Homosexuality quotes

“Alright, virgins to the left, non-virgins to the right. You guys split 'em up however you want.”

Bill Murray - Tripper

- Owen: Wally wants to go to bed with you.
- Margaret: Nobody fucks at the club, everybody's gay! It's you that thinks about fucking all the time.
- Owen: Your vocabulary is punctuated by two words: "shit" and "fuck".
Bob Brady - Owen
Anne Carlisle - Margaret

“- Ma Beckoff: Arnold, think about the boy. The way you live is bound to affect him!
- Arnold Beckoff: Ma, David is gay!
- Ma Beckoff: He hasn't even been here a year!
- Arnold Beckoff: He came that way!
- Ma Beckoff: Nobody comes that way!
- Arnold Beckoff: What an opening!”

Anne Bancroft - Ma Beckoff
Harvey Forbes Fierstein - Arnold Beckoff

“- Jack: There's only two times when that kind of thing's okay: in prison where it's a substitute and guys in space.
- Mike: Guys in space?
- Jack: Well, not on purpose. They just float into each other.”

Shawn Hatosy - Jack
Zak Orth - Mike

“- Dwight: [as Kate Veatch kisses Joyce] I told you she was a lesbian.
- Peter La Fleur: Wow. Good call.
- Kate Veatch: Hey! I'm not a lesbian.
- Peter La Fleur: You're not?
- Kate Veatch: No. I'm bisexual.
[she kisses Peter]”
Chris Williams - Dwight
Vince Vaughn - Peter La Fleur
Christine Taylor - Kate Veatch

“Fags! Everywhere!”
Cleavant Derricks - Lionel Witherspoon

“I believe I am what is commonly termed bisexual, which is by the by because actually I no longer sleep with men or women. But if I did, I promise you, you'd be right up there on my wish list, together with Michelle Pfeiffer and... River Phoenix.”

Stephen Fry - Peter Morton

“- Paul: Are you sure you like boys?
- Carla: Soft centers, hard centers. I like all the chocolates in the box.”
Kevin Mundy - Paul
Marya Delver - Carla

“- Kramet: I hate women!
- Rosanna Boom: Yeah, I have a lot of gay friends too.
- Kramet: I hate queers!”
Mel Davidson - Kramet
Mary Stavin - Rosanna Boom

“- Aaron Paradis: I can't handle more surprises today.
- Chris Paradis: Daddy. I'm a lesbian. A big one.”
Stephen Collins - Aaron Paradis
Jennifer Dundas - Chris Paradis

“- Jerky Boy: Mr. Valentine, you said you're a fireman.
- Larry Valentine: Yes, that is correct.
- Jerky Boy: Do you have two jobs? Because my dad said that you're also a butt pirate.”
Connor Wiles - Jerky Boy
Kevin James - Larrie Valentine

“- Kumar Patel: Are all the guards in Guantanamo Bay gay?
- Big Bob: Fuck no! There ain't nothing gay about getting your dick sucked! You're the ones that're gay for sucking my dick!”
Kal Penn - Kumar Patel
Randal Reeder - Big Bob

“I can't shoot ball like Michael Jordan can... but that's alright, though, you know? I'm also gay.”
Bryant L. Crenshaw - Midget

“- Dr. Nokitofa: Technically, tomatoes are fags.
- Dr. Morrison: He means fruits.”
Paul Oya - Dr. Nokitofa
Byron Teegarden - Dr. Morrison

“Dad... dad... do you have your camera handy?”

Patrick Renna - Zack Warner

“I'm not gay myself, but if I were gay, I would certainly be proud to choose a life partner like Gay Focker. And that's his actual name.”
Robert De Niro - Jack Byrnes

“- Doctor: Now you be careful, Earl, or else my grandson might just steal that pretty gal of yours away from you.
- Jimbo: Gramps, I ain't gonna steal Earl's gal, I'm gay.”
Larry Hovis - Doctor
Matthew Davis - Jimbo

“- Spaz: He's bisexual.
- Missy: A bisexual man... do they still make those?”
Andy Dick - Spaz
Cynthia Nixon - Missy

“He appeared to be a good man, but to someone with first-hand knowledge of Latin macho, he seemed to have the emotions of a Mexican woman.”

Paz Vega - Flor

- Victoria Grant: Let me ask you a question.
- Carole "Toddy" Todd: You want to know if I'm a homosexual.
- Victoria Grant: No. I want to know if you're a hypochondriac.
Julie Andrews - Victoria Grant
Robert Preston - Carole "Toddy" Todd

“- Lloyd: We're just trying to provide you all with a balanced perspective, to see that there are options. In the end, it's up to you whether you choose to live a...
- Larry: Lie.
- Lloyd: Whether you want to be who you are or keep it hidden is really more what we're about.
- Megan: So you run like, the underground homo railroad.”
Wesley Mann - Lloyd
Richard Moll - Larry
Natasha Lyonne - Megan

“You telling me the man who try to put a rubber fist in my anus was a homosexual?”
Sacha Baron Cohen - Borat

“Fucking females is for poofs.”
Jason Flemyng - Crazy Larry

“A gay mouth? I have a gay mouth? What does that mean?”
Chris Eigeman - Des

“- Satan: How come you always want to make love to me from behind? Is it because you want to pretend I'm somebody else?
- Saddam Hussein: Satan, your ass is gigantic and red. Who am I going to pretend you are, Liza Minelli?”
Trey Parker - Satan
Matt Stone - Saddam Hussein