Mocking quotes

“Blanche, would you stop pointing your finger at me and yelling. You got two other husbands here to do that with.”

Walter Matthau - Oscar Madison

“My life is over, that's it. But while all ya'll are out here livin' yours, sitting around talking about the nigger who lost it back in high school, you make sure you tell them the truth. You tell them I loved that girl! I did! But I got played!”
Mekhi Phifer - Odin James

“- Polly Prince: You wanna come upstairs and have sex?
- Reuben Feffer: Huh?
- Polly Prince: I'm kidding!”
Jennifer Aniston - Polly Prince
Ben Stiller - Reuben Feffer

“- Jerry Falgout: Can I buy you a drink, Lieutenant? As I recall, you used to get kinda thirsty 'bout this time of day.
- Dave Robicheaux: Hey, you're gettin' in my face, partner.
- Jerry Falgout: So?
- Dave Robicheaux: So right about now I'm thinkin' your head'd make a real nice toilet brush.”
Tuck Milligan - Jerry Falgout
Alec Baldwin - Dave Robicheaux

“- Danny: I would marry you tomorrow! I would have children with you, dozens and dozens of children!
- Taxi Driver: Let's hope they look like the mother.”

Jude Law - Danny
Don Pugsley - Taxi Driver

“- Sassy: Even a great beauty needs her beauty sleep!
- Chance: Beauty sleep? You'd have to sleep for, like, a month!”
Sally Field - Sassy
Michael J. Fox - Chance

“The truth is I wanted to kill George Lambert, but I don't think I could have done it. I'm too weak. I'm a coward. Everyone knows it; even the prosecutor. That's why he's making fun of me.”
Charles Laughton - Albert Lory

“- Peggy Ann Snow: Were you laughing every second?
- Corky: Peg, I...
- Peggy Ann Snow: Was I funny, you bastard son-of-a-bitch?”
Ann-Margret - Peggy Ann Snow
Philip Anthony Hopkins - Corky

“Just because he's got those big ears, they call him a freak. The laughing stock of the circus. And when his mother tried to protect him, they threw her into the clink.”

Edward Brophy - Timothy Q. Mouse

“I don't know why I always take it for granted that you're kidding.”

Myrna Loy - Nora Charles

“What's the use of talking to you cold-hearted boids? Go ahead! Have your fun! Laugh at him! Kick him now that he's down! Go on! We don't care.”

Edward Brophy - Timothy Q. Mouse

“- Yaz: The last guy that made fun of my hair is still trying to pull his head outta his ass.
- Jack Quinn: I don't wanna know about your sex life.”
Dennis Keith Rodman - Yaz
Jean-Claude Van Damme - Jack Quinn

“- McKenzie: Will ya look at that, they're putting a bloody Sheila on the team!
- Sargie 'Fumblina' Wilkinson: We'll be the laughing stock of college football.
- Charlie Banks: What do you think we are now?”

Louis Mandylor - McKenzie
Marcus Giamatti - Sargie 'Fumblina' Wilkinson
Andrew Lauer - Charlie Banks

“Don't kid a kidder, kid.”
Steve Buscemi - Happy Franks

“- Rocky Sullivan: Say, you turned out to be a pretty snappy-looking dish.
- Laury Martin: Thanks.
- Rocky Sullivan: For a sociable worker.
- Laury Martin: Thanks again.”
James Cagney - Rocky Sullivan

“- Fargo: Well, well, well... what do we have here? The game's over, bitch. This time you're dead for sure. First, I'm gonna fuck you. Then, I'm gonna slice you into little pieces.
- Brenda: Sounds nice and kinky to me. Too bad you're not double-jointed.
- Fargo: Why?
- Brenda: Because if it were, you'd be able to bend over and kiss your ass...” (continue)(continue reading)
Sal Landi - Fargo
Linda Blair - Brenda

“- Jack Taylor: What's this I hear about you making fun of midgets?
- Tom Stansfield: I never make fun of midgets!
- Jack Taylor: You said, it would be fun to date one because then you could rest your beer on their head, now I have a sense of humour, but that's just sick.”
Terence Stamp - Jack Taylor
Ashton Kutcher - Tom Stansfield

“Fighting is one thing, but bad jokes is where I draw the line!”
Bubba Smith - Moses Hightower

“- Colonel Mustard: How can you make jokes at a time like this?
- Miss Scarlet: It's my defense mechanism.
- Colonel Mustard: Some defense. If I was the killer, I would kill you next.”
Martin Mull - Colonel Mustard
Lesley Ann Warren - Miss Scarlet

“- Private Drake: They ain't paying us enough for this, man.
- Corporal Dietrich: Not enough to have to wake up to your face, Drake.
- Private Drake: What? Is that a joke?
- Corporal Dietrich: Oh, I wish it were.”
Mark Rolston - Private Drake
Cynthia Dale Scott - Corporal Dietrich

“- Dave: Hell, I don't want to go to college Dad. To hell with them. I'm proud of being a cutter.
- Dad: You're not a cutter. I'm a cutter.”
Dennis Christopher - Dave
Paul Dooley - Dad

“You'll make somebody a fine wife.”

Dana Elcar - Dimitri Moisevitch

- Herman: Boy, that Dick sure knows how to drink, huh?
- Frank Cross: Why do you keep calling me "Dick"?
- Herman: I'm sorry, Mr. Burton, I guess we don't know you well enough yet to call you Dick.
Michael J. Pollard - Herman
Bill Murray - Frank Cross

“- Dick Stensland: I got a hot date.
- Bud White: Yeah? Who is she and what did you arrest her for?”
Graham Beckel - Dick Stensland
Russell Crowe - Bud White

“- Clifford Muckle - Boy in Bank: Mommy, doesn't that man have a funny nose?
- Mrs. Muckle - Mother in Bank: You mustn't make fun of the gentleman, Clifford. You'd like to have a nose like that full of nickels, wouldn't you?”

Bobby Larson - Clifford Muckle - Boy in Bank
Jan Duggan - Mrs. Muckle - Mother in Bank