Children quotes

“All right, son: roll them guns up, count the money, and put your seat belt on.”

Vinnie Jones - Big Chris

“Hell, Lowenstein! She made a schizophrenic! My mother should have raised cobras, not children!”
Nick Nolte - Tom Wingo

“You shouldn't be wearing a dress; you should be wearing a diaper.”

Jeff Bridges - Jack Baker

“The children have to save themselves these days because the parents have no clue.”
Drew Barrymore - Karen Pomeroy

“Gentlemen, it's called education. It doesn't come off the side of a cigarette carton. it comes from our teachers, and more importantly our parents. It is the job of every parent to warn their children of all the dangers of the world, including cigarettes, so that one day when they get older they can choose for themselves.”
Aaron Eckhart - Nick Naylor

“- Kimble: Get some rest and don't worry. I've been working undercover for a long time. They're six-year-old. How much trouble can they be?
- Phoebe: On second thought, take the gun.”
Arnold Schwarzenegger - Kimble
Pamela Reed - Phoebe

“I'd love to tell you all to sit back, relax, and enjoy yourselves, but unfortunately, I can't do that. There's a very serious issue that's spiraling out of control in this country. Illegal handguns ending up in the hands of our children.”

Christopher Lawford - Vice President

“- Dr. Grace Holloway: The dead stay dead. You can't turn back time.
- The Doctor: Yes you can.
- Dr. Grace Holloway: I'm not a child, don't talk to me like I'm a child. Only children believe that crap. I am a doctor.
- The Doctor: But it was a childish dream that made you a doctor. You dreamed you could hold back death. Isn't that true?”
Daphne Ashbrook - Dr. Grace Holloway
Paul McGann - The Doctor

“- Andy Wayne: Mom, wake up, look what I found on the beach!
- Stevie Wayne: Andrew. I love you. But sometimes you're a real pain.”
Ty Mitchell - Andy Wayne
Adrienne Barbeau - Stevie Wayne

“- Michael: Where's the playground?
- Elliott: It's near the preschool!
- Michael: Where's that?
- Elliott: I don't know streets! Mom always drives me!
- Michael: Son of a bitch.”
Robert MacNaughton - Michael
Henry Thomas - Elliott

“- Abby: It's... Charlie.
- Santa Claus: Sheen? I thought he straightened out?
- Abby: Not that Charlie.
- Santa Claus: My Charlie. My son Charlie? He's on the naughty list? There's gotta be a mistake.”

Danielle Woodman - Abby
Tim Allen - Santa Claus

“Junior is gonna be a convict before he's in third grade!”
Amy Yasbeck - Flo Healy

“Gee Roger you sure have been grumpy since ya found out you're gonna be a Grandpa!”
Joe Pesci - Leo Getz

“It kills kids dammit!”
Brandon Crane - Young Ben Hanscom

“- Dr. Ditten: Our children will thank us for the world we are making for them!
- Emmy Ritter: Thank you? Thank you for what? For a world filled with a seed of new hates? For a world in ruins?”
Philip Dorn - Dr. Ditten
Alla Nazimova - Emmy Ritter

“There's a big world out there filled with desperate orphans who would gladly swim across an ocean of thumbtacks just to be eclipsed by the long shadow that is cast by my accomplishments.”

Jim Carrey - Count Olaf

“- Lewis: Rink's gotta be around here someplace.
- Gordon Bombay: Just look for a sign that says 'Personal Hell'.
- Gordon Bombay: [under his breath] How can he do this to me? I hate kids. They're barely human.”
M.C. Gainey - Lewis
Emilio Estevez - Gordon Bombay

“Having a kid is great... as long as his eyes are closed and he's not moving or speaking.”
Adam Sandler - Sonny Koufax

“We don't just mediate between warring partners. We also check up the child itself psychologically. How does the child deal with the conflicts? Our advice is always binding. Don't take this the wrong way, but you left them. They didn't leave you. You left for another woman. For now, we see no reason to give you custody.”

Nelly Frijda - Dr. Ellis K.P.R.

“I hate that kid so much I could be her mother.”
Kathy Bates - Miss Agatha Hannigan

“There's something about the icecream truck that makes kids lose it. And they can hear that shit from ten blocks away. They don't hear their mothers calling but they hear that motherfucking icecream truck.”
Eddie Murphy - Eddie Murphy

“- Kate Linville Holroyd: Ginger Gallagher has a lot of experience with this. Her cousin lost two kids to the Hare Krishnas, and one was clubbed to death by a baby seal hunter.
- Harvey Holroyd: What ever happened to running away and joining the circus?
- Kate Linville Holroyd: You know, they say this group finds kids who are alienated, and love...” (continue)(continue reading)
Tuesday Weld - Kate
Martin Mull - Harvey

- Dr. Robert Campbell: I gave Alka-Seltzer to a kid with a belly ache.
- Dr. Rae Crane: You did what?
- Dr. Robert Campbell: Alka-Seltzer. Cured him in one belch. It was the "plop-plop-fizz-fizz" that really dazzled them.
Sir Sean Connery - Dr. Robert Campbell
Lorraine Bracco - Dr. Rae Crane

“Not a single member of Congress wanted to sacrifice their child for the war in Iraq. And who could blame them? Who would want to give up their child?”
Michael Francis Moore - Narrator

“- Morticia Addams: Children, this is Miss Jellinsky, our new nanny. What do we say?
- Wednesday Addams: Be afraid. Be very afraid.”
Anjelica Huston - Morticia Addams
Christina Ricci - Wednesday Addams