Telephone quotes

“- Sydney Ellen Wade: Oh. Your father's on the phone with his dentist?
- Lucy Shepherd: No, he told me to tell you he's on the phone with his dentist. He wants you to think he's a regular guy.
- Sydney Ellen Wade: Oh. Well, who's he on the phone with?
- Lucy Shepherd: The prime minister of Israel.”

Annette Bening - Sydney Ellen Wade
Shawna Waldron - Lucy Shepherd

“I'm calling from a pay phone because I can't get my piece of shit cell phone to work unless I stand on my head with my fingers up my ass!”
Sasha Alexander - Jackie Samantha Gold

“- Phone Voice: You still haven't told me your name.
- Casey Becker: [smiling] Why do you want to know my name?
- Phone Voice: Because I want to know who I'm looking at.”

Roger Jackson - Phone Voice
Drew Barrymore - Casey Becker

“- Stuart Little: Snowbell, I need more change.
- Snowbell: What do I look like, a fanny pack?”

Michael J. Fox - Stuart Little
Nathan Lane - Snowbell

“Hello? Debbie? Yeah, Debbie's here, who's this? Well, Ralph, uh, Debbie can't talk right now, my dick's in her mouth. How about if I have her call you back later when I'm done? ...I love wrong numbers.”

Danny DeVito - Sam Stone

“Take your phone off now, you're with a human being.”

Lily Tomlin - Janet

“- Jamie's Mom: Who are you going to call if there's any problem?
- Jamie: 911, Mommy.
- Jamie's Mom: Oh, such a good girl!”
Brie Hill Arbaugh - Jamie's Mom
Elle Fanning - Jamie

“- Herbert Arthur Runcible Cadbury: Excuse me, sir. It's a telephone call, from the President.
- Richard Rich Sr.: Which country?
- Herbert Arthur Runcible Cadbury: This one, sir.
- Richard Rich Sr.: Probably needs another loan.”
Jonathan Hyde - Herbert Arthur Runcible Cadbury
Edward Herrmann - Richard Rich

“Somebody took my phone number and called Afghanistan. I've never talked to anyone in Afghanistan, I don't know nobody in Afghanistan, and even if did know anyone, I wouldn't talk to that Afghan ass for three hours. I won't talk to my daddy for three hours.”
Chris Rock - Detective Lee Butters

“- Dr. Maggie Rice: Why do you wear the same clothes all the time? Why won't you give me your phone number? Are you married?
- Seth: No.
- Dr. Maggie Rice: Are you homeless?
- Seth: No.
- Dr. Maggie Rice: Are you a drummer?”
Meg Ryan - Dr. Maggie Rice
Nicolas Cage - Seth

“The phone! The phone! Where's the fucking phone?”
Janeane Garofalo - Beth

“If you tried to phone hell from here, it'd be a local call.”
Faizon Love - Robin Harris

“- D.C.: Why don't you just call her again?
- Lloyd Dobler: I draw the line at 7 unreturned phone calls.”
Amy Brooks - D.C.
John Cusack - Lloyd Dobler

“In the old days, we actually had to tap a wire into your phone line. Now with calls bouncing off satellites, they snatch'em right out of the air.”
Gabriel Byrne - Brill

- Jane Goodale: Who's Penelope Pope?
- Liz: I don't know, but that's what she said when I asked "Who the fuck is this?".

Ashley Judd - Jane Goodale
Marisa Tomei - Liz

“- Brenda: Chris I'm begging you, it's really scary here. I've just seen three people shoot up, a bald Chinese lady with no pants on, and there's this old guy outside who wants his bedroom slippers!
- Old Man: [banging on telephone booth] Get out of my house!
- Brenda: [kicks out a small box and the guy's slippers] You just moved!”

Penelope Ann Miller - Brenda
John Dee - Old Man

“- Charisse Dolittle: What am I supposed to do without my cell phone?
- Dr. John Dolittle: Here's some stamps. Learn how to write a letter or something.”
Raven-Symoné - Charisse Dolittle
Eddie Murphy - Dr. John Dolittle

“- Maxwell Smart: A stapler telephone? That's fantastic, Carruthers. Can it also be used as a stapler?
- Carruthers: No.
- Maxwell Smart: Oh, well, you'd better work on that.”
Don Adams - Maxwell Smart
Norman Lloyd - Carruthers

“- Robert Clayton Dean: What the hell is happening?
- Brill: I blew up the building.
- Robert Clayton Dean: Why?
- Brill: Because you made a phone call.”
Will Smith - Robert Clayton Dean
Gabriel Byrne - Brill

“- Laura: Here's Neal's mother's number.
- Scott Calvin: 1-800-Spank-me? I know that number.”
Wendy Crewson - Laura
Tim Allen - Scott Calvin

“Our hero, Sherman McCoy, was about to make a simple phone call. But despite the existence of 11 telephones, and 7 different lines, in 14 rooms of his 16-million-plus dollar apartment, this was a phone call he could not make at home.”
Bruce Willis - Peter Fallow

“- Steven Grlscz: I give them the card and tell them it's not something I normally do.
- Inspector Healey: And the number?
- Steven Grlscz: I don't use it to anything else.
- Inspector Healey: Why?
- Steven Grlscz: So I know who is calling when they call me.”

Jude Law - Steven Grlscz
Timothy Spall - Inspector Healey

“- Micki Salinger: I'll need a phone.
- Admissions Clerk: A phone in the labor room?
- Micki Salinger: Yes, and I don't suppose I could have a stenographer in the labor room?”

Ann Reinking - Micki Salinger
Hanna Hertelendy - Admissions Clerk

“The telephone has no constitutional right to be answered.”
Walter Matthau - Dan Snow

“You need sunglasses to talk on the phone? Are you freebasing, Michael? Inquiring minds want to know.”

Corey Haim - Sam