Insult quotes

“- Rudy: You know why people call you a bum? Because it makes them feel better when they say it.
- Francis Phelan: Well, the truth can't hurt you. If you're a bum, you're a bum.”
Tom Waits - Rudy
Jack Nicholson - Francis Phelan

“- Mookie: Pino, fuck you, fuck your fucking pizza, and fuck Frank Sinatra.
- Pino: Yeah? Well fuck you too, and fuck Michael Jackson.”
Spike Lee - Mookie
John Turturro - Pino

“- Chet: And by the way, don't try to steal any of our stuff on your way out!
- Kate: Stuff? What stuff is there to steal?
- Connie: Oh, we got stuff!
- Kate: You're a louse!
- Connie: Well, why don't you go find yourself a spin cycle!
- Chet: Yeah, go find yourself a spin cycle! [turning to Connie] What the hell does that mean?”

John Candy - Chet Ripley
Annette Bening - Kate Craig
Stephanie Faracy - Connie Ripley

- Jack Powell: You know what your problem is, Mister? You have “Exactly Disease”.
- Angry Man: What's that?
- Jack Powell: It's when your mouth smells exactly like your butt!
Robin Williams - Jack Powell
Edward Lynch - Angry Man

“You big ugly piece of… shit!”
Gary Busey - Chet Steadman

“- Bill Firpo: Alvin, if we're going in circles, I'm going to break your neck.
- Alvin Firpo: We're not. I took four lefts, just like the map said.
- Bill Firpo: Four lefts is a circle, you idiot.”
Nicolas Cage - Bill Firpo
Dana Carvey - Alvin Firpo

“- George: She's a woman of substance. A lady.
- Thomas: I thought you said she was a tart. A tall thin black tart.
- George: Maybe, but she's still a fucking lady.”

Bob Hoskins - George
Robbie Coltrane - Thomas

“- Grasshopper: This is an outrage! You are a disgrace to your Phylum, Order, Class, Genus and Spe...
- Centipede: Say it in English!
- Grasshopper: You, sir, are an asp!”
Simon Callow - Grasshopper
Richard Stephen Dreyfuss - Centipede

“Dago, wop, guinea, garlic-breath, pizza-slingin', spaghetti-bendin', Vic Damone, Perry Como, Luciano Pavarotti, Sole Mio, nonsingin' motherfucker.”

Spike Lee - Mookie

“You wouldn't know a good time if it fell out of the sky and landed on your face and started to wiggle!”
Dan Aykroyd - Roman Craig

“- Leah Russell: Don't suppose you've got any jobs in your new pub?
- Sandra Gangel: No. But if I ever do turn it into a brothel I'll get back to you, ok?”
Tameka Empson - Leah Russell
Linda Henry - Sandra Gangel

"A weak and imbecile man, the weakest I've ever knew in a high place. If I wanted to paint a despot, a man perfectly regardless of every Constitutional right of the people, I would paint his hideous form".

Alexander Knox - Woodrow Wilson

“What a creature must sit on the throne who lets a man like you deal out his justice.”

Errol Flynn - Peter Blood

“- Viking Lofgren: Hey, lipshitz.
- Horowitz: The name is Horowitz, asshole.
- Viking Lofgren: Horowitz asshole?”
Clancy Brown - Viking Lofgren
Eric Gurry - Horowitz

“- Captain Monroe Kelly: So why'd you quit the CIA?
- Dr. Karen Ross: I never worked for the CIA.
- Captain Monroe Kelly: Of course you didn't. But if you had worked for the CIA, why would you quit?
- Dr. Karen Ross: 'Cause they're a loveless bunch of sons of bitches.”
Ernie Hudson - Captain Monroe Kelly
Laura Linney - Dr. Karen Ross

“- Ian Faith: I'm not talking to this twisted fruit anymore!
- Hotel Receptionist: I'm... just as God made me, Sir.”
Tony Hendra - Ian Faith

“Your face is familiar. Let me see. You're not anyone I know right now - perhaps later on my hunting trip. Yes, you look like someone I might meet in the jungle.”

John Alexander - "Teddy Roosevelt" Brewster

“- Shannon: Jana, isn't that your muff diving little sister over there with her disgusting boscoe-flavored girlfriend?
- Jana: Insert it in your clammy crevice, will ya, Shannon?”
Teresa Hill - Shannon
Denise Richards - Jana

“- Emperor Tod Spengo: What do you think of me now, Afir?
- General Afir: I think you're a small, pathetic, insignificant, little criten.”

Jon Lovitz - Emperor Tod Spengo
Thalmus Rasulala - General Afir

“- Tucker: How's momma?
- Gilbert: She's fat.
- Tucker: Come on, man. She's not all that big, Gilbert.
- Gilbert: What?
- Tucker: Listen, I saw a guy at the state fair who was... a little bit bigger.
- Gilbert: A little bit bigger?
- Tucker: Look, all I'm sayin' is that she's not the biggest I ever seen, okay?
- Gilbert: Tucker, she's a whale!
-...” (continue)(continue reading)
John C. Reilly - Tucker Van Dyke
Johnny Depp - Gilbert Grape
Leonardo DiCaprio - Arnie Grape

“- Buff: I've been making these tapes, you know, video tapes. I ripped off a camcorder up at the mall and I thought, you know, it could be something that I do, be a video artist, you know.
- Tim: Ladies and gentlemen, Buff, the postmodern idiot savant. He willl outdo us all.”
Steve Zahn - Buff
Nicky Katt - Tim