Men quotes

“You ever seen a man's brains? I've seen them. I've picked them up, scooped them up. Put them in, do them up like brains. Are you buying brains?”
Himself - Claude Register

“- Shanna: Do guys like the thing?
- Arlene: They like it better than no thing.”
Jordan Ladd - Shanna
Vanessa Ferlito - Arlene

“Which one are you crying about, the predatory prick or the shit-for-brains tramp? Because neither one deserves your tears.”
Brooke Smith - Amy

“- Joey Gazelle: I'll be quick and real quiet. Come on.
- Teresa Gazelle: Quiet? I don't think so. Quick? I can believe.”

Paul William Walker IV - Joey Gazelle
Vera Farmiga - Teresa Gazelle

“An officer and a gentleman does not strike a lady!”
Tommy Lee Jones - Chip Hazard

“You see, ladies, men have three basic needs in life: eating, sleeping, sex. That's our whole day. I can do all three of those in my truck. By myself. In traffic!”
Bill Engvall - Himself

“Why is it when men play, they always play at killing each other?”
Gwyneth Paltrow - Marge Sherwood

“Guys can fake it? Unbelievable! The one thing that's ours!”
Courteney Cox - Monica Geller

“Men: can't live with them, can't live... nope, that's it.”
Regina King - Sam Fuller

“A woman is said to be worth her weight in hens. And a man's wealth is measured by the size of his cock.”
Robin Williams - Armand Goldman

“Keep Patty away from Larry - suck the intelligence right out of her.”
Steve Martin - Gil

“I'll tell you one thing. Men are bastards. After about ten minutes I wanted to cut my own penis off with a kitchen knife.”
Hugh Grant - Will Freeman

“You can trust horses. They don't let you down. People always let you down. Especially men.”
Lynn Whitfield - Brandi Web

- Wyatt Trips: You are an incubus. A hell-spawned incubus.
- Ivy Miller: Only a male can be an incubus, if anything, I'm a sucubus.
- Wyatt Trips: Yeah, you got the "suck" part right.
Paul Rudd - Wyatt Trips
Reese Witherspoon - Ivy Miller

“If a guy wants to be with a girl, he will make it happen, no matter what.”
Ginnifer Goodwin - Gigi

“You're a man with ideals. Well, I guess I better be going while you still got them.”

Mae West - Flower Belle Lee

“- Cindy: Girls have to do everything. Boys are totally clueless when it comes to sex. It starts with them trying to unhook our bras, fumbling around, and it never changes. Wait until they try to put their dick into you.
- Diana: Please don't say they need help with that.
- Cindy: Always.”
Kristen Miller - Cindy
Jessica Driscoll - Diana, Principal's Secretary

“- King: I just wish I could be the man you deserve.
- Queen: You are more that man now than you ever were, warts and all.”
John Marwood Cleese - King
Julie Andrews - Queen

“That must be Lord Farquaad's castle... Do you think he's maybe compensating for something?”

Mike Myers - Shrek

“- Donna De Angelo: How come you're not married? Sorry, if you don't want to say...
- Joe Gastineau: Probably the same reason you're not married.
- Donna De Angelo: Because such a high percentage of men are jerks?
- Joe Gastineau: No.
- Donna De Angelo: Because women are scarce and winters are long?
- Joe Gastineau: That's true, but...
- Donna De...” (continue)(continue reading)
Mary Elizabeth Mastrantonio - Donna De Angelo
David Strathairn - Joe Gastineau

“No man dies of love but on the stage.”
Frances O'Connor - Fanny Price

“I'm a mog: half man, half dog. I'm my own best friend!”
John Candy - Barf

“- Lady Bracknell: Do you smoke?
- Jack: Well, Lady Bracknell, I am bound to say, yes, I do smoke.
- Lady Bracknell: That is well. A man should always have an occupation.”
Dame Judi Dench - Lady Bracknell
Colin Firth - Jack

“Women have choices, and men have responsibilities.”
Steve Martin - Gil

“- King Marchand: I just find it hard to believe that you're a man.
- Victoria Grant: Because you found me attractive as a woman?
- King Marchand: Yes, as a matter of fact.
- Victoria Grant: That happens frequently.”
James Garner - King Marchand
Julie Andrews - Victoria Grant