Insult quotes

“Joe Haller couldn't find his own ass if somebody rammed it full of radium and gave him a Geiger counter!”

Bill Smitrovich - Andy Fairton

“- Ray Aibelli: Helen, can you do me a favor? Shut your big fat mouth for once! Helen. Helen, wait. I'm sorry! Ok? Please, don't go. Give me one sec... Helen? I'm sorry. I swear to God, I didn't mean to.
- Aunt Helen: You said I had a fat mouth!”

Jeremy Davies - Ray Aibelli
Judette Jones - Aunt Helen

- Marianne Graves: You lying... gutless... son of a... yellow snodbugger, toad, bellybutton... I can"t think of enough awful things to say about you, you bastard!
- Rick Jarmin: I guess that's a 'no' on examining my butt.
Goldie Hawn - Marianne Graves
Mel Gibson - Rick Jarmin

“- Jeff Dunham: You can't tell jokes like that.
- Achmed the Dead Terrorist: Why?
- Jeff Dunham: It offends people.
- Achmed the Dead Terrorist: I'm dead, what do I care?”

Jeff Dunham - Himself
Jeff Dunham - Achmed the Dead Terrorist

“- Angelo 'Snaps' Provolone: You come into my house with your fine print and addendums and try to con me out of my dough? Geez, I'm used to dealing with mobsters, bootleggers, and gunzles, but you bankers... are scary.
- Kirkwood: I have never been so insulted in all my life.
- Angelo 'Snaps' Provolone: Wait. You're young yet.”
Sylvester Stallone - Angelo 'Snaps' Provolone
Ken Howard - Kirkwood

“- Ray Levoi: Crow Horse, fuck you.
- Walter Crow Horse: You'd love to.”

Val Kilmer - Ray Levoi
Graham Greene - Walter Crow Horse

“- Simone: I can't believe she called me a slut. What a bitch!
- Shavonne: Simone, everyone calls you a slut.”
Joey Lauren Adams - Simone
Deena Martin - Shavonne

“This guy's a mutt, he's always been a mutt. He's probably still trying to bang any skank he can get his hands on.”
Jon Bon Jovi - Michael

“There's a Kraut on board too. We got the whole damn Axis here.”

Lionel Stander - Angelo Scioli

“- Judge Chamberlain Haller: When you come into my court looking like you do, you not only insult me, but you insult the integrity of this court!
- Vinny Gambini: I apologise, sir, but, uh... this is how I dress.
- Judge Chamberlain Haller: Fine. I'll let you off this one time. The next time you appear in my court, you will look lawyerly. And I...” (continue)(continue reading)
Fred Gwynne - Judge Chamberlain Haller
Joe Pesci - Vinny Gambini

“- Aurora Greenway: What is it that makes you so insistent on shocking and insulting me? I mean, I really hate that way of talking. You must know this. Why do you do it?
- Garrett Breedlove: I'll tell you, Aurora. I don't know what it is about you, but you do bring out the devil in me.”
Shirley MacLaine - Aurora Greenway
Jack Nicholson - Garrett Breedlove

“You're just an opportunistic prick who'd fuck mud if it'd move a little and not argue too much.”

Rosanna Arquette - Sarah

- Max: Who's your best friend?
- Amy: You are my best friend.
- Max: And what did I say to you the very first day at the Academy?
- Amy: "That's my bunk, bitch".
Meagan Good - Max
Sara Foster - Amy

“It's also my pleasure to see to it that decent, hard-working people in this community aren't robbed blind by a pack of money-mad pirates, just because they haven't had anybody to look after their interests.”
Orson Welles - Kane

“Honest cops are all alike. A bunch of fucking faggots.”
Dan Snow - Cigar Face

“- Linus Caldwell: What did I say?
- Danny Ocean: You called his niece a whore.
- Rusty Ryan: A very cheap one.
- Danny Ocean: She's seven.”

Matt Damon - Linus Caldwell
George Clooney - Danny Ocean
Brad Pitt - Rusty Ryan

“- The Great Edgar: I've got a good mind to...
- Charlie: Why don't you use it?”
Edgar Bergen - The Great Edgar
Charlie McCarthy - Charlie

“- Terrence 'Terry' Chandler: May the old devils depart! May they burn in the fires of their own damnation! May they freeze in the infinite golden darkness of their own hideous creation!
- Glen: Isn't that kind of insulting?
- Terrence 'Terry' Chandler: I guess it's supposed to be. I mean, we're trying to get rid of them.”
Louis Tripp - Terrence 'Terry' Chandler
Stephen Dorff - Glen

"Fuck you" isn't such a bad thing to say to somebody. I mean, it's kind of sweet. It's like saying, "I love you", only it's more... hip.
Sean Astin - Duncan McDermott

“I'm gonna hang up before I catch that new kind of AIDS, hearing AIDS, the kind you get from listening to assholes.”
Paul Mazursky - Artie

“- Elliot Richards: Maybe I should call you a cab... Although it's gonna be hard to find one that'll go to Hell this time of night!
- The Devil: Oh. What a delightfully piquant wit.”
Brendan Fraser - Elliot Richards
Liz Hurley - The Devil

- Leonard Wilcox: Do you know the phrase, "two closed ears and one closed mouth"? Well, that's my motto and I follow it. To hear noting. To See nothing. To speak nothing.
- Walt Koontz: Eh, I don't care what goes on in this rat-trap. Who do you think you're kidding, you got the biggest ears, the biggest nose, and the biggest mouth of anybody I... (continue)(continue reading)
Barry Miller - Leonard Wilcox
Robert De Niro - Walt Koontz

“- Terrance Paul Davidson: I'm a student of human nature.
- Nick Beam: You're a freak of human nature.”
Martin Lawrence - Terrance Paul Davidson
Tim Robbins - Nick Beam

“Okay, kids, let's settle down and review the important information. Lyle is a big doofus. Poor George was really shot, but can't die because let's face it, he's the hero.”

Keith Scott - The Narrator

“- Larry: Hey teeny, how does that sound?
- Jedediah: I... I don't like it. It hurts my feelings.
- Larry: Okay, well Gigantor makes me feel like some sort of freak.”
Ben Stiller - Larry Daley
Owen Wilson - Jedediah