Marriage quotes

“- Sam: You know, Karen, if we had gotten married, we'd be going shopping like this.
- Karen: No, if we had gotten married I'd be doing this alone.”
Tom Berenger - Sam
JoBeth Williams - Karen

- Davis "Rig" Lanlow: Nick, are you aware that there are only two kinds of people on the whole planet? There are killers and then there's everybody else. I'm the killer, Nick, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, what are you, Nick?
- Nick Beam: I'm married!
John C. McGinley - Davis "Rig" Lanlow
Tim Robbins - Nick Beam

“I'm gonna pay you back for every lie you told. I'm gonna flirt and lie and cheat and swindle right through to our golden wedding.”

Fredric March - Wally Cook

A toast before we go into battle. True love. In whatever shape or form it may come. May we all in our dotage be proud to say, "I was adored once too".
Simon Callow - Gareth - Wedding One

“Marriage is a business - a very serious business, a partnership in the strictest sense of the word. One must prepare for it. There is so many things to learn.”
Lucile Watson - Mrs. Harriet Mason

“When I've put a rope round the Avenger's neck, I'll put a ring around Daisy's finger.”
Malcolm Keen - Joe, a police detective

“You know, a few minutes ago a reporter asked me what I thought and how I would describe the marriage between the soft drink King and the Queen of Hollywood. I told him I thought it was a hell of a match.”
Faye Dunaway - Joan Crawford

“When you get there tell my wife that two years in prison camp is roughly equal to four years of marriage and I'm glad to be free of them both.”

Brad Pitt - Heinrich Harrer

“- Rick Jarmin: What does it matter to you - you're happily married?
- Marianne Graves: I'm not.
- Rick: Not happy?
- Marianne Graves: Not married.”
Mel Gibson - Rick Jarmin
Goldie Hawn - Marianne Graves

“There are certain things in life that are sacred - sagradas - and we don't spit on them. Because, without them, it doesn't matter whether we live or die. Marriage is something that we don't spit on.”
Jenny Gago - Maria

“- Robbie Hart: How much is it?
- Flight Attendant: It's free.
- Robbie Hart: It's what? Holy shit, this is incredible. Actually, I shouldn't drink. I fell in love with this girl who's going to marry an idiot, so I'm on my way to Vegas to stop them.
- Female Passenger: That's the sweetest thing I have ever heard! Where are they getting married?
-...” (continue)(continue reading)
Adam Sandler - Robbie Hart

“- Highway: Hey, Baby. You fool around on the first date?
- Little Mary: Oooooo [hugs Highway].
- Little Mary: Damn you, boy, don't you know how to write or call?
- Highway: Well, I didn't want you to spend any sleepless nights thinking about me.
- Little Mary: Come on, I'll get you a beer.
- Highway: Great. I could use one.
- Highway: You look...” (continue)(continue reading)
Clint Eastwood - Highway
Eileen Heckart - Little Mary

“- Gabrielle: You've got to take me with you and teach me everything you know! You can't leave me here.
- Xena: Why?
- Gabrielle: Did you see the guy they want me to marry?
- Xena: He looks like a gentle soul. That's rare in a man.
- Gabrielle: It's not the gentle part I have a problem with. It's the dull, stupid part.”
Renée O'Connor - Gabrielle
Lucy Lawless - Xena

“I don't approve of honeymoons. A waste of time.”

Charles Coburn - Judge Joseph M. Doolittle

“- Barbara Butabi: Steve, don't hit on the bridesmaid. It's your wedding.
- Kamehl Butabi: Can you wait until after the ceremony please?”
Loni Anderson - Barbara Butabi
Dan Hedaya - Kamehl Butabi

“- Lars Smuntz: You used to love string.
- April Smuntz: That was before, when I was dating the son of wealthy string magnate! Not now when I am married to the half owner of a worthless deathtrap!”
Lee Evans - Lars Smuntz
Vicki Lewis - April Smuntz

“- Anne Shirley: I wouldn't marry anyone who was really wicked, but I think I'd like it if he could be wicked and wouldn't.
- Marilla Cuthbert: You'll have better sense some day, I hope.”
Megan Follows - Anna Shirley Cuthbert
Colleen Dewhurst - Marilla Cuthbert

“He's sweet and thoughtful, sane and considerate. I was married to one who was insane and inconsiderate.”

Irene Dunne - Lucy Warriner

“- Grandfather George: You want to know why they're called Faith, Hope, Grace and Charity?
- Bill Rowen: Why?
- Grandfather George: Your Grandmother. She named them after the virtues I lack. That's marriage for you!”

Ian Bannen - Grandfather George
Sebastian Rice-Edwards - Bill Rohan

“- David Van Arkle: What kind of person marries someone they don't know?
- Muriel Heslop: You did.
- David Van Arkle: I want to win. All my life I've wanted to win.”
Daniel Lapaine - David Van Arkle
Toni Collette - Muriel Heslop

“- Andrew Miller: Mrs. Karkanie is giving me a do over. She says everyone get's a second chance.
- Daniel Miller: That's only because she's been married 5 times. Let me tell you something, in the business world there are no second chances.”

Mikey Kovar - Andrew Miller
David Paymer - Daniel Miller

“- Oscar Madison: I know I haven't been there a lot for you, Brucey, but this is the best advice I'll ever give you, not getting married today is the right thing for you to do.
- Brucey Madison: Maybe it's right for you, it's wrong for me! You tell everybody I'm getting dressed.
- Oscar Madison: Thank God you said that. I wasn't sure how long I...” (continue)(continue reading)
Walter Matthau - Oscar Madison
Jonathan Silverman - Brucey Madison

“One of you's gonna get married and the other one's going to jail, so you really got a lot in common.”
William Frawley - Sheriff McGee

“- Vada Sultenfuss: Why do you think people want to get married?
- Thomas J. Sennett: When you get older, you just have to.”
Anna Chlumsky - Vada Sultenfuss
Macaulay Culkin - Thomas J. Sennett

“- Rick Leland: It'll probably end up with Captain Higoto marrying us on the boat.
- Alberta Marlow: No! I want a church wedding and a groom who's got more than two suits.”
Humphrey Bogart - Rick Leland
Mary Astor - Alberta Marlow