Joe Pesci movie quotes

“- Simon Wilder: The beauty of the Constitution is that it can always be changed. The beauty of the Constitution is that it makes no set law other than faith in the wisdom of ordinary people to govern themselves.
- Prof. Pitkannan: Faith in the wisdom of the people is exactly what makes the Constitution incomplete and crude.
- Simon Wilder:...” (continue)(continue reading)
Joe Pesci - Simon Wilder
Gore Vidal - Prof. Pitkannan

“It's a procedure. Like rebuilding a carburetor has a procedure. You know, when you rebuild a carburetor, the first thing you do is you take the carburetor off the manifold? Supposing you skip the first step, and while you're replacing one of the jets, you accidentally drop the jet, it goes down the carburetor, rolls along the manifold, and goes...” (continue)(continue reading)
Joe Pesci - Vinny Gambini

“Froggy was my friend and I really loved him, and I took him everywhere with me, and I was riding on my bike one day and he jumped out of the box, and I ran him over with the back tire. I killed him. I was really heartbroken. Really, he was my best friend in the whole world; the only thing I ever loved.”

Joe Pesci - Leo Getz

“- Vinny Gambini: Lisa, I don't need this. I swear to God, I do not need this right now, okay? I've got a judge that's just aching to throw me in jail. An idiot who wants to fight me for two hundred dollars. Slaughtered pigs. Giant loud whistles. I ain't slept in five days. I got no money, a dress code problem, and a little murder case which, in...” (continue)(continue reading)
Joe Pesci - Vinny Gambini
Marisa Tomei - Mona Lisa Vito

“It should have been perfect. I mean he had me, Nicky Santoro, his best friend watching his ass. And he had Ginger, the woman he loved on his arm. But in the end, we fucked it all up. It should have been so sweet, too. But it turned out to be the last time that street guys like us were ever given anything that fuckin' valuable again.”

Joe Pesci - Nicky Santoro

“I never made it to the sixth grade, kid. And it doesn't look like you're gonna, either.”

Joe Pesci - Harry Lime

“- Nicky Cerone: What is that? Mozart?
- Belinda Capuletti: Scales.
- Nicky Cerone: Never heard of him.”

Joe Pesci - Nicky Cerone
Lili Haydn - Belinda Capuletti

“I think in all fairness, I should explain to you exactly what it is that I do. For instance tomorrow morning I'll get up nice and early, take a walk down over to the bank and... walk in and see and, uh... if you don't have my money for me, I'll... crack your fuckin' head wide-open in front of everybody in the bank. And just about the time that...” (continue)(continue reading)

Joe Pesci - Nicky Santoro

“If you win, you win. If you lose, you still win.”

Joe Pesci - Joey

“A lot of holes in the desert, and a lot of problems are buried in those holes. But you gotta do it right. I mean, you gotta have the hole already dug before you show up with a package in the trunk. Otherwise, you're talking about a half-hour to forty-five minutes worth of digging. And who knows who's gonna come along in that time? Pretty soon,...” (continue)(continue reading)
Joe Pesci - Nicky Santoro

“- Vinny Gambini: What about these pants I got on, you think they're ok? Oh!
- Mona Lisa Vito: Imagine you're a deer. You're prancing along, you get thirsty, you spot a little brook, you put your little deer lips down to the cool clear water... bam! A fuckin' bullet rips off part of your head! Your brains are laying on the ground in little bloody...” (continue)(continue reading)

Joe Pesci - Vinny Gambini
Marisa Tomei - Mona Lisa Vito

“- Steve: You can't just kill innocent people because they look like somebody else.
- Tommy Spinelli: Let me tell you something, college boy, nobody is innocent.”
Todd Louiso - Steve
Joe Pesci - Tommy

“You might be demonstrating a failure to show appreciation.”

Joe Pesci - Russell Bufalino

“- Jeffrey Hawks: Holy Shit!
- Simon Wilder: You think so? Looks like the regular garden variety to me.”

Josh Hamilton - Jeffrey Hawks
Joe Pesci - Simon Wilder

“- William: You know what I could never figure out about the Mummy? The Mummy used to walk with one arm out and a leg draggin' behind him, but he was still always able get his victim. I'm thinkin' as a kid, I was pretty fast, I'd just, ya know, put some moves on the Mummy and the Mummy, he'd never get me.
- Jimmy Alto: This is what you're...” (continue)(continue reading)
Christian Slater - William
Joe Pesci - Jimmy Alto

“- Jake La Motta: She says he's pretty.
- Joey LaMotta: Yeah, well, you make him ugly.”

Robert De Niro - Jake La Motta
Joe Pesci - Joey

- Gus Green: It could be worse.
- Joe Waters: Hey Gus, please don't say that. 'Cause it can't get any worse. I'm so sick of everytime we get in trouble or something goes bad, we think of, like, worse situations just so we can say "This ain't so bad, it could be worse". Gus, the truth is, it can't get any worse.

Danny Glover - Gus Green
Joe Pesci - Joe Waters

“- Gilliam: You don't want me to leave you alone.
- Louie Kritski: Trust me, I do.
- Gilliam: No, Satan wants me to leave you alone.
- Louie Kritski: We both want you to leave me alone.”
Paul Benjamin - Gilliam
Joe Pesci - Louie Kritski

“- Louie Kritski: Why is that you have twenty-four different kinds of pork rinds and you only have one kind of peanut butter?
- Cashier: Because we don't get too many fussy little white pricks in here.
- Louie Kritski: Okay.”
Joe Pesci - Louie Kritski

“- Saleslady: May I help you?
- Monty Capuletti: No, we're just browsing.
- Saleslady: How long do you intend to browse?
- Monty Capuletti: That lady over there, you didn't ask her how long she's going to browse.
- Saleslady: You don't look like browsers.
- Nicky Cerone: Yeah, what do browsers look like?
- Monty Capuletti: Yeah, maybe I'm half...” (continue)(continue reading)
Jessica James - Saleslady
Rodney Dangerfield - Monty Capuletti
Joe Pesci - Nicky Cerone

“- Leo Getz: This is the best part, okay? You make a tax deduction on interest payments you don't even make! Am I an innovator? Am I a genius?
- Martin Riggs: You're a swindler!
- Roger Murtaugh: Cheat!
- Leo Getz: Everyone cheats a little bit... look at the Pentagon!”

Joe Pesci - Leo Getz
Mel Gibson - Martin Riggs
Danny Glover - Roger Murtaugh

“- Jake La Motta: I'm gonna ask you again: did you or did you not?
- Joey LaMotta: I'm not gonna answer that. It's stupid. It's a sick question and you're a sick fuck and I'm not that sick that I'm gonna answer it. I'm leaving, If Nora calls tell her I went home. I'm not staying in this nuthouse with you. You're a sick bastard, I feel sorry for...” (continue)(continue reading)

Robert De Niro - Jake La Motta
Joe Pesci - Joey

“Winners forget they're in a race, they just love to run.”
Joe Pesci - Simon Wilder

“Bugs and drugs. Bugs and drugs. Smooth operation, that's what I got. Smooth operation.”
Joe Pesci - Mr. Big

“- Louie Kritski: You want your electricity fixed? Move. Check into the fucking Plaza, just gimmie the rent Lady!
- Eleanor: Look at my boy. How's he supposed to do his schoolwork at night? By candle light?
- Louie Kritski: Lincoln did. Hey, maybe he'll grown up to be president, what the fuck do I know? Just gimmie the rent!”
Joe Pesci - Louie Kritski
Carol Jean Lewis - Eleanor