”

Kate Hudson - Helen Harris

“Nothing wrong with a man taking pleasure in his work. I won't deny my own personal desire to turn each sin against the sinner.”
Kevin Spacey - John Doe

My name's Snake. I don't like speech. I never even signed up for it. And I ain't got no hobbies, unless you call collecting-knives-and-putting-tattoos-across-the-foreheads-of-guys-I-don’t-like “hobbies”.
Jacob Vargas - Snake

“- Ivan Alexeev: You look ravishing and I'd like to chew on your thighs.
- Samantha Gregory: I thought we had a professional relationship.
- Ivan Alexeev: So I'll pay.”
John Cusack - Ivan Alexeev
Mary Crosby - Samantha Gregory

“- Loan broker: So, you found your dream house. And right now you're asking First Boise Savings & Loan to give you a mortgage.
- Arlo Pear: As you can see, I've had the same job for 15 years.
- Loan broker: Well, that's very nice, but it's not enough. I mean, Al Capone had the same job for 30 years.”
Rodney Dangerfield - Loan Broker
Richard Pryor - Arlo Pear

“It's not the profit. It's the pleasure.”

Dennis Quaid - Bowen

“- Mr. Grey: Do you really wanna be my secretary?
- Lee Holloway: Yes, I do.
- Mr. Grey: This isn't just about typos, tapes, staples and pencils, is it, Lee?
- Lee Holloway: No, sir.”
James Spader - Mr. Grey
Maggie Gyllenhaal - Lee Holloway

“This job would be great if it wasn't for the fucking customers.”
Jeff Anderson - Randal Graves

“- Confederate Recruiter: Occupation?
- Johnnie Gray: Soldier!”

Frank Hagney - Confederate Recruiter
Buster Keaton - Johnnie Gray

“We aren't hunting a fox, we're hunting a man. He's an oldish man, with a wife. Oh, I know it's war and it's our job to do it, but that doesn't prevent it being murder - simple murder!”
Sir John Gielgud - Brodie

“- Frank Abagnale, Jr.: Stop chasing me!
- Carl Hanratty: I can't stop, it's my job.”
Leonardo DiCaprio - Frank Abagnale Jr.

“You sit in there and try to cut somebody's head and gotta worry about this fool over there trying to shank you. But let me tell you somethin'. At the end of the day I was glad I was here.”

Cedric the Entertainer - Eddie

“I deliver food for six years. Plus, I'm stripper. But I've gained weight so that's a problem.”
Rob Schneider - Delivery Guy

“- Doug Remer: We win, and they get the chicks. That sucks, dude.
- Joe Cooper: I'm telling you, it's jobs. We gotta get jobs. Then we get the khakis. Then we get the chicks.”
Matt Stone - Doug Remer
Trey Parker - Joe Cooper

“- Sarah Harding: I'm sick of scratching around in rock and bone, making assumptions about the nurturing habits of animals that have been dead for 65 million years. Then you fill my head with stories. Of course I came down here.
- Ian Malcolm: Stories of mutilation and death.”
Julianne Moore - Sarah Harding
Jeff Goldblum - Ian Malcolm

“- Slannen: I want to be a lawyer.
- Benny: I guess that would be in small claims court.”

Aidan McArdle - Slannen
Jimi Mistry - Benny

“- Dennis: Seriously, you guys should move out to L.A.
- Eliot: Sure, why not? Vinny can act, Ray can paint, and I can find some other fucking job I hate.”
Kevin Bacon - Dennis
John Malkovich - Eliot

“- Darren Head: Don't you guys ever really get scared? I mean this job is so dangerous.
- Terry: I'm immune to danger. I - I dance with danger. I walk up to danger and tug it on the ears and sneer at it and make funny faces at it.”
Bobby Slayton - Darren Head
Billy Bob Thornton - Terry Collins

“Greetings, Starfighter. You have been recruited by the Star League to defend the frontier against Xur and the Ko-Dan armada.”
Robert Preston - Centauri

“- Dave Kovic: I've always wondered about you guys. About how you're trained to take a bullet for the President?
- Duane Stevenson: What about it?
- Dave Kovic: Is that really true? I mean, would you let yourself be killed to save his life?
- Duane Stevenson: Certainly.”
Kevin Kline - Dave Kovic
Ving Rhames - Duane Stevenson

“- Leona: Honey, you'd do just fine if you just used your head a little more.
- Daisy: Yeah, well, don't worry about me. I'm gonna slingin' pizza for the rest of my life!”
Conchata Ferrell - Leona
Julia Roberts - Daisy

“- Will Carlson: Shine bumbers if you want. I'm sure you'll make a killing. But that's how it all starts, crappy job here, crappy job there. Next thing you know, you're living on the dole, wondering where your life went. Your problem, zero patience.
- Syd Gilbert: You're right. I should make my living dancing around like a mongoloid on a bad...” (continue)(continue reading)
Brian O'Halloran - Will Carlson
Bryan Johnson - Syd Gilbert

“Every hooker I ever speak to tells me that it beats the hell out of waitressing. Waitressing's gotta be the worst fucking job in the world.”
Woody Allen - Harry Block