Owen Wilson movie quotes

“- Jeremy Grey: I didn't get a lot of sleep last night.
- John Beckwith: Soft mattress?
- Jeremy Grey: Yeah, it could have been the soft mattress. Or the midnight rape. Or the nude gay art show that took place in my room. One of those probably added to the lack of sleep.”
Vince Vaughn - Jeremy Grey
Owen Wilson - John Beckwith

“- Jedadiah: I'm gonna shoot you in your dang eye. In your dadgum eye.
- Larry: Yeah. Keep shootin'. Nothing's gonna happen.
- Jedadiah: Now you know my shame. Jedediah's impotent rage. His guns don't fire. Take me away.”
Owen Wilson - Jedediah
Ben Stiller - Larry Daley

- Vann: "Casper"? Like the ghost?
- Casper: "Casper" like shit. That's not my name. My name's Laurie.
- Vann: Laurie, that's a nice name.
- Casper: Laurie. Four vowels and two consonants. That's rare, you know? Almost all the vowels: a, e, i, u. The only one I don't have is an "o". So if your name was Tony, you'd be perfect. What is your name?

Owen Wilson - Vann
Sheryl Crow - Casper

“- Ferrin: On account of what don't you drink?
- Vann: I don't know. On account of nothing I guess.
- Ferrin: Well, if you want, I'll be at Hobie's after work. You can watch me.”

Janeane Garofalo - Ferrin
Owen Wilson - Vann

“What a lemon! One minute it's running like a top, and the next it's broken down on the side of the road. And I can't fix a car like this, because I don't have the tools! And even if I did have the tools I don't know if I could fix a car like this!”

Owen Wilson - Dignan

“I learned more in the 2 months I spent with Mr. Henry and this crew than I learned in 15 years of academic study.”
Owen Wilson - Dignan

“- Roy O'Bannon: It's just a rock with some gibberish on it!
- Chon Wang: It's Chinese!”

Owen Wilson - Roy O'Bannon
Jackie Chan - Chon Wang

“- Kelly: Hey, what's this? It looks like a sock.
- Alex: It's a secret spy mask, put it on.”
Eddie Murphy - Kelly
Owen Wilson - Alex

“- Larry: I'm trusting you guys, alright? And if you don't do what I say, you'll end up like your little buddies in the Mayan world over there, locked up. Take a look. Do they look happy?
- Jedediah: No. They look sad.”
Ben Stiller - Larry Daley
Owen Wilson - Jedediah

“- Vann: You know why in the old days sailors and fisherman never learned how to swim?
- Ferrin: No, why?
- Vann: Because if you knew how to swim it'd take so much longer to drown.
- Ferrin: Oh. I never heard that.
- Vann: You wanna go in?”
Owen Wilson - Vann
Janeane Garofalo - Ferrin

“- Dr. David Marrow: Let me explain what's happening here. You're participating in a study on group fear and hysteria.
- Luke: What? That's it, that's what this was all about?
- Theo: You brought us here to scare us, is that it?
- Dr. David Marrow: Yes.
- Luke: And you were just waiting for her to have a total nervous breakdown before you said...” (continue)(continue reading)
Liam Neeson - Dr. David Marrow
Owen Wilson - Luke Sanderson
Catherine Zeta-Jones - Theo

“It's a more honest genuine friendship. I can't trust you. You can't trust me. I'm not gonna take a bullet for you. I'm not gonna jump on a grenade for you.”

Owen Wilson - Jack Ryan

“Roy O'Bannon will not go quietly. You hear that, England? Throw whatever you want at me! Your terrible weather! Your perverted killers! Your Spotted Dick!”
Owen Wilson - Roy O'Bannon

“- Guy in bathroom: Hey, you're in the Army, yes?
- Dignan: No, I just have short hair.”
Owen Wilson - Dignan

“- Woman at Jewish Reception: You were crying.
- John Beckwith: Oh shit! You weren't supposed to see that. Now you probably think I'm a big pussy.
- Woman at Jewish Reception: No, you were so sweet.”
Tanaya Nicole - Woman at Jewish Reception
Owen Wilson - John Beckwith

“- Chazz Reinhold: So how's my protégé?
- John Beckwith: Jeremy, believe it or not, is getting married!
- Chazz Reinhold: What? What an idiot! What a loser! Good! Good! More for you and me.”
Will Ferrell - Chazz Reinhold
Owen Wilson - John Beckwith

“- Roy O'Bannon: That diamond is as big as a damn monkey's paw.
- Chon Wang: Don't even think about it.
- Roy O'Bannon: Just admiring the craftsmanship.”

Owen Wilson - Roy O'Bannon
Jackie Chan - Chon Wang

- Chon Wang: There you are. Need anything?
- Roy O'Bannon: A whole lot of "leave me alone".
Jackie Chan - Chon Wang
Owen Wilson - Roy O'Bannon

“- Prostitute: I'll give you a discount.
- Roy O'Bannon: That's the most romantic thing a woman has ever said to me.”
Alison King - Prostitute
Owen Wilson - Roy O'Bannon

- Hansel: So I'm rappelling down Mount Vesuvius when suddenly I slip, and I start to fall. Just falling, ahh ahh, I'll never forget the terror. When suddenly I realize "Holy shit, Hansel, haven't you been smoking Peyote for six straight days, and couldn't some of this maybe be in your head"?
- Derek Zoolander: And?
- Hansel: And it was. I was... (continue)(continue reading)
Owen Wilson - Hansel
Ben Stiller - Derek Zoolander

“- Ken Hutchinson: Okay, let me ask you a question, which one do you want? ’Cause we're gonna stick to this?
- David Starsky: I've always had a thing for blondes.
- Ken Hutchinson: Good, cause I'll take anything.”
Owen Wilson - Ken Hutchinson
Ben Stiller - David Starsky

“- Roy O'Bannon: I've heard all about the Emperor. Must be one hell of a man.
- Chon Wang: He's only twelve.
- Roy O'Bannon: Are you kidding me? You're sitting here, waiting to die for someone whose balls haven't even dropped?”
Owen Wilson - Roy O'Bannon
Jackie Chan - Chon Wang

“Lord, help me. Just let me know you're there. Love me, hate me, but let me know You're up there.”
Owen Wilson - Roy O'Bannon

“- Chon Wang: What happened?
- Roy O'Bannon: Oh nothing, I just killed him, how'd you do?”
Jackie Chan - Chon Wang
Owen Wilson - Roy O'Bannon

“Everybody wants to know what's next.”
Owen Wilson - Dignan