Women quotes

“Canine ownership has nothing to do with mankind's love of animals. A guy gets a dog for one simple reason: to meet chicks.”
Blake Steury - Pat

- "Mud": How could you invite her over?! She's going to find out!
- Dennis Van Welker: Mud, in a couple of years, two things will happen. One, you'll grow a ridiculous mustache that looks fruit mold on your upper lip. Two, you'll suddenly understand why men invite charming, attractive women to dinner.
Jonathan Jackson - Morris 'Mud' Himmel
Chris Lloyd - Dennis Van Welker

“Killing a woman, it's not the same as killing a man. You have to pull the trigger a different way.”
Antonio Banderas - Miguel Bain

“We're in a mess. Rush to Freedonia! Three men and one woman are trapped in a building! Send help at once! If you can't send help, send two more women!”

Groucho Marx - Rufus T. Firefly

“- Billy: She's married to some big black stud and he's gonna cut your pecker off.
- Tommy: Yeah, I hear he's packing tweezers.”

Mark Herrier - Billy
Wyatt Knight - Tommy

“I know there's more to life then women. I just can't figure out what else there is. I don't need it every night, every morning would be just fine. A little sex, that's all I'm asking for.”
Dian Bachar - George Noon

“Behind every good man there is a woman, and that woman was Martha Washington, man, and everyday George came home, she had a big fat bowl waiting for him, man, when he came in the door, man, she was a hip, hip, hip lady, man.”
Rory Cochrane - Slater

“Let me stay close. Nothing can happen to me when I'm with you.”

Jessica Alba - Nancy Callahan

“I know all about women. No two are ever alike, and after they've met me, no two are ever the same.”
Jude Law - Gigolo Joe

Basic principles: no woman wakes up saying "God, I hope I don't get swept off my feet today!”. Now, she might say, "This is a really bad time for me”, or something like "I just need some space” or, my personal favorite, "I'm really into my career right now”. You believe that? Neither does she. You know why? Because she's lying to you, that's why.
Will Smith - Hitch

“If I were a woman, I'd be a slut. A lesbian slut.”
Tim Blake Nelson - Bubba

“- Tweeter: Will you listen to me? Women are all just panty droppers. You understand? That's it.
- Mox: What?
- Tweeter: Listen. You give 'em Percocet, two Vicoden and a couple of beers, and the panties fall off. This is nice. It's very nice.
- Mox: It's nice?
- Tweeter: It's nice.
- Mox: Tweeter, you think you'll enjoy prison?
- Tweeter: [not...” (continue)(continue reading)
Scott Caan - Tweeter
James Van Der Beek - Mox

“- Evelyn: Get off me, you pervert!
- Stephen Price: Congratulations. I don't think Evelyn's said that to anything with testicles, ever.”

Famke Janssen - Evelyn
Geoffrey Rush - Stephen Price

“You see, I've always wanted to be a painter, and like many artists before me,
the female form has always been a great source of fascination.”
Sean Biggerstaff - Ben Willis

“Eagle Eyes. Nine enhanced-vision modes. Every little boy's dream: the penetrator mode.”

Michael Roof - Toby Lee Shavers

“It happens to everyone... men, mean. We're lucky... women, I mean... we can fake it if we have to.”

Lesley Ann Warren - Norma Cassady

“- Becky O'Shea: Give me a J. Give me a U. Give me A.
- Danny O'Shea: Is that lipstick?
- Becky O'Shea: No. It's a cherry tootsie pop.”

Shawna Waldron - Becky O'Shea
Rick Moranis - Danny O'Shea

“- Queen Doris of the Sixth Dimension: Tell me why that French slut is so special to you and why you carry her picture around in your pocket!
- King Fausto of the Sixth Dimension: All right, I'll tell to you. She's French and that's simple. Therefore she's of the master race. A direct descendant of God just like me.”
Susan Tyrrell - Queen Doris of the Sixth Dimension
Hervé Villechaize - King Fausto of the Sixth Dimension

“How can such a civilization survive which permits their women to put things like that on their heads?”

Greta Garbo - Nina Ivanovna Yakushova aka Ninotchka

“Nothing comes between a pregnant lady and a meal.”
Rene Russo - Lorna Cole

“- Cole Younger: Sadie was a beautiful woman, Sadie was not a man!
- Jesse James: She had a mustache, a nice mustache.
- Frank James: I think she had more than a mustache!
- Cole Younger: Well, she was European.”
Scott Caan - Cole Younger
Colin Farrell - Jesse James
Gabriel Macht - Frank James

“- The Caller: You think she didn't know she was being watched.
- Stu: What?
- The Caller: But beautiful women always know. That false indifference, superior air. It's just a tease. They want eyes on them. Why does she put on her make up? Do her hair? Dress so nicely? Not for her husband which she hardly ever sees, no, it's for somebody else to...” (continue)(continue reading)

Kiefer Sutherland - The Caller
Colin Farrell - Stu Shepard

“You have a beautiful name. Peen-a-lop.”

Steve Lemme - Juan

“- Ryan Harrison: Sit down, Pancakes. Of all the women in all the world, you had to walk into mine.
- Cass Lake: I'm sure if we just talk all night, we can work this out.”
Leslie William Nielsen - Ryan Harrison
Melinda McGraw - Cass Lake

“A woman is like a slingshot. The greater the resistance, the further you can get with her.”
Steve Martin - Jonas