Medicine quotes

“GSW: that's what the hospitals call it: gunshot wound. Doctor has to report it to the police. That makes it hard for guys in my line to get what I call, quality health care.”
Mel Gibson - Porter

“- Molly Jensen: Carl, are you all right?
- Carl Bruner: It's just my stomach! Do you have anything like Pepto Bismol or something like that?
- Sam Wheat: Cyanide!”
Demi Moore - Molly Jensen
Tony Goldwyn - Carl Bruner
Patrick Swayze - Sam Wheat

“Sometimes it feels like we're all living in a Prozac nation. The United States of Depression.”
Christina Ricci - Elizabeth

“There must and shall be aspirin!”

Richard R. Grant - Withnail

“As we in the medical field call it... the ball sack.”

Tim Meadows - Leon Phelps

“- Leah: Wow, this is huge.
- Osmosis Jones: Don't be all impressed, 'cause 99% of that is just sugar you know.
- Leah: Yeah, and 99% of you is just stupid.
- Osmosis Jones: Ooh, like I haven't heard that one before.”
Brandy Norwood - Leah
Chris Rock - Osmosis Jones

“- Sully: Which one of your fancy doctors advised you to drink, smoke, and screw your brains out?
- Carl Roebuck: Those are unreasonable requests Sully. They wouldn't of made 'em if they didn't know me.
- Sully: If they'd known ya, they wouldn't have fixed ya.”
Paul Newman - Sully
Bruce Willis - Carl Roebuck

“- Carpetbagger: [holds up a bottle of patent medicine] This is it... one dollar a bottle. It works wonders on wounds.
- Josey Wales: Works wonders on just about everything, eh?
- Carpetbagger: It can do most anything.
- Josey Wales: [spits tobacco juice on the carpetbagger's coat] How is it with stains?”
Woodrow Parfrey - Carpetbagger
Clint Eastwood - Josey Wales

“- Lloyd Fellowes: I'm starting to know what God felt like when He sat out there in the darkness, creating the world.
- Belinda Blair: And what did He feel like, Lloyd my dear?
- Lloyd Fellowes: Very pleased He'd taken His Valium.”
Sir Michael Caine - Lloyd Fellowes
Marilu Henner - Belinda Blair

“- Captain Monica Stark: Ms. Barnes, why am I feeling a sense of deja vu?
- Bettina Barnes: I have a breath mint in my purse, sweetie - will that help?”
Charles Busch - Captain Monica Stark
Kimberley Davies - Bettina Barnes

“- Samantha Taylor: That looks bad, have you taken anything for it?
- George Webber: Yes, I took four of your birth control pills, I hope that's okay.
- Samantha Taylor: Try an antihistimine.
- George Webber: I don't like those, they make me pregnant.”

Julie Andrews - Samantha Taylor
Dudley Moore - George Webber

“Anesthesia's the easiest job in the world until something goes wrong. It's 99% boredom and 1% scared-shitless panic.”
Tom Borut - Dr. Cowans

“I need a valium the size of a hockey puck.”
Woody Allen - Danny Rose

“- Mayor Clarence: I know people look at me and think that I'm just the man behind the aspirin counter, but inside I love you.
- Maureen Schuster: How lucky I am!”
Fred MacMurray - Mayor Clarence
Olivia Mary de Beauvoir de Havilland - Maureen Schuester

“- Dolores Claiborne: How is that going to help?
- Selena St. George: Because in ten minutes, I'm gonna be fine.
- Dolores Claiborne: Selena...
- Selena St. George: Just give me ten minutes!”

Kathy Bates - Dolores Claiborne
Jennifer Jason Leigh - Selena St. George

“- Charlie: I have to take a pill every six hours or I feel... funny. No big deal.
- Irene: What's it called?
- Charlie: Advanced delusionary schizophrenia with involuntary narcissistic rage.”
Jim Carrey - Charlie
Renee Zellweger - Irene

I come in here, I give these things to you, you check, you make your phone calls, look suspicious, ask questions. I'm sick. I have sickness all around me and you fucking ask me about my life? "What's wrong?" Have you seen death in your bed? In your house? Where's your fucking decency? And then I'm asked fucking questions. What's... wrong? You... (continue)(continue reading)

Julianne Moore - Linda Partridge

“- Debbie, 6-Year-Old Girl: You look sick.
- Garland 'The Marietta Mangler' Greene: I am sick.
- Debbie, 6-Year-Old Girl: Do you take medicine?
- Garland 'The Marietta Mangler' Greene: There is no medicine for what I have.”
Lauren Pratt - Debbie, 6-Year-Old Girl
Steve Buscemi - Garland 'The Marietta Mangler' Greene

- Dennis Van Welker: Don't forget your pills. 4 every hour.
- "Mud": Uh Dennis? that's 1 every 4 hours.
- Dennis Van Welker: No way, let me see that. Oh... not the first time that mistake's gotten me in trouble.
Chris Lloyd - Dennis Van Welker
Jonathan Jackson - Morris 'Mud' Himmel

“- John Merrick: There's something I've been meaning to ask you for some time now.
- Frederick Treves: What's that?
- John Merrick: Can you cure me?
- Frederick Treves: No. We can care for you, but we can't cure you.
- John Merrick: No. I thought not.”
Sir John Hurt - John Merrick
Philip Anthony Hopkins - Frederick Treves

“- Marion: What do I give him when we take him in front of the judge?
- Loomis: Thorazine.
- Marion: He'll barely be able to sit up!
- Loomis: That's the idea.”

Nancy Stephens - Marion
Donald Pleasence - Loomis

“- Jackie: What're you doing here?
- Browning: Having cough medicine, what're you doing here?
- Jackie: This isn't cough medicine, it's brandy.
- Browning: So I lied.”
Jane Seymour - Jackie
Chevy Chase - Browning

“- Young Dr. Chung: I have one sorrow, Lieutenant. That we did not have the medicine to ease your pain.
- Ted Lawson: You saved my life, Doc.”
Benson Fong - Young Dr. Chung
Van Johnson - Ted Lawson

“- Dr. Wynn: It's no prank; you're the one I've chosen Sam. I want you to come back.
- Dr. Loomis: After my stroke six years ago they practically had to hold a pistol to my head to get me to retire. But things are different now, I'm different. I've buried the ghosts, I've buried them in this manuscript. I don't want to practise medicine anymore.”
Mitchell Ryan - Dr. Wynn
Donald Pleasence - Loomis

“- Augusto Odone: They've got Lorenzo on a turvy-topsy diet. And that bloody immunosuppression is brutal and useless. Michaela, we should not have consigned him blindly into their hands. He should not suffer by our ignorance. We take responsibility. So... we read a little. And we go out and inform ourselves.
- Michaela Odone: But... to miss time...” (continue)(continue reading)

Nick Nolte - Augusto Odone
Susan Sarandon - Michaela Odone