Health quotes

“Early to rise and early to bed, makes a man healthy, but socially dead!”
Alan Hale - Ed Carlsen

The most important words in the English language are not "I love you", but "It's benign".
Woody Allen - Harry Block

“I don't know why everyone's tryin' to lose weight in the first place! Ain't everybody supposed to be the same size, we're supposed to be all different. Big, small, medium, midgets, you're supposed to have all that. Everyone wants to be the same size now, like that Oprah Winfrey; she went and lost her weight, when nothing was wrong with her, she...” (continue)(continue reading)
Eddie Murphy - Papa Klump

“- Miss Moneypenny: Have you got an assignment, James?
- James Bond: Yes, Moneypenny. I'm to eliminate all free radicals.
- Miss Moneypenny: Oh. Do be careful.”
Pamela Salem - Miss Moneypenny
Sir Sean Connery - James Bond

“I can't eat that, he used his hands. I think it's unsanitary.”

Marti Greenberg - Suzanne

“- Tiny Patient: Say, doctor, do you really think I'm gonna get better?
- Dr. Moe Howard: I'm very sorry, but I'm afraid you are.”
"Little Billy" Rhodes - Tiny Patient
Moe Howard - Dr. Moe Howard

“You all have that friend who's quitting it. I quit smoking. I quit drinking. I quit meat, and I feel great. I get up in at six in the morning and have a nice big bowl of oat bran. Then I go to the bathroom for three and a half hours. I eat another bowl of oat bran and go back into the bathroom for six more hours. All I do is eat and shit, I'm...” (continue)(continue reading)
Denis Colin Leary - Himself

“- Randy: Where do you work?
- Julie Richman: At my parents' store.
- Randy: What do they sell?
- Julie Richman: Health foods.
- Randy: That's cool.
- Julie Richman: Like, it's not cool at all! Like, it's all this stuff that tastes like nothing and it's supposed to be so good for you. Why couldn't they, like, open a Pizza Hut or something?”
Nicolas Cage - Randy
Deborah Foreman - Julie Richman

“Nothin' like a good strangulation to get the circulation going.”
Brad Dourif - Chucky

“- John Gustafson: You're supposed to be smoking filter cigarettes.
- Grandpa Gustafson: I'm 94 years old. What the hell do I care?”
Jack Lemmon - John Gustafson
Burgess Meredith - Grandpa Gustafson

“- Blade: How do you feel?
- Whistler: Like hammered shit.”
Wesley Snipes - Blade
Kris Kristofferson - Whistler

“This is the land of milk and honey for the health racket. Every woman in California thinks she's either too fat or too thin or too something.”

Henry Hull - "Doc" Banton

“- CC Bloom: Hmm. Marge, you ought to cut down on the gasoline. It's bad for the complexion.
- Hillary: She could be dead.
- CC Bloom: Nah. If she was dead she would've dropped the bottle.”

Bette Midler - CC Bloom
Barbara Hershey - Hillary Whitney Essex

“- Ivan Travalian: Eat it. It's healthy. You'll live longer.
- Kreplich: I have a miserable life. I don't want to live longer.”
Al Pacino - Ivan Travalian
Alan King - Kreplich

“I like being on the winning side. It's a lot healthier.”
William Zipp - Jack Cooper

“To be normal, to drink Coca-Cola and eat Kentucky Fried Chicken is to be in a conspiracy against yourself.”
Mel Gibson - Jerry Fletcher

- Keller Coleman: Do you know what people mean when they say "safe sex"?
- Keller's Grandfather: Keller, at my age there ain't no such thing. I could keel over right in the middle of it. At my age you don't worry about catchin' somethin'. You worry about finishing up in one piece.
Breckin Meyer - Keller Coleman
Wayne Tippit - Keller's Grandfather

“- Saleh: You came halfway around the world to watch me play this basketball?
- Jimmy Dolan: That's what I said.
- Saleh: Are you healthy up here?
- Jimmy Dolan: Never said that.”
Charles Gitonga Maina - Saleh
Kevin Bacon - Jimmy Dolan

“- Katarina Stratford: You're not surrounded by your usual cloud of smoke.
- Patrick Verona: I know, I quit. Apparently they're bad for you.”
Julia Stiles - Katarina Stratford
Heath Ledger - Patrick Verona

“- Maître D': Good evening sir and how are we today?
- Mr. Creosote: Better.
- Maître D': Better?
- Mr. Creosote: Better get a bucket. I'm gonna throw up.”
John Marwood Cleese - Maître D'
Terry Jones - Mr. Creosote

“I'm completely operational, and all my circuits are functioning perfectly.”
Douglas Rain - HAL 9000

“- Jon: Did you say I have only one testicle?
- Dr. Aviano: That's right.
- Jon: Nope, nope. Oh no!
- Dr. Aviano: Don't be upset, one is all you need. The other is just sort of a back up. It won't affect your sex life.”

Tom Selleck - Jon Aldrich
Omar Cabral - Dr. Aviano

“We didn't have rehab back in the seventies. Back in the seventies rehab meant you'd stop doing coke, but kept smoking pot and drinking for a couple more weeks.”
Denis Colin Leary - Himself

“I'm going to tell you something which is not very healthy to know, but now that they have followed me here, you are in it as much as I am. Have you ever heard of the Thirty-Nine Steps?”

Lucie Mannheim - Miss Smith

“So you've met my nurses? They clean the copper out of my blood. Doctors gave me a couple of years to live, those bloodsuckers might give me a few more.”

Willem Dafoe - John Geiger