Men quotes

“I swear to God, I can't stand them when they get drunk, and belive me I have learned that you do not want to mess with them when they get that way. You just gotta ride it out until it passes.”

Kristy McNichol - Patti Jean

“Women and me are like water and fire: wet and flammable.”
Leslie William Nielsen - Ryan Harrison

“The best place to meet a guy is at the supermarket. You see a guy holding a list, you know he's married. He's in the frozen food section carrying a small basket, he's single. I like to hang out by fruits and vegetables, there's a better chance of getting a guy who's healthy.”
Bess Wohl - Rebecca

“Let me shake hands with the man who would be Mom.”

Frank Langella - Noah Banes

“- Mollie: All right, I know what I'm looking for. I'm looking for a guy who's not married, not into drugs, not an alcoholic, not a deadbeat, but not somebody that works twenty hours a day.
- Rona: And cute.
- Mollie: Cute is not a consideration.”
Kirstie Alley - Mollie
Twink Caplan - Rona

“Dead men can't give orders.”
Paul Cavanagh - Martin Arlington

You know that whole deal about "penis envy"? Not true. No. Half of women don't even like it. You know who has penis envy? We do. That's why we cheat and we lie, because we're all obsessed with our own equipment!
Mel Gibson - Nick Marshall

“- Dr. Diane Turner: Ever since the women's movement, most of the men I meet go out of their way to show you how sensitive they are. Before, they were too macho, and now they're too... soft. You all want us to know you can cry.
- Thornton Melon: No, with women, I never cry. Never. I beg.”
Sally Kellerman - Dr. Diane Turner
Rodney Dangerfield - Thornton Melon

“I've had it with men. They are so fascinated by their own crap. It took me four years to get the last one out. These days my idea of a hot date is a long shower by myself before bed.”
Alfre Woodard - Lily

“- Martin: You love me! Has there been a day in the last five years that we haven't talked?
- Liz: But you're more like a gay friend than a boyfriend.
- Martin: But I'm not gay!”
Daniel Brocklebank - Martin
Thora Birch - Liz

“- Jocelyn: Better a silly girl with a flower than a silly boy with a horse and a stick.
- Wat: It's called a lance. Hello?”
Shannyn Sossamon - Jocelyn
Alan Tudyk - Wat

“Until now, Madame Leonowens, I did not understand the supposition man can be satisfied with only one woman.”
Chow Yun-Fat - King Mongkut

“- Nicky: I like sleeping with you.
- Gloria: You're not the first guy to tell me that.”
Jean-Luke Figueroa - Nicky
Sharon Stone - Gloria

“- Debra: You like to learn. And you're in your 30's and still in school. And you live with your mother and you're okay with that.
- Flynn Carsen: No. Wait. I have to change my life.”
Lisa Brenner - Debra
Noah Wyle - Flynn Carsen

“Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes.”
Jim Carrey - Bruce Nolan

“Men can't be friends with women Howard. They must posses them or leave them be. It's a primitive urge from caveman days. It's all in Darwin. Hunt the flesh. Kill the flesh. Eat the flesh. That's the, ah, male sex all over.”
Cate Blanchett - Katharine Hepburn

“It's my first day as a woman, already it's that time of the month.”

John Cameron Mitchell - Hedwig

“- Drunk: Are you MacLeod?
- MacLeod: Yes, I am.
- Drunk: Great. I always wanted to meet the guy that turned the world to shit.”
Rusty Schwimmer - Drunk
Christopher Lambert - Duncan McLeod

“- Butch: What's she looking at? She acts like she's never seen a man before.
- Queen Lara: She hasn't. Have you, Alpha-Beta?
- Alpha Beta: No, My Queen. What are men good for?
- Butch: I'm pretty good in the backseat of a Studebaker...”
Joey Travolta - Butch
Sybil Danning - Queen Lara
Lana Clarkson - Alpha Beta

- Brice: Try not to fraternize with the men. They can be a little... strange.
- Claire: Strange, as in superstitious?
- Brice: As in "strange".
Bruce Greenwood - Brice
Olivia Williams - Claire

“It's not easy to find a man you can wake up happy next to.”
Lolita Davidovich - Blaze Starr

“Men. Boys. What's the difference?”
Dee Hepburn - Dorothy

“- Ace: So, is Kit short for Katherine?
- Kit: Yes. Is Ace short for... Ace-a-rooney?”
Justin Bartha - Ace
Zooey Deschanel - Kit

“You know what people say? There are no women who can't come, only men who can't fuck.”
Monica Bellucci - Alex

“- Luis Molina: No matter how lonely she may be she keeps men at a distance.
- Valentin Arregui: She's probably got bad breath or something.”
William Hurt - Luis Molina
Raul Julia - Valentin Arregui