Lawyers quotes

“You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law. You have the right to an attorney. If you cannot afford an attorney, a really fucked-up one will be provided for you.”
Anthony Mackie - Agent Shavers

“- Principal Claude Rolle: Two of your students are in the nurse's office talking a lawsuit right now.
- Shale: Why, is the nurse a lawyer?”
Ernie Hudson - Principal Claude Rolle
Tom Berenger - Jonathan Shale

“- Kermit the Frog: I'm your attorney, that's the only way they'd let me in here.
- Miss Piggy: Oh, right! Oh, I've missed you so... Rosenthal. It's been an eternity.
- Kermit the Frog: It's been forty-five minutes.
- Miss Piggy: Time goes slow in the cooler.”
Jim Henson - Kermit the Frog
Frank Oz - Miss Piggy

“- Martin Rose: There is doubt.
- Melissa: You lawyers, you like your fucking doubt, don't you? Well, I can't use doubt. I can only use certainty. I need certain knowledge in order to do my job.”
Eric Bana - Martin Rose
Anne-Marie Duff - Melissa

“You don't want to quit me, I'm your dream client: I'm the most fun, I'm rich, and I'm always in trouble.”

Woody Harrelson - Larry Flynt

Personal injury law has a bad reputation. They call us "ambulance chasers", "bottom feeders", "vultures that prey on the misfortunes of others", if that's true, why do I lay awake at nights worrying about my clients why does their pain become my pain? I wish I could find some way not to empathize, it'd be a lot easier.
John Travolta - Jan Schlichtmann

“You have the right to remain silent, so shut the fuck up, okay? You have the right to an attorney. If you can't afford an attorney, we'll provide you with the dumbest fucking lawyer on earth. If you get Johnny Cochrane, I'll kill ya!”
Chris Rock - Detective Lee Butters

“- Mattie Ross: Do you need a good lawyer?
- Lucky Ned Pepper: I need a good judge...”
Hailee Steinfeld - Mattie Ross
Barry Pepper - Lucky Ned Pepper

“- Sully: I should have known better than to hire a one-legged lawyer.
- Wirf: You can't afford a two-legged lawyer.”
Paul Newman - Sully
Gene Saks - Wirf

“- Alex Jurel: There's nothing worse than a female lawyer with a cause.
- Lisa Hammond: Except a male teacher without one.”
Nick Nolte - Alex Jurel
JoBeth Williams - Lisa Hammond

“Lawyers are a waste of oxygen.”
Emilio Rivera - Salvadoran Man

“- Mike: What do you call a thousand lawyers buried up to their necks in sand?
- Johnny: What?
- Mike: Not enough sand.”
Christopher Walken - Mike
Mars Callahan - Johnny

“Lawyers are the devil's ministry.”
Al Pacino - John Milton

“There are one hundred and fifty lawyers down there. Couldn't they find someone who didn't fuck her to handle the case?”

Bonnie Bedelia - Barbara Sabich

“The odds of a plaintiff's lawyer winning in civil court are two to one against. Think about that for a second. Your odds of surviving a game of Russian roulette are better than winning a case at trial. 12 times better. So why does anyone do it? They don't. They settle. Out of the 780,000, only 12,000 or 11/2 percent ever reach a verdict. The...” (continue)(continue reading)
John Travolta - Jan Schlichtmann

“I tell you Joey, every fucking lawyer on the face of the earth ought to be killed.”
Paul Sorvino - Tommie Morolto

“I'm going to need a lawyer, a very, very good lawyer, an expensive lawyer.”
Harrison Ford - Rusty Sabich

“- Claire Kubik: Lieutenant, I am an attorney. May I please see the charging document?
- Lt. Embry: We call it a charge sheet.
- Claire Kubik: Fabulous. May I see it?”
Ashley Judd - Claire Kubik
Adam Scott - Lt. Terrence Embry

“- North: Do I need a lawyer?
- Winchell: North, this is America. Everybody needs a lawyer.”
Elijah Wood - North
Matthew McCurley - Winchell

“- Vinny Gambini: Uh... everything that guy just said is bullshit... Thank you.
- Jim Trotter III: Objection. Counsel's entire opening statement is argumentative.
- Judge Chamberlain Haller: Sustained. Counselor's entire opening statement... with the exception of thank you... will be stricken from the record.”
Joe Pesci - Vinny Gambini
Lane Smith - Jim Trotter III
Fred Gwynne - Judge Chamberlain Haller

“- Harry Pfarrer: You work for Tuchman Marsh?
- Tuchman Marsh Man: Yes.
- Harry Pfarrer: Is that a law firm?
- Tuchman Marsh Man: No, a rock band, yes it's a law firm...”
George Clooney - Harry Pfarrer
Kevin Sussman - Tuchman Marsh Man

“Claus, let me explain something to you: the less you tell me, the more options I have.”
Ron Silver - Alan Dershowitz

“For the lawyer as well as the soldier, there is an equally imperative command. That duty is to shelter from injustice the innocent, to protect the weak from oppression, and when necessity demands, to rally to the defense of those being wronged.”
James McAvoy - Frederick Aiken

“I'll bet what you hated the most is that they identified me as a co-founder of Facebook, which I am. You better lawyer up, asshole. 'Cause I'm not coming back for 30%. I'm coming back for everything.”

Andrew Garfield - Eduardo Saverin

“- Big Lou Kritski: I'm gonna get a new lawyer, a white judge and an appeal.
- Naomi: On what grounds?
- Big Lou Kritski: On the grounds that you piss me off.”
Vincent Gardenia - Big Lou Kritski
Madolyn Smith Osborne - Naomi Bensinger