Dan Aykroyd movie quotes

“- Sgt. Frank Tree: You think the Japanese believe in Santy Claus?
- Crowd: No!
- Sgt. Frank Tree: Well, instead of turkey for your Christmas dinner, how would you like to have raw fish heads and rice?
- Crowd: No!”

Dan Aykroyd - Sgt. Frank Tree

“I'm gonna dig so many new holes in you, you're gonna look like a salt shaker!”

Dan Aykroyd - Judge Alvin 'J.P' Valkenheiser

“There are two things that clearly differentiate the human species from animals. One, we use cutlery. Two, we're capable of controlling our sexual urges. Now, you might be an exception, but don't drag me down into your private Hell.”

Dan Aykroyd - Friday

“- Elwood Blues: What kind of music do you usually have here?
- Claire: Oh, we got both kinds. We got country and western.”
Dan Aykroyd - Elwood Blues
Sheilah Wells - Claire

“- Connie Conehead: I think I'll have some Tang.
- Prymatt Conehead: Ah Tang, the drink astronauts took to the moon.
- Beldar Conehead: Astronauts to the moon?”
Michelle Burke - Connie Conehead
Jane Curtin - Prymatt Conehead
Dan Aykroyd - Beldar Conehead

“Don't go thinking we sacrifice quality. I never make more than two motion pictures a week, but I'll spend up to a thousand dollars on each of 'em if I have to.”
Dan Aykroyd - Mack Sennett

“May I have 55 words with you?”
Dan Aykroyd - Beldar Conehead

“- Dr. Raymond Stantz: You have been a participant in the biggest interdimensional cross rip since the Tunguska blast of 1909!
- Louis Tully: Felt great.
- Dr. Egon Spengler: We'd like to get a sample of your brain tissue.”
Dan Aykroyd - Dr. Raymond Stantz
Rick Moranis - Louis Tully
Harold Ramis - Dr. Egon Spengler

“Your positive perception of me is vital to my existence. Besides, it is not everyday a father can give the world to his child.”

Dan Aykroyd - Beldar Conehead

“People, when you do find that special somebody, you gotta hold that man, hold that woman! Love him, please him, squeeze her, please her! Signify your feelings with every gentle caress, because it's so important to have that special somebody to hold, to kiss, to miss, to squeeze, and please!”
Dan Aykroyd - Elwood Blues

“- Ellis Fielding: Oh, Mac. Mac, Mac, Mac. You know why we make such good partners?
- MacArthur Stern: No. Why?
- Ellis Fielding: Because technically, you're crazier than I am.
- MacArthur Stern: I knew that”
Dan Aykroyd - Ellis Fielding
Gene Hackman - MacArthur Stern

“- Boolie Werthan: Mama, cars don't behave. They are behaved upon. Fact is, you demolished that Chrysler all by yourself.
- Daisy Werthan: Say what you want, I know the truth.
- Boolie Werthan: The truth is, you just cost the insurance company $2,700. You're a terrible risk. Nobody's gonna want to issue you a policy after this.”
Dan Aykroyd - Boolie Werthan
Jessica Tandy - Daisy Werthan

“- Roman: I think that just about does it.
- Grill Chef: He's not done yet!
- Roman: It might take him a moment for that last bite to go down, but it will go down!
- Grill Chef: That ain't the last bite!
- Roman: Well sure it is, there is nothing on that plate but gristle and fat!
- Roman: [the Chef raises his eyebrows] No Problem. If i can get a...” (continue)(continue reading)
Dan Aykroyd - Roman Craig
Andy Prosky - Grill Chef

“- Grocer: And after we do your job, we're gonna do another little job.
- Martin Q. Blank: Tell me about it.
- Grocer: Like I'm gonna put a bullet hole in your fuckin' forehead, and I'm gonna fuck the brain hole!
- Martin Q. Blank: Nice talk, sugar mouth.”
Dan Aykroyd - Grocer
John Cusack - Martin Q. Blank

“- Buster Blues: You're not the Elwood Blues I know. The Elwood Blues I know once said that no pharmaceutical product could ever equal the rush you get when the band hits that groove; the people are dancin', and shoutin', and swayin'; and the house is rockin'!
- Elwood Blues: Yeah, that was me.
- Buster Blues: The music, man. You know you miss...” (continue)(continue reading)
J. Evan Bonifant - Buster
Dan Aykroyd - Elwood Blues

“Hoke, I want you to understand something. Now, you'd be working for me. She can say anything she likes, but she can't fire you. You understand?”

Dan Aykroyd - Boolie Werthan

“- Boolie Werthan: What I need is for somebody to drive my mother around.
- Hoke Colburn: Well, if you don't mind my asking, sir, how come she's not hiring for herself?”
Dan Aykroyd - Boolie Werthan
Morgan Freeman - Hoke Colburn

“We haven't any children, unless Ramona just pumped one out and didn't tell me about it.”
Dan Aykroyd - Vic

“- Chet: You bastard! You bastard!
- Roman: I think he's saying go faster.”

John Candy - Chet Ripley
Dan Aykroyd - Roman Craig

“- Chris Thorne: Come on, death for running a stop sign?
- Judge Alvin 'J.P' Valkenheiser: And for being a banker! That's the double death.”

Chevy Chase - Chris Thorne
Dan Aykroyd - Judge Alvin 'J.P' Valkenheiser

“- Maj. Ebersole: Well, theoretically, and I wouldn't bet the farm, the hover tank will lift off and hover several inches above the pond.
- Col. John T. Hall: Good. Very good.
- Maj. Ebersole: Yeah. Then it will engage the targets. The cannon, boom, the ammunition dump, kaboom, that truck, boom.
- Col. John T. Hall: Excellent. Though, one...” (continue)(continue reading)
Austin Pendleton - Maj. Ebersole
Dan Aykroyd - Col. John T. Hall

“Depart now and you forever separate yourselves from the vital American legacies of Robert Johnson, Muddy Waters, Willie Dixon, Jimmy Reed, Memphis Slim, Blind Boy Fuller, Louie Jordon, Little Walter, Big Walter, Sonnyboy Williamson I and II, Otis Redding, Jackie Wilson, Elvis Presley, Lieber and Stoller, and Robert K. Weiss.”

Dan Aykroyd - Elwood Blues

“- Austin Millbarge: Show some balls, man!
- Emmett Fitz-Hume: I think it's too late to try and impress them.”

Dan Aykroyd - Austin Millbarge
Chevy Chase - Emmett Fitz-Hume

“I know women, upside down and backwards, which is not a bad way to know 'em, huh?”

Dan Aykroyd - Vic

“- Mighty Mack: The suit's real neat, but do I have to wear the hat?
- Elwood Blues: These are unsophisticated men. They only respond to fear and the draw of lucre. We elicit this by using iconographic symbols, and psychological intimidation. The way we look together presents a uniform image of strength and organization. Don't say anything. Look...” (continue)(continue reading)
John Goodman - Mighty Mack McTeer
Dan Aykroyd - Elwood Blues