Telephone quotes

“Now, I'm surprisingly ineffective on the telephone so I find there are four basic requirements I need on making the first call. Number 1: visual stimulants. Number 2: other stimulants. Number 3: mood music. And, most importantly, number 4: a tight and effective working script.”
Dexter Fletcher - Charles Highway

“If you think you're having a heart attack and you're going to die, call me first, okay? No use wasting money on the bus if you're just gonna be dead when I get here.”

Kate Hudson - Emma Dinsmore

“It used to be a mark of insanity to see people talk to themselves now it's a mark of status, and speed dial is quickly replacing the drop of a coin. Despite an increase usage of cellular devices, an estimated four and a half million residents and two million visitors still utilize payphones on a regular basis.”

“Hey, this is Phil. Leave me a message, or don't, but do me a favor: don't text me, it's gay.”

Bradley Cooper - Phil

“- The Caller: Think about it. Why would a guy with a cell phone call a woman everyday from a phone booth?
- Pamela McFadden: He said it was quiet.
- The Caller: Pam, that's just stupid.”
Kiefer Sutherland - The Caller
Katie Holmes - Pamela McFadden

“Although we are constantly exploring the subject, currently there is no direct evidence that links cellphone usage to brain cancer.”
Aaron Eckhart - Nick Naylor

- Lowell Bergman: I want you to tell him, in these words: "Get on the fucking phone!".
- The Hotel Worker: I can't say that.
- Lowell Bergman: No, you can. Tell him to get on the fucking phone!
- The Hotel Worker: He told me to tell you to "Get on the... fucking phone!".

Al Pacino - Lowell Bergman

“Phone. Home.
[pointing at the window]
E.T. home phone.”
Pat Welsh - E.T.

“Who is gonna witness for me? We got the Lord on the line! Who's gonna take the call? Please don't leave god on hold!”
Harold Surratt - Pastor Lester

“I miss the days when you had one phone number and one answering machine and that one answering machine has one cassette tape and that one cassette tape either had a message from a guy or it didn't. And now you just have to go around checking all these different portals just to get rejected by seven different technologies. It's exhausting.”
Drew Barrymore - Mary

“- Emma Dinsmore: Does the fact that you called seventeen times last night with no response from me send any kind of signal to you?
- Alex Sheldon: I mean, I'm not an idiot. I figured you probably wanted to talk to me but that your machine was broken.”
Kate Hudson - Emma Dinsmore
Luke Wilson - Alex Sheldon

“- Agent Simmons: Nokias are real nasty. You've gotta respect the Japanese. They know the way of the samurai.
- Maggie Madsen: Nokia's from Finland.”

John Turturro - Agent Simmons
Rachael Taylor - Maggie Madsen

“- Elliot Wilhelm: When are you going to call me?
- Chili Palmer: When your phone rings.”
The Rock - Elliot Wilhelm
John Travolta - Chili Palmer

“- Ashtray: Nigga, you ain't getting nobody's number.
- Loc Dog: Fool, watch me.
[walks over to the woman and smiles at her]
- Loc Dog: Hey, sweetheart.
[pulls his gun out of his waistband and points it at her head]
- Loc Dog: Break you'self! Gimme your goddamn number! Come on! Hurry up! Come on!”
Shawn Wayans - Ashtray
Marlon Wayans - Loc Dog

“My name's Harry Pepper if you ever have any trouble with line, do me a favor, don't ask for Harry Pepper.”
Herb Edelman - Harry Pepper

“- Pervert on Phone: Come on, be a good little girl and put your vagina up to the phone!
- Shelley: Shove it, fuckwad!”
John Waters - Pervert on Phone
Christina Ricci - Shelley

- Drew Baylor: I'm gonna have to call you back.
- Heather Baylor: Okay, just dial "hell" and I'll answer.
Orlando Bloom - Drew Baylor
Judy Greer - Heather Baylor

“- Cpl. Jefferson: The Pentagon called, sir.
- Col. John T. Hall: Pentagon? How did they get my number?”
Cheryl Francis Harrington - Cpl. Jefferson
Dan Aykroyd - Col. John T. Hall

“Do you know how hard it is to find a quality man in Los Angeles?”

Cameron Diaz - Natalie Cook

“- Paul Varjak: I...I hate to, uh...I hate to bother you, but if I could ask one more favor...could I use the phone?
- Holly Golightly: Sure. Why not?
- Paul Varjak: Thank you. Well, this is a...nice little place you’ve got here. You just moved in, too, huh?
- Holly Golightly: No. I’ve been here about a year. The phone’s over there.
Well, it was....” (continue)(continue reading)
George Peppard - Paul Varjak
Audrey Hepburn - Holly Golightly

“- Laura Garrety: Are you calling me from jail?
- Kyle Fisher: Not yet...”
Cameron Diaz - Laura Garrety
Jon Favreau - Kyle Fisher

“This is C.W. Grimes and associates. If you wanna talk to Charlie you should leave a message after the beep. If you wanna talk to Delilah, you should get your head examined!”

Morgan Freeman - Charles W. Grimes

“Hi, this is Anna. Only three people have this number. If you're not one of them, leave me alone.”

Jenna Elfman - Anna Riley

“Ya?... Hi Joan. How are you doin?... Ahh, it's gotta be Kevin's... Victor? How could it be Victor's? Thought he got a vasectomy... It didn't take?”

Michael Keaton - Jack

- Daniel Hillard: Yeah, my name is Elsa Emmelman, and I want to know how many children do you have.
- Miranda Hillard: I have two girls and a boy.
- Daniel Hillard: Oh, a boy... I don't "werk" with the males, 'cause I used to be one.

Robin Williams - Daniel Hillard
Sally Field - Miranda Hillard