Money quotes

“- Merton: You want me to seduce a dying girl? And what makes you think she'll just leave me all her money?
- Kate Croy: I know her. I know how she loves.”
Linus Roache - Merton
Helena Bonham Carter - Kate Croy

“Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons.”
Woody Allen

“Money couldn't buy friends but you got a better class of enemy.”
Spike Milligan

“I have enough money to last me the rest of my life, unless I buy something.”
Jackie Mason

“Most people work just hard enough not to get fired and get paid
just enough money not to quit.”
George Carlin

“- Nina Brewster: Do you know what it is when you trade sex for money?
- Jackie Truman: Advertising!”
Queen Latifah - Nina Brewster
Katie Holmes - Jackie Truman

“- Aunt Vesta: Here you go, little girl [Hands C.C. some money].
- Young C.C.: What's this for?
- Aunt Vesta: It'll keep you honest.”
Carol Williard - Aunt Vesta
Mayim Bialik - CC (age 11)

“Money can't buy happiness! Only power can do that!”
Andy Kaufman - Armageddon T. Thunderbird

“You should also know that I never fucked a customer out of his front money. I've been coming to this gym three or four times a week for five years. I'm an easy man to find. My reputation speaks for itself. The fact is that if you can't come up with the front money you're not for real.”
Willem Dafoe - Eric Masters

“- Salinger: Our stock's in the fucking toilet.
- Gene: Everybody's stock's in the toilet.”
Craig T. Nelson - Salinger
Tommy Lee Jones - Gene McClary

“- Holly Golightly: I'll tell you one thing, Fred, darling... I'd marry you for your money in a minute. Would you marry me for my money?
- Paul Varjak: In a minute.
- Holly Golightly: I guess it's pretty lucky neither of us is rich, huh?
- Paul Varjak: Yeah.”
Audrey Hepburn - Holly Golightly
George Peppard - Paul Varjak

“You've got no imagination. You couldn't even decide what to do with all that money, so you had to buy what everybody else wanted.”
Mark Wahlberg - Charlie Croker

“See... the problem here is that... my little brother, this morning, got his arm caught in the microwave, and uh... my grandmother dropped acid and she freaked out, and hijacked a school bus full of... penguins, so it's kind of a family crisis... so come back later? Great.”

John Cusack - Lane Myer

“Women are funny, ain't they? They're all tramps, ain't they? Yeah. Except when you can get money from them!”
Leila Hyams - Venus

“Seven bucks for a movie! The price for an evening of puerile entertainment is preposterous! I could better spend an evening in the library, which is why I always carry this.”
Jeff Bergman - Daffy Duck

“Even Ray Charles can see he's got money.”
Ron Cephas Jones - Ice

“- Piper: I want half.
- Dodge: Half. Fuck you, this isn't divorce.”

Laurence Fishburne - Piper
Stephen Baldwin - Dodge

“I'm so naive about finances. Once when my mother mentioned an amount and I realized I didn't understand, she had to explain: 'That's like three Mercedes.' Then I understood.”
Brooke Shields

“Dented cans are half-price. Microsoft went down 3 points. We gotta save some money.”

Adam Sandler - Sonny Koufax

“- Jay: Where would someone like grandma hide her money?
- Arty: You're not thinking of stealing it, are you?
- Jay: No, but what if we just borrowed it? I'd just love to send Pop an envelope with $9,000.
- Arty: Who would he think sent it to him... God?”
Brad Stoll - Jay
Mike Damus - Arty

“Terrorists are crazy. Mercenaries I understand, but terrorists... puuhh!”
Larry D. Mann - Tibor

“- Ellen: Have you ever been in love?
- Jonathan: I was kinda fond of that hundred dollar bill.”
Jacqueline Bisset - Ellen
Andrew McCarthy - Jonathan

“- Mickey: Uh, barkeep, I'd like to speak with Porky.
- Bartender: Porky's busy.
- Mickey: Yeah, well he ain't too busy for what I want. I want to pay for some pussy.
- Bartender: Pay me.”
Roger Wilson - Mickey
Will Knickerbocker - Bartender

“- Joon: I'll make you proud of me. When I grow up, I'll make lots of money.
- Grandfather: Let me tell you, grandson. Money is not the most important thing in life. The most important thing is... broads. Broads!”

John Louie - Joon
Johnny Yune - Grandfather

“If you don't cough up the money, you're through. The only showroom you'll be seeing will have Toyotas in it.”

Charles Woolf - Manny