Chevy Chase movie quotes

“- Cousin Eddie: I haven't seen a beatin' like that since somebody stuck a banana in my pants and turned a monkey loose.
- Clark Griswold: Thanks for the pick me up Eddie.”
Randy Quaid - Cousin Eddie
Chevy Chase - Clark Griswold

“- Lucky Day: Dusty, how do you like your bat?
- Dusty Bottoms: Medium rare.”

Steve Martin - Lucky Day
Chevy Chase - Dusty Bottoms

“Oh the hills are alive with the sound of Griswold, this shit's been around for a very long time. I'm feeling so high, I just can't stand it. It's as if I've been here for at least a week.”

Chevy Chase - Clark Griswold

“- Ellen Griswold: Clark, let's just skip the house of mud. I think Dodge City was enough fun for one day. Besides, Catherine and Eddie are expecting us.
- Clark Griswold: It's living history Ellen. But if you'd rather see your cousins. Personally I'd rather see a pile of mud than Eddie.”
Beverly D'Angelo - Ellen Griswold
Chevy Chase - Clark Griswold

“Bet with the bank. Bet with the player. Nine is a natural.”

Chevy Chase - Clark Griswold

“- Clark Griswold: Excuse me, could you please tell me how to get back on the express way?
- Pimp: Fuck yo mama!
- Clark Griswold: Thank you very much.”
Chevy Chase - Clark Griswold

“- Sam McKenna: Hey, doc, what happened to your foot?
- Dr. Farthing: What I don't understand is... when you owe a bookie a lot of money, and he, say, blows off one of your toes, you still owe him the money. Doesn't seem fair to me. Especially when he's gonna kill me in four days anyway.”
Artie Lange - Sam McKenna
Chevy Chase - Dr. Farthing

“- Rusty: Dad?
- Clark Griswold: In a minute Russ.
- Clark Griswold [talking to Cousin Eddie]: You see the promise of material possesions can often blind one to...
- Clark Griswold: [Rusty taps Clark on the arm] What is it, Russ?
- Rusty: Those four cars over there... they're mine.
- Clark Griswold: What do you mean they're... they're yours?
-...” (continue)(continue reading)
Ethan Embry - Rusty Griswold
Chevy Chase - Clark Griswold

“- Clark Griswold: Real tomato ketchup, Eddie?
- Cousin Eddie: Oh, nothing but the best.”
Chevy Chase - Clark Griswold
Randy Quaid - Cousin Eddie

“Hello, my family and I were looking for sex.”
Chevy Chase - Clark Griswold

“I think you're all fucked in the head. We're ten hours from the fucking fun park and you want to bail out. Well I'll tell you something. This is no longer a vacation. It's a quest. It's a quest for fun. You're gonna have fun, and I'm gonna have fun... We're all gonna have so much fucking fun we're gonna need plastic surgery to remove our goddamn...” (continue)(continue reading)
Chevy Chase - Clark Griswold

“- Tony Carlson: Gloria, just sit back and enjoy the fire. I'm pouring you a nice, warm, albino Martini. Here you go, drink this, then it's off to bed.
- Gloria Mundy: You should have been a doctor.
- Tony Carlson: Okay, we'll play whatever you like.”
Chevy Chase - Tony Carlson
Goldie Hawn - Gloria Mundy

“- Wayne Newton: Very special lady.
- Clark Griswold: That's why I entered into the sacred bond of marriage with her.”

Wayne Newton - Wayne Newton
Chevy Chase - Clark Griswold

“- Irwin 'Fletch' Fletcher: It's a championship Laker watch.
- Cindy Mae: Oh, are you a Laker?
- Irwin 'Fletch' Fletcher: I used to date one - only thing I have to remember him by.”
Chevy Chase - Irwin 'Fletch' Fletcher
Constance Shulman - Cindy Mae

“I was a fugitive, afraid of getting caught. I kept imagining Jenkins leaping out at me from every dark corner. As a child, I would dream about being invisible. I thought it would be so easy. I could do what I want, go where I want and take what I want. But that's the catch. No matter how hungry I was, I couldn't give myself away.”
Chevy Chase - Nick Halloway

“- Clark Griswold: That's a very special guitar. It was given to me by Bob Dylan.
- James Griswold: The Bob Dylan?
- Clark Griswold: No, a Bob Dylan but it was given to him by Jimi Hendrix.
- James Griswold: The Jimi Hendrix?
- Clark Griswold: No.”
Chevy Chase - Clark Griswold
Skyler Gisondo - James Griswold

“- David Jenkins: Suppose we'd had you, an invisible agent in 1939. Maybe there wouldn't have been a second World War.
- Nick Halloway: What are you saying? You mean I would've killed Hitler for you?
- David Jenkins: I mean maybe you could've saved thirty million lives. Changed history. Now, assassination, anything at all, is entirely ethical if...” (continue)(continue reading)
Sam Neill - David Jenkins
Chevy Chase - Nick Halloway

“It takes a big man to admit when he's wrong. I am not a big man.”
Chevy Chase - Irwin 'Fletch' Fletcher

“I'm making this out for one thousand dollars. All you have to do is give me 300 dollars in cash and keep 700 dollars, all for doing nothing more than acting like a total creep.”
Chevy Chase - Clark Griswold

“- Clark Griswold: There it is, kids, my motherland.
- Rusty Griswold: Dad, Grandma's from Chicago.
- Clark Griswold: Shut up, Russ.”

Chevy Chase - Clark Griswold
Jason Lively - Rusty Griswold

“Nice place for a pearl necklace.”

Chevy Chase - Clark Griswold

“Want a joint? You know what they say, cops have the best dope.”
Chevy Chase - Tony Carlson

“- Clark Griswold: Have you even driven cross-country?
- Roy Walley: Oh, hell yes. Drove the whole family to Florida. Worst two weeks I ever spent in my life.”
Chevy Chase - Clark Griswold
Eddie Bracken - Roy Walley

“- Cousin Eddie: How do you like yours, Clark?
- Clark Griswold: Oh, medium rare, a little pink inside.
- Cousin Eddie: No, I mean your bun.”
Randy Quaid - Cousin Eddie
Chevy Chase - Clark Griswold

“- Motorcycle Cop: Do you know what the penalty for animal cruelty is in this state?
- Clark Griswold: No, sir, I don't.
- Motorcycle Cop: Well... it's probably pretty stiff.”
James Keach - Motorcycle Cop
Chevy Chase - Clark Griswold