Children quotes

“You can tell the men from the boys by the price of their toys.”
John Calvin - Troy

“I would rather take a beating with a brick stick than take kids in the grocery store.”
Jeff Foxworthy - Jeff Foxworthy

“- Caroline: [holding her son's dirty hand] Is this chocolate or poop? Is this chocolate or poop? [licks her son's hand and smiles] It's chocolate!
- Kate: What if that had been poop?”
Maura Tierney - Caroline
Tina Fey - Kate

“- Mary Anne Meechum: Dad, why do you love me more than your other children?
- Lt. Col. 'Bull' Meechum: Beat it, I'm reading the sports page.”
Lisa Jane Persky - Mary Anne Meechum
Robert Duvall - Lt. Col. 'Bull' Meechum

“Who gave you permission to tell Charlie there was no Santa Claus? I think if we're going to destroy our son's delusions, I should be a part of it.”
Tim Allen - Scott Calvin

“- Charlotte Haze: I asked you to make your bed. Didn't I?
- Lolita: No. You asked me if I'd made my bed.”
Melanie Griffith - Charlotte Haze
Dominique Swain - Lolita

How about these stupid letters from kids to Santa at the North Pole: "Dear Santa, Can you send me a bike and a slinky?" No! Your father's been laid off!
Sinbad - Myron Larabee

“I wish you guys would do that with bricks once in a while. That way it would end faster.”

Shane Edelman - Mr. Loud

“Quality time with your kids: You know what? Quit bugging 'em. Leave 'em alone. They like it!”
Lindsay Lohan - Anna Coleman

“If we had kids, we'd be spending every day working hard to feed them, clothe them, put them through school; only for them to tell us to go fuck ourselves when they turn sixteen, you know? No thanks.”

Edward Burns - Charlie

“- Dickie Roberts: Holy shit, a bike!
- Rob Reiner: You're six.
- Dickie Roberts: Holy crap, a bike!
- Rob Reiner: You're six.
- Dickie Roberts: Goo-goo, ga-ga, bikey!
- Rob Reiner: Too far back.”

David Spade - Dickie Roberts
Rob Reiner - Rob Reiner

“- Pregnant Woman: I'm always telling those kids to stop singing that terrible murderer's song and they do nothing but sing it at the top of their voices all day. As if we hadn't heard enough of that killer.
- Frau Beckmann: Oh, leave them alone. As long as they're singing, at least we know they're still there.”
Ellen Widmann - Frau Beckmann

“- Gregory Stark: Is this your kid?
- Steve Arlo: Nope. Just a rental.”
Ryan O'Neal - Gregory Stark
Ben Stiller - Steve Arlo

“- Lord Covington: Who gave you permission to be in here?
- Madeline: N-n-nobody, Lord Covington.
- Lord Covington: This is a hospital, it's not a play room. You're not allowed to just wander around.”

Nigel Hawthorne - Lord Covington
Hatty Jones - Madeline

“- Beth Cappadora: You self-righteous son of a bitch!
- Pat Cappadora: I'm not self-righteous, I'm right! Kids don't just vanish up in smoke, kids don't just get lost, people lose them!”
Michelle Pfeiffer - Beth Cappadora
Treat Williams - Pat Cappadora

“- Desk Clerk: Can I help you?
- Kevin McCallister: A reservation for McCallister?
- Desk Clerk: A reservation for yourself?
- Kevin McCallister: Ma'am, my feet are hardly touching the ground. I'm barely able to look over the counter. How can I make a reservation for a hotel room? Think about it. A kid coming into a hotel, making a reservation? I...” (continue)(continue reading)

Dana Ivey - Desk Clerk
Macaulay Culkin - Kevin McCallister

“Pretty soon the kids won't have to worry about eating their Brussel sprouts because the Brussel sprouts will be eating them.”
Jim Varney - Ernest

“- Tom Baker: You were checking me out, weren't you?
- Kate Baker: Yes, I was. You got a problem with that?
- Tom Baker: Twelve kids later and we still got the heat.”
Steve Martin - Tom Baker
Bonnie Hunt - Kate Baker

“A house just isn't a home without children.”
Gerrit Graham - Phil Simpson

They said we had to wait five years for a healthy white baby. I said, "healthy white baby? Five years? What else you got?". Said they got two Koreans and a negra born with his heart on the outside. It's a crazy world.
Sam McMurray - Glen

“- Galaxina: What's the matter?
- Sgt. Thor: Children. We can't have children.
- Galaxina: Yes we can. They're in the catalogue too.”

Dorothy Stratten - Galaxina
Stephen Macht - Sgt. Thor

“My parents used to beat the living shit out of me, okay? And I'm glad they did, and I'm looking forward to beating the shit out of my kids!”

Denis Colin Leary - Himself

“One million innocent children were destroyed by them. I want to help bring one million children into the world. Until the day I die, I must help rebuild what the Nazis worked so hard to do.”
Christine Lahti - Gisella Perl

“- Burt: Who are Isaac and Malachai?
- Job: Isaac started the whole thing. He's a boy preacher who came to this town three years ago. At nine-years-old back then, he had a charming way that appealed to all the kids and teens like us to follow him with his own teachings of the bible and of the Old Testiment. But me and Sarah thought he was just...” (continue)(continue reading)
Peter Horton - Burt
Robby Kiger - Job

“It is not an interesting question. It is the question of a little girl who believes in fairy tales.”

Kevin Kline - Luc Teyssier