Accident quotes

“- Christina: I got a penis in my eye.
- Courtney: Let me see.
- Christina: How is it? Is it okay?
- Courtney: Yeah, it's okay, but I think you're pregnant.”
Cameron Diaz - Christina Walters
Christina Applegate - Courtney Rockcliffe

“You like my sister, don't you? Such a sweet little girl. Too bad if something were to happen to her, if she got hurt. You'd be sad, wouldn't you, Mark? But, hey, accidents will happen. Just ask my mom about Richard.”

Macaulay Culkin - Henry

“When we crashed, my entire life flashed before my eyes. It didn't take too long.”
Robert Oliveri - Nick Szalinski

“- Josh Hutton: The last time I took a drink, I got into a car crash and I killed a girl.
- Otis: No!
- Josh Hutton: Yeah.
- Otis: That's enough to drive you to drink.”
Robert John Burke - Josh Hutton
Matt Malloy - Otis

“I've personally flown over 194 missions and I was shot down on every one. Come to think of it, I've never landed a plane in my life.”

Lloyd Bridges - Adm. Thomas 'Tug' Benson

“Why am I running? I have a broken leg.”
Corey Haim - Dinger

“- Corie Bratter: You could travel.
- Ethel Banks: Oh, travel. Alone. I read a story in the times. A middle-aged woman travelling alone fell off the deck of a ship. They never even discovered it 'til they got to France.
- Corie Bratter: Mother, I promise you, if you ever fell off the deck of a ship, someone would know about it.”
Jane Seymour Fonda - Corie Bratter
Mildred Natwick - Ethel Banks

“- Dr. Bill Perlman: He and your wife are the only survivors I can't reach. She won't talk and he won't admit the crash was bad.
- Manny Rodrigo: Is that right? He says it was good?
- Dr. Bill Perlman: Says it was the best thing that ever happened to him.”

John Turturro - Dr. Bill Perlman
Benicio del Toro - Manny Rodrigo

“Can you put this in a good spot? 'Cause all of this shit happened the last time I parked here.”

Eddie Murphy - Axel Foley

“- Launchpad: Please put your seats back in an upright position.
- Scrooge: Just put the plane up in an upright position!”
Terence McGovern - Launchpad
Alan Young - Scrooge McDuck

“- Loomis: It was an accident, Phyllis.
- Phyllis: Oh, you know? So was Chernobyl.
- Grimm: True, but Loomis didn't irradiate anybody.”
Randy Quaid - Loomis
Geena Davis - Phyllis
Bill Murray - Grimm

“- Kowalski: Skipper, look.
- Skipper: Analysis.
- Kowalski: It looks like a small incandescent bulb, designed to indicate something out of the ordinary, like a malfunction.
- Skipper: I find it pretty and somewhat hypnotic.”

Chris Miller - Kowalski
Tom McGrath - Skipper

“I need a reporter. And you'll do local car wrecks. Take the picture, write the story. We run a front-page photo of a car wreck every week whether or not we actually have a car wreck. Now, there's a knack for taking photos that make you feel something. If there's a dark patch on the ground it reads blood whether it's motor oil or Diet Coke.”
Scott Glenn - Jack Buggit

“I didn't hate my mother. It was an accident!”
Raul Julia - Gomez Addams

“I wanted to celebrate gettin' this job. I had the flowers, I had the champagne. I went into the kitchen. She was cookin' pasta. I wanted to kiss her. She turned around and before I knew it, there was a pot of boiling water all over my leg. And I don't know if it was the dog barkin', I don't know if it was Emma cryin', but I slapped her. I hit my...” (continue)(continue reading)
Peter Mullan - Gordon Fleming

Less than one hour ago I received a message. A message that, I feel, expresses the ideals of the Ring, far better than any words I could command. With your permission, I would like to read it to you. "To General Bentley Durrell, Commander, Carolina Military Institute. General; It is with the deepest sadness that I must inform you of the death of... (continue)(continue reading)
G.D. Spradlin - Gen. Bentley Durrell

“He had the cardiac arrest... his head bent forward, his knees buckled, and then he just... fell ... face forward into the pool. When she found him he was already dead.”
Crispin Glover - Bobby McBurney

“What is the future of a democracy where a President can be assassinated under suspicious circumstances while the machinery of legal action scarcely trembles? How many more political murders disguised as heart attacks, suicides, cancers, drug overdoses? How many plane and car crashes will occur before they are exposed for what they are?”
Kevin Costner - Jim Garrison

“- Axel Foley: You just hit a squad car!
- Billy Rosewood: I know, I know. It's okay, I know the guy. He's a jerk.”
Billy Rosewood - Axel Foley

“- Bubba Rocque: Dave Robicheaux drowned in the bottle and went into the swamp to sleep it off.
- Didi Giancano: He may have been asleep, but that was before you dropped a fucking plane on his head and woke him up. Guys like that, when they wake up, they don't go back to sleep so easy. Not without help.”
Eric Roberts - Bubba Rocque
Joe Viterelli - Didi Giancano

“- Rudy: What happened?
- Francis Phelan: He fell.
- Rudy: Fell where?
- Francis Phelan: On the floor.
- Rudy: Fell on the floor? I fall on the floor about twice a day. I ain't dead yet.”

Tom Waits - Rudy
Jack Nicholson - Francis Phelan

“Look at that, accident black spot! These aren't accidents! They're throwing themselves into the road gladly! Throwing themselves into the road to escape all this hideousness!”

Richard R. Grant - Withnail

If I hadn't have stopped the car, you would've been called “Pancake” by now.

Victor Wong - Grandpa

“My brother's in a wheel chair because of a freak accident as a kid. One day we were playing touch football and he fell off the roof.”
Shawn Hatosy - Tim Dunphy

“You owe me a new stop watch... you pussies!”

Goldie Hawn - Molly McGrath