University quotes

“Lori's little plot was super lame. Poisoning a cupcake? Really? We're Kappas. We don't eat cupcakes.”

Rachel Matthews - Danielle Bouseman

“I figure if I study high, take the test high, get high scores! Right?”
Redman - Jamal King

“- Coach Herman Boone: What about you? You going to college?
- Louie Lastik: [laughs] No, not me coach. I ain't a brainiac like Rev.
- Coach Herman Boone: Think you got a future in football?
- Louie Lastik: Heck no! I figured as long I'm going to be in school, I might as well hit some people while I'm at it.”
Denzel Washington - Coach Herman Boone
Ethan Suplee - Louie Lastik

“- Eddie: Do you know where Harvard is?
- A.J.: It's near Boston.
- Eddie: No, I mean, do you really know where Harvard is? It's another planet man... another universe. Totally unlike the one we know. Filled with big blond guys who eat ivy and row boats.”
James 'Kimo' Wills - Eddie
Johnny Whitworth - A.J.

“In my first year of law school everybody loved everybody else, because we were all studying the law, and the law was a noble thing. By my third year you were lucky if you weren't murdered in your sleep. People stole exams, hid research materials from the library, and lied to the professors. Such is the nature of the profession.”
Matt Damon - Rudy Baylor

“- Will Hunting: The sad thing about a guy like you is, in 50 years you're gonna start doing some thinking on your own and you're going to come up with the fact that there are two certainties in life: one, don't do that, and two, you dropped 150 grand on a fucking education you could have got for a dollar fifty in late charges at the public...” (continue)(continue reading)

Matt Damon - Will Hunting
Scott William Winters - Clark

“Christ. Seven years of college down the drain. Might as well join the fucking Peace Corps.”

John Belushi - John Blutarsky

“- Deborah Clasky: You were an alcoholic and wildly promiscuous woman during my formative years so that I'm in this fix because of you, it is your fault and I just needed that moment for us to build on.
- Evelyn: You have a solid point dear... but right now the lessons of my life are coming in handy for you.”
Téa Leoni - Deborah Clasky
Cloris Leachman - Evelyn

“Think about it Josh, you're in college. The window of opportunity to drink and do drugs and take advantage of young girls is getting smaller by the day.”
Seann William Scott - E. L.

“- Phil Davis: All right, they didn't go to college. They didn't go to Smith.
- Bob Wallace: Go to Smith? She couldn't even spell it.”
Danny Kaye - Phil Davis
Bing Crosby - Bob Wallace

“- Kumar Patel: Excuse me officer. Let me take a couple of guesses. You were probably the big asshole in your high school, right?
- Officer Martone: Absolutely right.
- Kumar Patel: Used to pick on guys like us every day, right?
- Officer Martone: With pleasure.
- Kumar Patel: Then graduation day came, and we went to college, and you went nowhere...” (continue)(continue reading)
Brad Borbridge - Officer Martone

“I didn't go to college. I don't know anybody who did. Bunch of hippies and cesspool salesmen.”
Danny DeVito - Mr. Wormwood

I don't know why you let me go to University. It's like taking me to the top of the mountain and showing me the world, and then marching me back down, and saying, "That's what you can't have Benny, you silly great fat article. Here's what you can have: Knockglen for the rest of your life and married to Sean bloody Walsh"! I'd rather be married... (continue)(continue reading)
Minnie Driver - Benny

“Let me get this straight. You both went to the same school. Yet someone came back with a degree that's useful, and the other one came back as Asian Ellen.”
Ken Jeong - Wye Mun Goh

“Let us go around the table, and each of you ladies report who you are, where you're from, and why you're occupying a place at Harvard that could have gone to a man.”
Sam Waterston - Erwin Griswold

“- Sue O'Malley: What are you majoring in?
- Joel: Russian literature and Slavic languages.
- Sue O'Malley: Oh wow, that's pretty interesting. What career track is that?
- Joel: Cabby, hot dog vendor, marijuana delivery guy. The world is my oyster.”
Paige Howard - Sue O'Malley
Martin Starr - Joel

- Silas P. Silas: Shit, I'll fucks witcha!
- Jamal King: Shit, I'll fucks witcha, too!
- Philip Huntley: And that's a good thing?
- Jamal King: Yes. That's a "yes"!
- Philip Huntley: Then we'll 'fox' with each other.

Method Man - Silas P. Silas
Redman - Jamal King
Fred Willard - Philip Huntley

“Why do I want to attend Harvard? If I was white, would you even have to ask me that question?”
Shameik Moore - Malcolm

“- Prince Henry: Mother, Father, I want to build a university, with the largest library on the continent, where anyone can study, no matter their station!
- King Francis: All right... who are you... and what have you done with my son?
- Prince Henry: [laughs] Oh, and I want to invite the gypsies to the ball!”
Dougray Scott - Prince Henry
Timothy West - King Francis

“That's the beauty of college these days, Tommy! You can major in Game Boy if you know how to bullshit.”
Jeremy Piven - James 'Droz' Andrews

“- Brooke: I never went to college. I'm an autodidact. Do you know what that means?
- Tracy: Yes.
- Brooke: That word is one of the things that I self-taught myself.”
Greta Gerwig - Brooke
Lola Kirke - Tracy

“- Jane's Father: So where are you thinking of going to school next year?
- Tim Dunphy: Um, I'm thinkin' college.
- Jane's Father: Any school in particular?
- Tim Dunphy: Yeah, probably.”
Shawn Hatosy - Tim Dunphy

“One of my biggest regrets is that I didn't do enough experimenting in college.”
Brittany Snow - Chloe

“For me, college wasn't a breeze. I had 8 o'clock classes, I worked from 3 to 11 at the Settlement House. On weekends, if Northwestern Bell needed me, I'd troubleshoot for them, and I had a steady girl. God!”
Henry Fonda

“Rejection. That's what makes a college great. The exclusivity of any university is judged primarily by the amount of students it rejects.”
Anthony Heald - Dean Richard Van Horne