John Candy movie quotes

“You wanna hurt me? Go right ahead if it makes you feel any better. I'm an easy target. Yeah, you're right, I talk too much. I also listen too much. I could be a cold-hearted cynic like you... but I don't like to hurt people's feelings. Well, you think what you want about me; I'm not changing. I like... I like me. My wife likes me. My customers...” (continue)(continue reading)
John Candy - Del Griffith

“Wherever you go in the world, you just have to say you're Canadian and people laugh.”
John Candy

“You know, the finest line a man will walk is between success at work and success at home.”
John Candy

“I've got a slight weight problem. Yeah, yeah I do. Yeah, I do. I went to this doctor. Well, he told me I swallow a lot of aggression... along with a lot of pizzas! Ha Ha Ha! Pizzas! I'm basically a shy person, I'm a shy guy. Uh, he suggested taking one these uh, aggression training courses. You know these aggression training courses like EST,...” (continue)(continue reading)

John Candy - Ox

“- Ben: Dad?
- Chet: Yes, Ben?
- Ben: Does this mean we won't be getting Christmas presents this year from Aunt Kate and Uncle Roman?
- Buck: Oh, blow it out of your ass, Ben!
- Connie: Okay, nobody is blowing anything out of their ass. What we are having is a little problem, and it doesn't mean your father and I don't love your Aunt Kate and...” (continue)(continue reading)
Ian Giatti - Ben Ripley
John Candy - Chet Ripley
Stephanie Faracy - Connie Ripley

“- Buck Russell: Do you think she hates me?
- Maizy Russell: With a passion.
- Buck Russell: Really? Do you think it's the hat?”
John Candy - Buck Russell
Gaby Hoffmann - Maizy Russell

“- Freddie Bauer: People fall in love every day, huh? Is that what you said?
- Allen Bauer: Yeah.
- Freddie Bauer: Yeah? Well, that's a crock. It doesn't work that way. Look, do you realize how happy you were with her? That is, of course, when you weren't driving yourself crazy. Every day? Come on. Some people will never be that happy. I'll never...” (continue)(continue reading)
John Candy - Freddie Bauer
Tom Hanks - Allen Bauer

“- State Trooper: What the hell are you driving here?
- Del Griffith: We had a small fire last night, but we caught it in the nick of time.
- State Trooper: Do you have any idea how fast you were going?
- Del Griffith: Funny enough, I was just talking to my friend about that. Our speedometer has melted and as a result it's very hard to see with...” (continue)(continue reading)
Michael McKean - State Trooper
John Candy - Del Griffith

- Neal Page: Let me close this conversation by saying that you are one unique individual.
- Del Griffith: Unique... what's that, Latin for "asshole"?
Steve Martin - Neal Page
John Candy - Del Griffith

“- Harry Crumb: What's this? An egg?
- Eliot Draison: It's a pterodactyl egg. It's fossilized. It's 90 million years old. In the entire world, only two of these have ever been found.
- Harry Crumb: You know, that may be worth something.”
John Candy - Harry Crumb
Jeffrey Jones - Eliot Draisen

“- Miles Russell: Are you my dad's brother?
- Buck Russell: What's your record for consecutive questions asked?
- Miles Russell: 38.
- Buck Russell: I'm your dad's brother alright.”

Macaulay Culkin - Miles Russell
John Candy - Buck Russell

“I think I may have become an actor to hide from myself. You can escape into a character.”
John Candy

“I stopped smoking cigarettes. Isn't that something? I'm on to cigars now.”
John Candy

“As long as you can savor the humorous aspect of misery and misfortune, you can overcome anything.”
John Candy

“- Allen Bauer: You know by the time I got there, she was already gone.
- Freddie Bauer: Victoria left, huh?
- Allen Bauer: Yeah. You know why she left Freddie? Because I didn't love her.
- Freddie Bauer: That bitch.”
Tom Hanks - Allen Bauer
John Candy - Freddie Bauer

“- Del Griffith: You play with your balls a lot.
- Neal Page: I do not play with my balls.
- Del Griffith: Larry Bird doesn't do as much ball-handling in one night as you do in an hour!”
John Candy - Del Griffith
Steve Martin - Neal Page

“- Mrs. MacIntyre: You are a poor excuse for a human being!
- Harry Crumb: Says you!”
Michele Goodger - Mrs. MacIntyre
John Candy - Harry Crumb

“Bear... bear... Big Bear... big bear chase meeeeeeee...!”
John Candy - Chet Ripley

“- Lasky, Guard at Walleyworld: Rusty, may I call you Rusty? I had a bad experience on this ride once.
- Rusty Griswold: What happened?
- Lasky, Guard at Walleyworld: I threw up.”
John Candy - Lasky, Guard at Walleyworld
Anthony Michael Hall - Rusty Griswold

“- Danny Muldoon: I'll pick you up at seven. Where do you live?
- Theresa Luna: Here.
- Danny Muldoon: With the stiffs?
- Theresa Luna: My father and I have an apartment upstairs.”
John Candy - Danny Muldoon
Ally Sheedy - Theresa Luna

“It doesn't matter if they come in first or 50th. Those guys have earned the right to represent their country. They've earned the right to march into that stadium and wave their nation's flag. That's the single greatest honor an athlete can ever have. That's what the Olympics are about.”
John Candy - Irv

“- Neal Page: Del... why did you kiss my ear?
- Del Griffith: Why are you holding my hand?
- Neal Page: [frowns] Where's your other hand?
- Del Griffith: Between two pillows...
- Neal Page: Those aren't pillows!”

Steve Martin - Neal Page
John Candy - Del Griffith

“I'll take you with me tonight and get you drunk, that's a promise.”

John Candy - Spike Nolan

“- Diane Lightson: Does he treat all traffic violators this graciously?
- Dennis: Only ones he takes a special interest in, like bankers.”

Demi Moore - Diane Lightson
John Candy - Dennis

“- Ox: It doesn't seem fair.
- John: Fair? Who cares about fair? The world isn't fair. Truth is fair. Is it fair that you were born like this? No! They're not expecting somebody like you in there, Ox. They're expected one of these slugs. You're different. You're weird. You're a mutant. You're a killer. You're a trained killer. You're a lean......” (continue)(continue reading)
John Candy - Ox
Bill Murray - John