Sir Michael Caine movie quotes

“- Kaulder: We don't destroy witches anymore, incarcerate them, taken the most powerful witches that walked the Earth and put them in one place.
- Dolan Thirty-Six: Witch prison.
- Kaulder: They've been waiting to be released, to exact revenge, we created the perfect coven.”
Sir Michael Caine - Dolan 36th
Vin Diesel - Kaulder

“- Dr. Watson: Have you got your revolver with you?
- Sherlock Holmes: Yeah, sure. Here it is.
- Dr. Watson: Right, now I'm going to let you have some bullets for it. Try not to shoot yourself - at least, not until I give the signal.”
Ben Kingsley - Dr. Watson
Sir Michael Caine - Sherlock Holmes

“I've been reading the history of your life. And I've written my fair share of it. But your story has no ending.”

Sir Michael Caine - Dolan 36th

“- Scrooge: Spirit, show me no more. Why do you delight in torturing me?
- Ghost of Christmas Past: I told you, these are the shadows of the things that have been. That they are what they are, do not blame me.”
Sir Michael Caine - Scrooge
Jessica Fox - Ghost of Christmas Past

“I had to get out of Beverly Hills! I sold my home there because I do like to drink a bit, but my neighbors were far too health conscious. Most of them hypocrites. We moved to Miami, where parties and drinking socially are a way of life. In California, people drink secretly, behind closed doors.”
Sir Michael Caine

“It's just as important to see which parties you don't get invited to. It's like a court, but not King Arthur's — more like Richar III's.”
Sir Michael Caine

“How the hell am I supposed to get... my bloody money?”
Sir Michael Caine - Jake Mellows

At my first party there (given for me), I overheard someone say, "He's the guest of honor? Who the fuck is he?". That brought me down to earth.

Sir Michael Caine

“- Queen's Emissary: Why exactly do you find the monarchy endearing?
- Fred Ballinger: Well, because it's so vulnerable. You eliminate one person. And all of a sudden. The whole world changes. Like in a marriage.”
Alex Macqueen - Queen's Emissary
Sir Michael Caine - Fred Ballinger

“- Collins: Dunkirk's so far; why couldn't they load at Calais?
- Fortis Leader: The enemy had something to say about it.”
Jack Lowden - Collins
Sir Michael Caine - Fortis Leader

“Watson, I was once a figment of your imagination. But now, Sherlock Holmes belongs to the whole world.”
Sir Michael Caine - Sherlock Holmes

“These banks practically destroyed this country. They crushed a lot of people's dreams, and nothing ever happened to them. We three old guys, we hit a bank. We get away with it, we retire in dignity. Worst comes to the worst, we get caught, we get a bed, three meals a day, and better health care than we got now.”

Sir Michael Caine - Joe Harding

“- Dr. Frank Bryant: We split up, Rita, because of poetry.
- Rita: You what?
- Dr. Frank Bryant: One day, my wife explained to me that, for the past fifteen years, my output as a poet had dealt entirely with the part of our lives in which we discovered each other.”

Sir Michael Caine - Dr. Frank Bryant
Julie Walters - Rita

“Intellectuals have no taste.”
Sir Michael Caine - Fred Ballinger

“- Myra Bruhl: Have you thought about collaboration?
- Sidney Bruhl: I don't want any help in killing Clifford Anderson. I want to strike the blow myself.”
Dyan Cannon - Myra Bruhl
Sir Michael Caine - Sidney Bruhl

“- Conan O'Brien: Remember, if the oxygen mask comes down, put it on the lawyer first. Remember.
- Arthur Tressler: Oh, yes. I always do. It's the lawyer first, then myself, and then the children.”
Conan O'Brien - Himself
Sir Michael Caine - Arthur Tressler

“Try doing that with an iPad.”

Sir Michael Caine - Dolan 36th

“Children don't know their parents ordeals. Sure, they know certain details, striking elements. And they know what they need to know to be on one side or the other.”
Sir Michael Caine - Fred Ballinger

“- Mayor Johnson: Well, Mr. Holmes. Any theories?
- Sherlock Holmes: Obviously, the victim had been caught in a storm too far from shore to swim for it.
- Mayor Johnson: Yes, and with that heavy suitcase attached to his wrist, and the lake being so deep.
- Sherlock Holmes: Quite. Pulled the poor wretch to the bottom, struggling futilely, flailing...” (continue)(continue reading)
Harold Innocent - Mayor Johnson
Sir Michael Caine - Sherlock Holmes

“- Thomas Fowler: Doesn't it bother you?
- Alden Pyle: What I saw made me disgusted, but if it keeps out the communists it's necessary.”

Sir Michael Caine - Thomas Fowler
Brendan Fraser - Alden Pyle

“- Kaulder: You know, I used to think the universe ran in endless circles, always repeating itself, always predictable.
- Dolan Thirty-Six: And now?
- Kaulder: I don't know what happens next.
- Dolan Thirty-Six: Do you know what we mortals call that? Living.”
Vin Diesel - Kaulder
Sir Michael Caine - Dolan 36th

“- Rita: Have they sacked you?
- Dr. Frank Bryant: I made rather a night of it last night so they're giving me a holiday. Two years in Australia.
- Rita: Did you bugger the Bursar?
- Dr. Frank Bryant: Metaphorically.”

Julie Walters - Rita
Sir Michael Caine - Dr. Frank Bryant

“- Lloyd Fellowes: I've been working on Hamlet for the past six weeks.
- Dotty: Do you think he needs working on more than we do?”

Sir Michael Caine - Lloyd Fellowes
Carol Burnett - Dotty Otley

“For all my education, accomplishments and so-called wisdom, I can't fathom my own heart.”
Sir Michael Caine - Elliot

“After centuries of conflict, a truce was forged. Witches would be allowed to live and govern themselves if they followed one strict rule, that magic never be used against humans. But a truce is a fragile thing.”
Sir Michael Caine - Dolan 36th