Irony quotes

“- Charles Xavier: You sure I can't convince you to stay?
- Erik Lensherr: You're psychic, Charles. You can convince me to do anything.
- Charles Xavier: Goodbye, old friend.
- Erik Lensherr: Good luck, Professor.”
James McAvoy - Professor Charles Xavier
Michael Fassbender - Erik Lensherr

“Death by stereo!”

Corey Haim - Sam

“- Will Henry: I just did grown up stuff.
- Colette: What kind of grown-up stuff?
- Will Henry: You know, like, just walking around, doing a job, talking in the serious voice...”

Jemaine Clement - Will Henry
Gia Gadsby - Colette

“What are we, in the sixth grade? I'm not going to eat this.”

Elijah Wood - Waters

“- New Year's Eve Stranger: Isn't there some sort of tradition, if you're alone on New Year's Eve, that you're supposed to kiss a stranger?
- Adaline Bowman: [laughs]
- New Year's Eve Stranger: Dammit, you've heard it before?
- Adaline Bowman: Just once, from a young Bing Crosby.”
Mark Ghanimé - New Year's Eve Stranger
Blake Lively - Adaline Bowman

“All the money I spent on your education, I was hoping for stronger competition.”

Harrison Ford - William Jones

“- Beck Weathers: What do you do when you're not climbing, Doug?
- Doug Hansen: I deliver the mail.
- Beck Weathers: First mailman on Everest?
- Doug Hansen: Hope so!”
Josh Brolin - Beck Weathers
John Hawkes - Doug Hansen

“Daughters do not dance well with masticated brains.”
Charles Dance - Mr. Bennet

“- Lena Ballinger: Bathtubs are more dangerous than Everest.
- Luca Moroder: How true.”
Rachel Weisz - Lena Ballinger

“- Beca Mitchell: We're going to kick your ass.
- Female Das Sound Machine Leader: I'm sorry, I don't speak loser. What did you say?
- Male Das Sound Machine Leader: She actually speaks eight languages but 'loser' is not one of them.”
Anna Kendrick - Beca
Allie Feder - Female Das Sound Machine Leader
Andrew Fitzpatrick - Male Das Sound Machine Leader

“Here's what you guys are good at: working out, eating five hot meals a day. What you're not so good at, is doing what you're told.”

David Costabile - Bob

“- Judy Hopps: Y'know, I think you might actually make a good cop.
- Nick Wilde: How dare you.”
Ginnifer Goodwin - Judy Hopps
Jason Bateman - Nick Wilde

“- Sabina Spielrein: When my father brought me to you I was very ill and my illness was sexual. It's clear that the subject I'm studying is entirely grounded in sexuality so naturally I'm becoming more and more acutely awake of the fact that I have no sexual experience.
- Carl Jung: Law students are not normally expected to rob banks.”
Keira Knightley - Sabina Spielrein
Michael Fassbender - Carl Jung

“My sister finally moves in with me. The problem is, she finally decides to do it when she's dead.”
Helen Mirren - Maria Altmann

“I was unaware that zombies possessed such acuity so as to set such traps. Before we know it, they'll be running for Parliament.”
Matt Smith - Parson Collins

“- Edgar: Read this.
- Sam: I told you I don't like horror comics.
- Alan: Think of it more as a survival manual. There's our number on the back and pray you never need to call us.
- Sam: I'll pray I never need to call you. Sure.”
Corey Feldman - Edgard Frog
Corey Haim - Sam
Jamison Newlander - Alan Frog

“You have no sense of humor, like a chair, or a supermodel.”

Nick Kroll - Professor Poopypants

“- Maria: I’ve finally returned to my quiet little life and begun to make peace with it.
- Randy: Say that again with conviction.
- Maria: Don’t be impertinent.”
Helen Mirren - Maria Altmann
Ryan Reynolds - Randol Schoenberg

“Two wayward travellers stuck in a Geo with a guy named Vic.”
Sandra Bullock - Sarah Lewis

“I make that same face when I put my cologne on in the morning, especially when I'm home alone.”

David Spade - General George Custer

“Jesus, why didn't they just build this place on the surface of the fucking sun?”

Jon Tenney - Jeff

“Don't take anything too seriously, it'll all work out in the end.”
David Niven

“I really have to keep an eye on myself, because sometimes I think I might say something important.”
Leslie William Nielsen

You know, when Adlai Stevenson was running for president A woman came into him on a rally one night and said, "Every thinking person will be voting for you." Stevenson said "Ma'am, that's not enough. I need a majority."
Billy Bob Thornton - Pat Candy

“- Leslie Breitbart: How's my daughter?
- Josh: How's she seem to you?
- Leslie Breitbart: Seems well.
- Josh: So why are you asking me?”
Charles Grodin - Leslie Breitbart
Ben Stiller - Josh